I was not the cause of the divorce i came in well after it was on its way. She has a 4 year old that I do not see do to the father disliking me. I am the bad guy in his eyes but like i said before i was not the cause of there divorce. I feel bad so i stay out of the way which sucks but what is one to do? She is very stressed and wants alone time or free time so what am I supposed to do? please help...
2007-01-31 15:23:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give her time and space. Having been through it myself I know what your g/f is going through and it bites! She's not herself right now...too much to deal with. If you're willing and patient then hang in there........if you're sick of it, move on, no one could blame you or her for any of it.
2007-01-31 16:03:08 · answer #1 · answered by Justlookin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my advice is let her know you are there for her. If she needs time, give it to her. She is going thru alot if a child is involved. Don't make her have to pick between u and her child. You'll lose....
As far as the child's father is concerned, right now you are doing the right thing by staying out of the way. If you push the issue, I can assure you she will see you as part of the problem and leave you. Time heals all wounds, she'll realize or won't what type person you are if you show her you care and give her her space to figure out this new life she has been given. It's a BIG change for all involved. Just wait it out...
2007-01-31 23:32:13 · answer #2 · answered by justright73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stop seeing this person until after the divorce, getting a divorce, and the devorce being final are two different things altogather..
You may not have started the divorce, but you may be the reasone that it continues to move forward.
Yea she needs time to think, your choices are easy to make compared to hers. Do the right thing, tell her you care, and to call when it's final. If you are man enough.
2007-01-31 23:36:43 · answer #3 · answered by brp_13 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like her, hang in there. It's a stressful time on her part as well, and especially on the four year old. Make sure the feeling is mutual between you and her, and respect her need for some alone time. I've been there, done that, and it's tough.
2007-01-31 23:28:34 · answer #4 · answered by Shey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to back out of the picture for a while - give her space and allow her to finish with the ending of this marriage relationship. It hurts to be alone - but that is exactly what someone needs when they are going through a divorce. How can she give quality time to you when her focus is elsewhere?
2007-01-31 23:28:21 · answer #5 · answered by Monkey Lips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, you have probably oversteped your bounds. Here's the deal; she doesn't need a lover as much as she needs a friend.
I have just been through a like situation. We started as friends because we both went/were going through a terrible divorce. Through our learning to talk to eachother as friends and getting to know eachother and helping eachother by providing that "shoulder to cry on" at 3 am when we couldn't sleep. Well, our friendship developed and progressed. BUT it was all done out of mutual respect and understanding. Yeah, I now love her madly and really would love to have her around for the rest of my life, but the initial motivation was friendship and nothing else.
2007-01-31 23:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by stratplayer1967 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea the woman who is married to my ex didnt cause our divorce either. but she put the nails on the coffin. i begged him to go to counseling and to give us all the effort in the world, and frankly noone can claim they are "trying" and yet dating other people! sorry but it doesnt work that way. so i'm a single mother of four kids under the age of 10. i had the right to fight for my marraige without an "extra" person in the mix telling my ex "it's over" and to "be strong and leave". give her husband the respect you would want, whether you think he deserves it or not. this is his marraige too, not just hers. and her having you around is alot more painful than what you think you are going thru!
2007-01-31 23:37:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The divorce should be finalized before she dates anyone... Let her have her alone time and space and let her breathe and have time to think.... If she has that time she might be better for it.... When her divorce is final then pursue her.
2007-01-31 23:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think you should give her space. If you keep stepping in, in the long run you will not be happy. I would find someone with no baggage. Sounds insensitive I know but..... Just be her friend for now.
Good Luck
2007-01-31 23:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like you need to ask her if there is anything you can do to help with things . the dad sees you as someone that will take his place in his 4yrs life . just let him know you would like to be able to get along with him for the kid sake. everyone forgets about the kids and how these things hurt them in the long run.
2007-01-31 23:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by southernangelforever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋