Do you call it nosey when you snoop in your 15 years old son profile?

Question

Tonight my husband call me nosey, because I spy in my 15 year old son profile on myspace, I was hurt what he had said, but he is right. what do u think about the whole thing? and why? I dont want him to think I look at his, because I really would'nt. I love him to much. I'm just scared for my son. I really feel bad about this. How would you act?

Answer 1

Yep. That's pretty nosey.

Answer 2

It's fine if his profile is public. If he has made a private profile and only his friends could veiw it and your finding one of the various ways around this privacy and without his permission, that is snooping. It's the same thing as your mom reading notes you've written back and forth with your friends during a boring History class with your friends when you were 15. If it's a public profile, go ahead and look, but you should ask your son to show you. Tell him that you know he has myspace. Really though unless you are computer savy, if he was trying to hide anything he does on the internet from you, he could do it very easily.

You should know that it is the nature of a teenager to be secretive and just because he's not willing to show you something doesn't mean that you need to freak out and go all protective mommy on him. He'll lose his trust in you especially if he's not doing anything really bad and you only have a few more years until he's an adult and by then it would be nearly impossible to gain his trust again.

Answer 3

I would call it nosey, but that doesn't automatically mean it is wrong. Having been a teenager when the internet was really becoming big and now being able to look back on it, I would suggest that you snoop when there is reason to. Too much time online can be one reason, but so can calls from people you don't know where he seems to want to keep that private, changes in mood (although that could come from more than internet immersion) and other things. To be quite honest, I think as long as at least one parent has the respect and mutual trust from the kid, things will be fine. Now if this were a girl, my answer might be different.

Answer 4

I think you and your hubby should talk about this more. #1 cuz he is making your feel bad for being concerned about your son! If I had a child...I might do the same. #2 I don't think it is "nosey" it's caring for him and his well being. Your hubby should be a little more concerned. (I think) He shouldn't make you feel bad so if you talk to him about your feelings a little more...maybe he might understand why you want to "spy".

I am 30 and am on myspace also. I have a friend who has a 15yr old daughter on myspace. If she took the time to look at it she might learn something about her cuz she portrays a more innocent person but when you see her myspace it's shows a little less innocence. Although maybe I should feel bad for not tellin her to look at it...but I did mention myspace to her in hopes she might get curious about it. The stuff I noticed for this child was stuff like the use of language etc...but it can show you a little more about your child and in this day & age I feel it is important. For my 17 yr old brother I think his site shows stuff like his "depression" which is a major concern too!!

I remember what I was up to at age 14 and if my mom had been more involved w/me and my actions....maybe some of it could have been prevented!

But then again..this is just my opinion : )

Best Wishes!!

Answer 5

In truth,

no I do not, I am certain that everyone will have mixed suggestions considering your topic.
But in truth, do we as parents do enough to protect our children; not just from the mistakes that we have committed in our youth, but the severity in the mistakes that children may make in this day and time can grave.

I guess those that have posted their opinions on your page indicating that you are being nosey has forgotten that some teenage girls were just sexually assaulted from meeting individuals off of "myspace",something that probably could have been avoided if their parents took a more active role on what they were doing and speaking about, obviously the same individuals have forgotten that a young man of 15yr's old was just reiunited with his family after being abducted, obviously these people forget that there are those who wish to do harm to children dispite their age.

So are you being nosey, no, you are being a parent, just like me. I have two boys of my own, and they both know not to think of me as a friend, because I am not their friend and nor will I ever be. I am their father, and what does that mean? That means that there will be times that I will have to make decisions on their behalf for their well being in every aspect that they may not like, or wish to except. But that is where the parent part comes in, a friend can not do that, but a parent can.

Personally I have a program installed that allows me to know what web sites they have been to, what chat groups and the transcript for what was spoken about in the chat rooms, as well as email.
People can say what they will about me, but one thing is certain, I love my boys, I trust them, but that does not mean that I will not protect them, even if that means protecting them from themselves and the mistakes that they can make.
Help your husband to understand this, remeber,,,not a friend, they will gain enough friends in life, be their parent and every thing that comes with that responsiblity.

Michael.

Answer 6

I think you are a concern parent. Good for you! Some parents don't care or even check on their kids. I believe 15 years old needs supervision, someone to watch over them. You are still suppose to be a parent and be responsible for your child until the age of 18.

Now if they were 18+, that would be snooping because they are considered an adult and if you raised them right you should trust them.

Answer 7

Not at all! I am 43 and I have a 23 year old. I should have started snooping more when she was younger. My God, when I was 15, I was not even aloud in my parent's bedroom, and we had one telephone and that was in the kitchen. No secrets. There is way too much communication via electronics with kids and the world today to not be monitored. And who better than a parent? The FBI is doing it - why shouldn't you. Way to go Mom!

Answer 8

Here's what you should have done instead: asked your son to show you his profile, out of the blue.

If he had something to hide, he would be reluctant; if not, he would have shown you.

Here's the thing, though: that profile is available to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD ON THE INTERNET. Going through his email or IM logs is snooping; visiting a page on which he publicly shares information about himself to strangers is not snooping.

Still, as I said before, it would have been better if you were up-front about it, asking him to show you voluntarily -- especially because, 15-year-olds being 15-year-olds, he probably knows how to figure out what sites you've visited, and so probably knows (or at least suspects) that you've been looking in.

Answer 9

no i call it being a good parent. The net isn't safe anymore and kids don't always realize that, so as a parent you must do your best to keep them safe and see what they're doing on-line. There's nothing wrong with what you did and if he should get mad then remind him of the number of kids who get hurt by folks they meet on-line or by providing too much info on their profiles which leads predators to find them.
You keep doing what you're doing and stop feeling bad. The only way you'd be going too far is if you steal his password and log into other things. But for now you're doing the best thing for him and though he might not see it like this now he'll thank you later.

Answer 10

I would do the same thing! There are so many dangers on the Internet and anyone can fall into one at anytime. It is always best to know what your kids are doing especially on the Internet. IT IS NOT BEING NOSY WHEN IT COMES TO KIDS, ITS BEING A GOOD PARENT! (Sorry bout the capitols)

Answer 11

you arent being nosey, you are only trying to look out for your son. you love him and dont want him getting into things that are too much for him