Whenever my friend asks me a favor, i can't say no, even if it's like, "go buy me something" I can't seem to say no. I don't wanna hurt people's feelings. What should I do?
2007-01-31 15:42:15 · 23 answers · asked by Hello~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whenever someone asks me for money, i said no, then they said I was being selfish?
2007-02-02 15:22:42 · update #1
Well you can say YES... and then later, pretend you forget to buy that. "Oh, I was going to go to the store before I got home,
but ahh, I forgot. I'll get it tomorrow."
Then they won't ask you anymore, they will get whatever they want themselves.
2007-01-31 15:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by Jagger Otto 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Get used to saying no! It's good for you. I have this problem too a little bit, and sometimes I get too caught up in trying to please people. But you have to realize that pleasing people isn't always the best thing, either for you or for the people you interact with.
If what you are being asked to do conflicts with your other responsibilities, definitely say no. If it complicates matters, but can be done, weigh the consequences - don't complicate things unless you have a good reason. Don't just do things because someone asks you to do something - consider why first, if its a better reason than "I don't want to look bad," then do it - otherwise say no.
If they're your real friends then they'll still like/respect you even when you can't do everything they ask you. Friendship's gotta be give and take - you can't be doing all the giving all the time, and true friends realize that. If they start giving you hassle, it would seem that they weren't the best friends to begin with, and viewed you more as a friend of utility.
Do your best to let go. It's not easy, but as with anything it gets easier with practice. Being able to say "no" is a great mark of character, because it also tells people you know yourself and what you can/cannot do. They'll see you as being sincere.
2007-01-31 15:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by greyrider1000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I bet you get asked for sex a lot.
Obviously, nobody likes you. The only way people pretend to be your friend is because you do what ever they tell you to do.
Hopefully that hurt you. And I don't mind doing it, if you realize what you are really doing.
Go a whole week without being complicite with any of these requests. Just say 'NO", like Nancy Reagan.
Learn to love yourself.
2007-01-31 15:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by g g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya. I have some friends who like to use me too. But you have to know when to stop being nice and start being real. It's okay to do favors for you friends, but don't become a doormat. Try saying no a couple of times, if u lose that friend then they were just using you, but if they stay around then they are just a really needy friend. lol
2007-01-31 15:45:47 · answer #4 · answered by laangel464 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can't always be worry about what people might think. Whatever you do there is always someone that is not happy with you so, don't try to satisfy every one. If you don't feel like doing something,just tell them you don't wanna do it. If they are real friends or family members they won't be upset just because you didn't do what they ask you to do.Always put yourself first, then Friends and family.
2007-01-31 15:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by Cathy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's kinda like that first punch in your first fight, once you do it your set for life, don't worry so much about how people feel, people will always try to use you, if they know they can, it still happens to me and i'm 45 years old. BUT I have learned that I am a human being too, and I am the only one who is going to take care of me. ssssoo! the next time you start to feel guilty about saying no, think about what your doing, and if it feels in any way wrong, then follow through with the right thing, wether it be yes or no, if it's no give them a little excuse why if it makes you feel better...............................
2007-01-31 15:54:53 · answer #6 · answered by WURSTNGHTMARE61 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Grow a backbone Danny........you're not the world's doormat. If people are taking advantage of you, you have the right to say "no"...if they're hurt by this then they are no friend at all. A friend doesn't use another friend like a servant. You have rights and you also have a voice...use it and say no when you're not comfy doing what they ask.
2007-01-31 15:46:16 · answer #7 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your just going to have to tell them NO!!!! You do not want to be a doormat. Your friend should be your friend no matter what you do for them. If they stop being your friend because you did not buy them something then they are not your friend in the first place. Just learn to say no.
2007-01-31 17:34:22 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the library or book stores and get some books on Assertiveness and Communications. Read them over & over. Find a good friend to practice with and then you can begin to take control of your life. You must do it, otherwise you will get used over & over. Good luck.
2007-01-31 15:48:56 · answer #9 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
bluntly? grow a spine. but other than that..... i dont know. through time, you will be able to say no. but if you cant now, all you can do is work at it. maybe instead of no, start at "maybe later" or "not right now" or something. before long, you will be really good at making accurate excuses.
2007-01-31 15:47:09 · answer #10 · answered by ictoagsnstii 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋