College professor with no confidence?

Question

Here's the scenario I experienced at work:

I had a man approach me at work (restaurant) asking me why I forgot to tell his server something. He came up to me rather nicely but with disappointment, glanced at my nametag and asked me by my name why I forgot to tell his server what I told him I would. I simply forgot because we're all human so I told him that he should of told his server. The man (way shorter than me, around his 50's) kept telling me that he was really disappointed with me, it almost turned into an argument. Then he says something like, "Listen *my name*, I'm a professor of Engineering at *insert college name here*". He says it out of the blues while he was trying to argue with me. Nothing was ever mentioned about education or occupation.

My question would be...is this man insecure or lacking confidence? Did he try and put himself over me? Is he holding his position and role in society over my substantially lower position (restaurant worker)? Is it my height? (i'm 6'2).

Answer 1

You are telling a one sided story. From an objective view, I can only speculate the following.

1) In a heat of a almost argument, anything can be said at the spur of the moment. So, it does not reflect the normal and true inner self.

2) He may feel your attitude toward him is somewhat disrespectful. So he wants you to know that he is in a profession where he is respected and feared in certain aspects.

3) May be he is trying to belittling you by saying I hold a more respectful and higher paying jobs than you. So shut up and listen to me and feel apologetic to what you have done.

Well, since I don't know both of you or present when the incident occurred, I can only come up these explanation based on your recollections

Answer 2

No, I seriously doubt that it's his confidence or insecurity that is worrying you. Just believe that you have no lack of confidence either. While he may have had a bad day, that's no excuse.

An insecure person would likely not have approached you at all.
I think he may have been asserting his rights as a customer - standing up for the right to better service by letting you know that you did not provide the service that was requested.

You say that "he came up to you rather nicely" - Do you think that it makes him insecure or lacking confidence? Is that because he didn't come up to you yelling and hollering or screaming a few vile obscenities because you forgot to properly serve his needs, whether it was your job or that of another server?

If it almost turned into an augument - did you stop arguing with him or did he finally give up "trying to argue with you"?
I think you did a fine job because the argument stopped without escalating into a shouting match and you should be proud.

Many food service and restaurant workers earn a good living in a long honorable career of professional food service.

You didn't mention alcohol consumption in your scenario - but
Also, if alcohol consumption had anything to do with the man's behavior - you should know - it had nothing to do with you - alcohol can change an assertive person into an aggressive one who doesn't know when to quit an argument.

Best Wishes!

Answer 3

He just might have been having a rough day so you could have just apologized and gave him a hug! He may have needed one! It is true we are all humans but it seems to me you became defensive and shouldn't have. As far as his profession, he may have said that to make you feel lower than himself and if that is the case, you shouldn't even worry about that part. The way you told the story it is he that has the issues but you could have been the bigger person by just saying I'm sorry but I'll go tell your server now.

Answer 4

I would venture to guess that he has a definite inferiority complex, using his position to intimidate and project the inferiority onto you, thus pacifying himself. I don't care what he is, who he is, how smart or educated he is, he is substantially lacking in himself and in humanity. And if he had any insight he would do something about it instead of bullying you or anyone else. You should consider yourself above all that, because you are.

Answer 5

pass to her workplace after classification below the guise of having some classification appropriate questions and then praise something about her earrings or workplace and commence some small talk and be conscious if shes smooth taking it to a own aspect. Then even as youre about to leave basically say. Prof Smith thanks for the help. Shell say for sure its my job blah blah come again any time. then you definately say I loved talking to you besides. we would want to always have a drink sometime and proceed our communique. Shell say definite or no way you little teenybopper of a guy. Youll get an answer. If she says definite then you definately can say best, what evening might want to be top for you?

Answer 6

What a bad day! Who knows what lurks behind people's minds when they say such things, look at it this way you know where he works now right? You could always report his behaviour to the school, I'm sure they would not care for one of there outstanding teachers, to be adding their school name to such comments. He sounded way uprighteous, and belittling. Why was it your job to do what the other waiter was suppose to do in the first place? Did he say something to them also?

Answer 7

YOU SHOULDA SAID:

HEY PROFESSOR, DO YOU THINK YOU'RE EINSTEIN OR SOMETHING? I BET YOUR ONE OF THEM STEPHEN HAWKINGS OR RICHARD FEYNMANS? YOU KNOW WHAT!? WHY DON'T YOU GO INVENT SOMETHING USEFUL IF YOU'RE A PROFESSOR OF ENGINEERING, OTHERWISE GET OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I REAM YOU WITH YOUR OWN DICK.