even when being confronted or caught in the act they still lie to your face. we have 2 beautiful kids and aside from the hiding of porn our marriage is great, but i dont know what to do. i love him and its the fact that he hides it from me..im not a big fan of porn though..i really hate it in all possible ways. there are so many times i want to leave him..what am i to do..he wont even go to counseling he says we dont need it.
2007-01-31 15:50:56 · 10 answers · asked by emO gUrl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
^ Wow, nice answer
I would say it isn't worth it to leave him. At least hold off till the kids are older if anything.
2007-02-01 09:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by ▪Ψ~ RZ ~Ψ▪ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving a marriage where there are two children over porn is silly. So what if he wants to look at a bit of porn, it's not going to damage the marriage, the only damage is the feelings you are bringing in with your reactions. Stop judging him for watching it and instead try to understand why he feels he needs to hide it. The reason he wants to hide it is probably because he knows how you are reacting to it and cannot understand what the issue is.
2007-01-31 17:06:14 · answer #2 · answered by Rabble Rouser 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear this. Porn is an addiction. Just like alcohol and drugs. Many men may want to stop, but the porn has a pull on them. There is nothing OK with pornography. Everything about it is wrong. The people doing it and the people watching it. Men do not just "look" at porn (for all you women who think so.) They fantisize and masturbate to whom ever they are looking at, putting themselves in that scenario. No, they are not physcially cheating, but mentally and emotionally they are. These images are burned into their brains from looking at so much of it. It affects marriages and withdraws men from their wives. Many men can't make love to their wives without having to fantasize about those women in those videos or images while in the act. Talk to your husband and hopefully he is willing to stop. Many men choose their habit instead of the family just because they don't know how to stop. Counseling may help. Good luck.
2007-02-01 07:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by gel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I honestly wish I had a way to instant message you about this! I have the same exact problem with my husband, and it is way outta control! I found locked up in a bag in his truck a huge duffel bag packed full of porn and magazines, and it disgusted me because I am not a porn fan at all. We also have 2 kids and one on the way, and I am still debating weather to leave or not because everything else is good as well. From personal experience, I can say that you really need to go with your instincts on this, it is not a easy choice to make. I am sorry I couldn't been more help, but you really need to make sure that he respects you how you want to be, and he needs to be given the automaton, my family, or my porn?
2007-01-31 16:46:43 · answer #4 · answered by sneekygirl69 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Face it men are going to look at porn in some form or another. They are visual creatures. If they are not looking at porn they are looking at other women with all these nasty thoughts in their head on what they would like to do with them. I am not saying it is right for him to look at it. If you say you do not like him looking at it then he should respect your feelings. He should not be looking at it due to the fact he has children in the house as well. It also ruins the computer. When telling the man to stop looking at porn sometimes that can backfire and can lead to wanting to look at it more. It is like going on a diet and having chocolate around the house and you cannot throw it away. It is rather sad actually but computer times has made porn so easy to get to. Talk to your husband and tell him how much it breaks your heart that he is looking at porn. Ask him to go to councelling with you to try to work on the marriage. You need to understand it is not your fault that he is looking at porn.
2007-01-31 17:31:57 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why women make a big deal out of porn. Its what guys do. Luckily my wife is cool with it, but , alot of my friends' wives trip really bad and threaten to leave them .Its fantasy and guys love fantasy and variety. Its better than cheating . We just like to look at different types, sizes etc of women. We don't love you any less. Why don't women get this honestly. WHY would he need counseling if he looks at porn....we all do it. If he needs counseling over porn then every man i know needs counseling because we look at porn and check out women when we are out. We are men. If you want something else, get a women or castrate him .
2007-01-31 16:51:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd try some solutions before leaving. I'd have a calm talk to my husband about his porn habit. Keep yourself in control, don't act accusing or upset. Ask him why he's looking at it - is he just curious? does he feel that the two of you are lacking something in your sexual relationship? Then I'd ask him to share some of the sites with you. Explain that you want to see what he's looking at so you can try to have a better understanding of it. Then try to come up with some sort of agreement that you both can live with. Maybe tell him that you'll accept him looking at a certain amount of porn, as long as he doesn't try to lie about it or hide it from you. If you feel that it's still too big of a problem, then seek out conseling by yourself.
Good luck!
2007-01-31 16:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you recognize what... I even have regarded at porn till now, besides the reality that it easily has lost its charm. and that i've got even been to the nudie bar. My spouse has regarded at porn, and my spouse has been to establish male strippers or maybe been to a strip club with me. In 20 years, i've got not cheated on her (actual) and that i've got faith she has never cheated on me. She has never gotten on my case if I regarded at a nekkid magazine or action picture or maybe observed a quite female. because of the fact our love is actual, there is not any jealousy. and that i think of that performs a great area in why it would not interest me any further. because of the fact it wasn't forbidden or punished in any way, there grew to become into no longer something that regarded interesting or constrained, i grew to become into able to establish it for what it grew to become into and it grew to become boring. I run for the period of something on the internet, and that i'm like despite, yet another intercourse internet site. Yaaaawwwwn. So bypass away it on my own and it heavily isn't an argument. If he cheats on then you that's no longer approximately pornography.
2016-11-23 19:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by bertao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should leave your marriage over porn. I think you should discuss this with your husband (don't get angry over it) and tell him how it makes you feel and see if you can come to some sort of arrangement. Us guys are visual creatures and watching porn isn't necessarily about wanting to have sex with another woman. Just want you to know from another guys point of view. Best of luck.
2007-01-31 16:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by jtgot1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't need counseling.. there is nothing wrong with porn ,but he feels he has to hide it from you cause maybe your nagging him about it too much..maybe is you told him that you were into it and want to look at a lot of it and watch pornos and try to convince him that you are really into it then he might decide he doesn't like it that much . and maybe if you tried to get into it .. there might be an upside to it ..it might even get your fires to burning but if you pretend to like it more than him..it might turn him off.. you never know what happen
2007-01-31 16:21:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋