How do you tell your wife she has to get fit (loose weight)or she'll die?

Question

all the answers so far are excellent and have helped ....THAK YOU

We were told that the 'pill'(contraceptive)she has been on for 5 years ads roughly 5kg a year. Her wieght has ballooned from 75kg to 145kg in 5 years.She is now of it. We hired a walker from the jym she used it twice, I bought her a recumbent exercise bike as this is better for her back she has used it half a dozen times. I am a loving husband and would never insult my wife!

Answer 1

Depends on your woman. This has the potential to be a sticky situation. If she is like most women I know, she is very sensitive about her size/weight.
One thing for sure is do NOT pressure her, call her names, give her ultimatums, be rude or condensending in any way. This always turns out bad. She will either 1)Never lose the weight and be resentful of you and turn the whole food thing into a control issue, or 2)She will lose the weight and resent you for not loving/supporting her when she needed it the most.
A few ideas:
1)Say to her in a loving way that you are concerned about her health and want her around enjoying life with you for a long time. And, you love her no matter what. She needs to feel this in order to make a lifestyle change.
2) Then offer to exercise WITH her, or ask her to do things with you that will get her moving. If you are really motivated to help her out, show support this way. Are you a golfer? Get her a set of clubs and walk all 18, or something like that. Offer to cook a few meals during the week or go shopping with her. Maybe you could enter the Body for Life challenge as a couple. If she knows you are on her side and working with her, not against her and she is not in this battle alone, she will have a very high chance at success. Get in shape or healthy with her, but do NOT act like her coach/boss. That will only backfire. Treat her with love and respect.
3) Take a photo or video of her, and DO NOT say a thing. Then she will take it the wrong way. Pick an event like birthday, family gathering or whatever. Some people don't know the extent of their girth until they can see it. When she takes a look, she will know. She has to want to be fit for herself, not you.
If you have already offended her, oppologize. You will not get what you want if you don't. If she knows she is overweight, she can have low self esteem and be in a sensitive place in her life. For you to be effective, you need to be very loving.

Answer 2

There is not enough detail to warrant a clear response. If you are a control freak/ fitness guru, then you may say that to a woman who only has 30 pounds to loose..... right?

I mean, is it like she is on BP meds, winded climbing stairs, using a walking stick???? More detail please.

If it IS a serious condition and the entire family agrees with you, then I would SEROUSLY consider organizing an intervention with the assistance of a professional intervention group.... Most weigth problems are emotional/ psychological issues that cause the overeating and emotional food binges......... You need to treat this matter as if it were a drug or alcohol problem because the addictive behavior is IDENTICAL to that of and addict.

If she could just "turn it off" she would have already. This is deeper than the logical view that men carry naturally. Women are emotional and you have to handle them by working with the way THEIR brains are wired.

Consider an intervention. Consider couples councelling to help you find better ways to open the lines of communication.

If you are planning on taking this stance with a woman who is not that dramatically overweight (and not clearly at risk of heart attack or stroke - due to Dr warnings) then you are going to kill her soul by saying that............ You need to find a different approach. Call Dr Laura show or something...........

I hope I was of help to you. Good luck -

Talking about weight for a woman is like measuring your penis in public........ Just remember that.

Answer 3

I've lost 5 kilos in my first week. It's my 10th day and I have included salad with some protein (eg. egg/ lean chicken) as you suggested. After 4 years of trying, the fat is finally coming off. It truly feels like magic!

Get started today!

Answer 4

Let me start by saying I'm massively obese. My health is at risk every single day, and every time I eat a biscuit or don't go for my nightly walk, I'm making it worse.

Your wife knows. Of course she knows that being fat is unhealthy. The thing is not to make her feel like you're psuhing her. There's no pint making her feel forced or unloved, she'll just rebel and probably end up fat, hating you and stuffing her face with Tim Tams. She can only make the decision to help herself on her own.

Try watching The Biggest Loser together, to start with. That might give her a bit of inspiration, especially if she finds a favourite who she can relate to. Then start doing things with her. Or encourage one of her friends in a similar siutation to do things with her. NOT one who's feeling sorry for the poor fat woman, but one who wants to genuinely wants to make some changes in her self. That way, your wife feels like she is part of something, not the focus of something. Do small things like park the car a little bit further away from the shop than you would like, and walk the extra distance. Develop healthy eating habits of your own, and encourage her GENTLY to follow. "Here's some lovely carrot sticks darling, would you like one?" Encourage and compliment her if she does well. Remember that she's likely to be feeling self concious and uncomfortable. Go for walks at night, when noone can see her sweating and puffing. Just be gentle and understand that things might take a while. There are heaps of websites and chat rooms which cater to larger women which can be great support networks.

Once she gets going, she should gain her own kind of rhythm and respect for what she's doing. Good luck to you, but most of all good luck to her.

Answer 5

Simply tell her. Perhaps this fear of yours of saying the things you always wanted to tell her but put away for a long time is the same destructive pattern you do with yourself and others.

Don't worry, if she listens, she won't die. You are doing her a service, by telling her, although a painful one. Love is not always being nice.

Answer 6

Invest in a good quality treadmill, hire purchase, and start using it on a daily basis. Set up routine for each morning/night and ask her if she's interested in doing it too???




PEACE & LOVE & ALL THAT

Answer 7

Make it something you approach together. Start out slow like going for walks. Work up slowly and she may decide it's a good choice herself. Let he know you're concerned and you don't want anything to happen to her.

Answer 8

Tell her the truth. You only care about her. Maybe you can lose weight together. Tell her if she loses a certain weight before you do...you can buy her something or do something for her? Just a suggestion.

Answer 9

Work out with her. invite her on walks with you n stuff. Oh and have more sex thats great excercise.

Answer 10

Tell her that you are worryed about her health and make sure that you tell her that you love her.