I have worked in bars for 16 or so years. I have been a Dancer, waitress, bartender, hostess, manager and not in that particular order. I also have MS which has been rearing its ugly head a lot lately. I had to quit working and even going to bars due to either my intolerance for drunks or my alcohol tolerance: it just isn't fun anymore. Since I quit, I have lost all but a couple of my friends. I do understand that bar buddies are not friends but several of these folks I really believed were for good. Well, I have been "T" (bar persona) for so long that with out her I feel boring and even a little unpleasant. I no longer crave gossip, parties, late nights, or large groups of people who know me. My sister says I am becoming a shut in. Is being alone, for once in my life, and enjoying my hobbies so bad? I can absolutely be in my house not answer the phone, the door, or talk to anyone for days. Am I becoming a shut in?
2007-01-31 14:55:25 · 10 answers · asked by majikmachelle 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
no. not necessarily. but you will become more acquainted with the you that is not invested in all of that extra-curricular activity.
you will be re-discovering yourself. and sometimes it will not be entirely pleasant if you have become dependant on the stimulations which have created the social you. though it do sound like you are not having that issue much. it seems as though you have accepted totally some course of MS.
how are you faring in this realization..?
i can recommend a good alternative health site (or two) if you want to take up a hobby of life renewal investigations/applications.
think about it.
but don't worry about becoming a shut-in unless there is reason for you to be afraid of going out. it seems to me that you are simply re-discovering who you are. alone.
not a bad idea and i would recommend it for anyone.
be well
2007-01-31 15:13:41 · answer #1 · answered by noninvultuous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, probably.
I know I had a run in with the grim reaper myself and I found I isolated myself from my friends to an extent. You could be mildly depressed, I know I certainly was, and it took me a LONG time to get myself up and out again. I suggest taking the quicker route and seeking out a therapist, drugs as you know are something of a cop out so stay away from the meds, it doesn't sound like anything therapy, or a really good/supportive circle of friend(s) , can't help you deal with.
Whereas before I would eat/drink/hook up just about anything/anyone, I have become something of a health nut (sort of) and that has helped my health and attitude quite a bit - if not tremendously.
Many of my friends are still in contact but some are gone for good, they were good friends at the time but we just don't see each other as much since we're a little older and it was probably the case we were "enabling" or "using" one another in one way or another.
Good luck.
2007-01-31 15:07:14 · answer #2 · answered by Mark T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you , you have accepted that your illnesses have done you harm and now you are trying to stay out of harms way so to speak, Most people that visit with old bar friends have to wonder what the attraction ever was. So enjoy you solicitude and if it becomes to much you can always volunteer and find new friends
2007-01-31 15:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are growing up! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!
You have hung out at bars and been a dancer and want to make something of yourself!
Now, you have to find out what that is. Do you like art, writing, photography, cooking, music, mechanics, reading...?
Find your talents but you don't have to be alone in doing that. Find a new group that don't need to know about where you've been but where you are going.
Go online. Meet others.
But if you enjoy being alone, then so be it! Check out your local library - you can find lots of free books, movies, and CDs to check out and explore.
2007-01-31 15:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe for 16 years for that kind of work , you may have outgrown it laready and looking for something new to discover. I fyou enjoy with what you are doing now, go ahead but be sure to still have in contact w/ people whom u r comfortable w/. Don't be a hermit. Its not bad to be alone once in a while but don't linger there for so long '.No man is an island'.
2007-01-31 15:53:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a suggestion. A lot of the fun people you've found in bars have stopped drinking, too. You can find them at an AA meeting in your neighborhood. They're still nuts, just able to remember it better.
2007-01-31 15:18:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it sounds like you just need time to yourself and to find a new social circle. I also got bored of my drinking buddies and bar. It was just the same old thing over and over.
2007-01-31 15:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're spending some time getting to know and like yourself better. Who cares what anyone else thinks... what do YOU think? To me you don't sound at all boring. :) Your sister just might need a little time to get used to your new ways... don't sweat it. Just do what's right for you. :)
2007-01-31 15:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you had an awakening and are very smart. Good for you. You are on a self-discovery mission.
2007-01-31 15:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No........... you're learning what's important in your life and what's not anymore.
2007-01-31 15:07:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋