8 months after we fell in love, I moved in. Our sex life wasn't great to begin with. My b/f (53) was having ED problems. I love sex and have spent a lot of time learning to be the best lover I can be. I love him and kept hoping it would get better. I (42) felt like I was finally coming into my own sexually before we met. After I moved in, he stopped having sex with me. It's been 6 months now. He hardly kisses me unless I practically force him. He is having physical problems, and stress. He is rather selfish, because he hasn't cared what I wanted or needed. It doesn't take much to be nurturing to someone. Sex isn't everything, but I never opted for a sexless union. I'm hurt and angry and feel ashamed. I have been incredibly understanding and never pressured him or made him feel bad about it. He is definitely not fooling around or gay, so don't hint. How long do I go on when I am not happy, but feel bad if he may be ill? We get along great, I shared how I feel, he says he has no energy.
2007-01-31 16:19:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Very wise words. 'It is what it is'. Now that I think about it, he is not the one that is unhappy. He gets everthing he needs. Me doting on him. I feel bad about myself now and feel like I am dying inside. Everything is fine as long as I don't say anything or get upset about anything. He gives me so little, I guess I confused love with being in a peaceful relationship. But peaceful if I don't have any needs or wishes that is. I do love him so much, I just feel burned out about love now, and wonder if a man will find me attractive. I feel so depressed and empty.
2007-01-31 16:31:29 · update #1
If you are not happy maybe moving out will be best for now. Stay with him and see if you like this situation better. If you don't like it and still unhappy then maybe you should get out of it.
good luck I hope it all works out.
2007-01-31 16:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by tasha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My last relationship was similiar. At first the sex was great and then it was far and few between.... eventually non-existent. He said, after I just came right out and asked why, that he just didn't have the energy...worked nights now and we were on different schedules. That wasn't good enough for me, over time I became resentful. I would cry myself to sleep at times yerning for his affection. It's not that I base a good relationship purly on sex, but I do recognize that I'm a very sexual being and that's not something I'm willing to give up. After doing all I could short of getting down on my knees and begging for it, I asked him to leave. Since, I've been so much happier. It's not about being selfish, because you're not. He needs to be selfless. And he's not. It's a 2 way street here, and even with ED he should, and knows that he should, but won't for his own reasons, satisfy you. I would be really honest with him, tell him that you just can't take it any more, you need passion in your life and you want it with him or this wouldn't bother you so much & go from there... good luck!
2007-02-01 00:45:17 · answer #2 · answered by Just A Mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok everyone (guys and ladies) have moments of illness, depression, etc. My man right now is having some problems and we can't have sex. A new job and other life stresses have left him lately uninterested as well. But we talk about it and I tell him how I feel and what I need. He is affectionate in other ways and we know once he is well again we will be back to normal.
There is nothing wrong with asking for what you need.. physical as well. Have you told him this? Stop doting on him and put a little pressure tell him how you feel and that if he isn't interested in sex with you anymore you need to know. You can love him and care for him but he needs to do the same for you. If you feel empty and he isn't trying to meet your needs and understand your feelings too it is time to move on.
2007-02-01 10:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really sound like you start something that you really did not
take the time to get to know first. now you are seeing what the
deal is. i all way say you need to cut down the tree so that you
can see the forest. then you wil see what it really is not what you
want it to be. you and this man dont have the same things in
common and if you are so unhappy with this situation then do
something about it, he not going to change the change will
have to come from you one way or other. it may be time to
talk to him and let him know how you really feel or time to
move on.
2007-02-01 00:41:46 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they say - "you can't change a person". If he doesn't respond to a very loving and sweet conversation, then it looks bleak.
2007-02-01 00:26:22 · answer #5 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait. It is what it is. But don't blame him. He is who he is.
2007-02-01 00:24:35 · answer #6 · answered by g g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋