Should I worry of my hubby inviting a girl across the street for a glass of wine in our house while I was work

Question

She is a young 23 yr old single mom that I have not met, because we just moved to our new apartment.

When I arrived home I saw the remains on two glasses of wine and I asked him if he drank any wine (we are wine drinkers), first he denied he drank any wine, then he admitted drinking only one glass with the neighbor, and after she left he finished the whole bottle. He also was very upset(very upset) that I would make such a big deal of him drinking a glass of wine with the neighbor.
I can't help but to feel a bit hurt and worried...
I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

The problem is not the fact.He had a glass of wine with the neighbor.It is the fact .He lied to you about it and tried to cover it up.When you add that to the mix.It makes it look he is trying to hide something from you.Is this your husbands norm...invite young single women..neighbors to your home ..for a glass of wine..while you are at work..lie to you about it..try to cover it up..become defensive..when you call him out on it..does he normally polish off an entire bottle of wine himself..If this is not your husbands norm..I would be worried about it too.Because if he is going to lie about an innocent glass of wine with the neighbor..What else is he going to lie to you about???If he wanted you to trust him..He should have been straight forward with the truth in the first place.

Answer 2

Yes, you should be worried that your hubby is an idiot. I would have washed the glasses and hid the bottle until I could have thrown the bottle out in the neighbor's trash. Then every chance I got, I would try to talk with the hot 23 yr old single mom, pretty soon I would be getting into her pants, and not needing to spend all my money on wine to do it.

Seriously, the fact that he lied if a BIG warning flag, he had something to hide. He got upset to place blame on you to take the spotlight off him. Ask your neighbor if she would like to come over for dinner with the both of you. If your husband was flirting with her, that will make him very uncomfortable. If it was just friendly talk, he shouldn't be uncomfortable at all......great test.

Answer 3

I wouldn't be worried........I'd be pissed off. He lied, then he got overly upset and acted like he'd been accused. Big HUGE red flag for you. He has no right inviting single 23 year old women in to drink wine while you're at work. Oh and...he drank the rest by himself....sure, and I'm Angelina Joulie. Sorry to be harsh, but your husband wasn't up to any good. If I were you I'd tell him in no uncertain terms that this kind of thing is unacceptable and the next time he cracks open a bottle, he can drink it while he packs his bags.

Answer 4

Yes, I would say you have something to worry about. The fact that he first denied drinking any wine at all shows that he was feeling guilty about something. It's not a reasonable thing for a married man to invite a single woman over to his place when his wife isn't home, especially one that his wife hasn't even met yet. Maybe you should invite her over yourself to get to know her and let her see that you are very much in the picture.
Good luck!

Answer 5

You should be worried on so many levels, the least of which is that she is a single 23 year old women.

Drinking, and denying it
Anger that you asked about it

When you can find a period of time "several day", in which he hasn't drank. Let him know you would like to talk, and ask him to listen. Tell him your concerns, and that you would like it if he would not have women over when you are not home.
It not going to help, but it will let him know that you still believe that there are right and wrongs, and that is wrong,

Answer 6

He's entertaining a female while you're hard at work, plus he's drinking wine with her. I liken that to a "date," and right under your nose in your own apartment.

If you tolerate this - you're a fool. He's putting himself and her above your feelings - that's no relationship.

He needs to avoid any contact with that woman and if she pursues anything he needs to tell her he's not interested.

You better keep on eye on this very closely. I'd get a voice recorder and put it in the house before you leave. That way you know what's going on. Put one in the dining room and one under the bed. One problem you may have it that he may be over at *her* apartment which will be difficult to monitor unless you enlist the help of a friend.

If he cheats or even so much as invites her over again, he's history.

Answer 7

Yes, I would worry very much. It is not appropriate. Explain to him if the shoe were on the other foot theory. What would he do if he was in your situation and came home to find you had brought a man(single) into the home u 2 share and had a glass of wine with him... He wouldn't like it i'm sure. Tell him you aren't comfortable and won't tolerate it...

Answer 8

Yes, you should be concerned. He wouldn't be so upset with you asking if he didn't have other intentions. He will deny till he turns blue and probably turn it around to make you believe it's your fault. Trust your gut feeling. He is wrong and if he cares, he won't let it happen again (I don't mean by making sure everything is cleaned up before you get home). Spend the day drinking with a single good looking man and see how he feels.

Answer 9

I would be furious if my husband invited a single woman over the house to have a glass of wine. I would be thinking he was trying to get somewhere with her besides just having a friendly glass of wine. Yes you should be suspicious. Yes you should of been upset. Do not allow him to put the blame on you because you think it is wrong. He was wrong!!!

Answer 10

I would be careful - because you don't know whose idea it was.
Either way though, i would be uncomfortable and how would he feel if you bought a man into his house, denied it and then admitted to drinking a glass of wine with him.

The fact that he was very upset may be cos he is upset with himself for whatever it is that he did or thought about doing