Should I forgive my MOM?

Question

I know that is a horrible question to ask. First off, I'm 14 years old. My mom argues with me until I give up. She has to always be right or she gets mad. She got my friends and I suspended from our school PURPOSELY. Everytime I apologize she forgets about it the next day. She shuts off my bedroom electricity for 9 HOURS if I do something she doesn't like. We have a bad basement, my sister and I are not allowed inside it but our washing machine is in there, so she does the laundry. She refuses to do my laundry but will do my sisters. She has turned my sister against me. She called me fat (I am 88 pounds) she called me a *****, worthless, and stupid. she accuses me of being a drug addict (which i am not) she blames everything I do on my anger. She told all my relatives from her side I was a horrible out of control child. She recently put me in juvenile hall just for a fight we had. (I got out a couple weeks ago) our fights get physical.
She has done so much to me. I am just confused.

I just have been thinking that until we see our situation eye to eye, I want nothing to do with her. Am I wrong?

My father is a drunk who walked out and I don't know his location. All of my grandparents are dead. My father's siblings are just like him.

social workers are in our house. they think I am bad because of juvenile hall. my mom keeps lying to them.

I shouldn't hit my mother when she once pushed me down the stairs? No offense, It's called self defense.

She had me arrested because she was saying stuff about my friends and calling me names. Then she started hitting me in the back of the head. So I go, "do that one more time and see what happens." She does it one more time so I slapped her in the face. I will admit it was a hard slap though.

Answer 1

Revision:
Well at first I felt sorry for you now I think your a spoiled brat. Maybe you do need the lights knocked out of you once in awhile to put you back in place. If you hit your mother she should hit you back, no question. If you call her names expect it back. You can not be a disrepectful like **** and get away it. Hope she teaches you your lesson.

Answer 2

It sounds like physical violence can escalate easily in your house - so you should stop it. If your mother tries to hit you, just get out of the room fast and tell her she has a problem but you don't want to have that same problem too.
She and you are engaged in some kind of struggle and you need to find some activity that everyone would approve of (just as an example, I'll give this suggestion - singing in a group or a chorus that practices a LOT) so that you have a distraction from all this conflict at home.
When there is a clash of wills, everyone thinks that they are right. Your mom is sending messages to you that she can make your life miserable if she wants to (for instance, she shuts off the bedroom electricity) as if you haven't got that message enough. You slap her when you're in a physical confrontation with her to show her that you're not going to control yourself or take any physical discipline from her.) In her mind, she probably thinks the physical stuff is just like spanking - except at some point, you have to stop.
I think she may have gotten you suspended from school PURPOSELY (again, she's showing that she can make your life miserable) but there is no way a school principal will suspend kids without reason. For that , you have to take the blame - you did something to earn getting suspended!
She's furious at you. She calls you a drug addict - and I know that has to be because you have done some drugs but you don't think you are an addict; not everyone who has ever done drugs was an addict.
She's reacting to the fact that you did drugs at all. Add that to earning a school suspension and she thinks she's got an out-of-control kid on her hands. Juvenile hall is the place to go if you do get physical with a parent... I hate to say it but she's got a good case for you being a problem child.
I know you don't think that. And you can't see ahead to the things that she can see ahead. One of the things you are thinking about, severing your relationship with her, is a fast trip to being alone and open to abuse, poverty and God knows what else. It would be the worst mistake you could ever make.
Your mom's got a big job raising kids alone. You're making her job even harder. Get on the right track! Straighten up! Back away from the physical violence! Do you know who I'm thinking about and who I think is going to benefit and be a happier person if you do thosethings? YOU! It will never make your mom's life easy, just easier. You life will be so much better, even if it takes some time, you'll be much happier.
And you'll have your laundry done. The rest of your life, you're going to be doing your own laundry (it's a crappy never-ending job) so enjoy while you're young, sweetie.

Answer 3

I had fights with my mom all the time until I moved out and believe me after that happened, we became more like friends. We get along perfectly (except for that ocassional disagreement) and it's a lot more relaxing and healthy. I know you are only 14 but try to find something similar. If your parents are separated, go live with your dad, or if you have any relatives around you ask if you can crash there for a few months. Now, make sure you are behaving the way you are supposed to, because what is the point of making any changes if you are the one creating the problems... good luck!!!

Answer 4

If everything you said above about your mom is true, then you need to speak to a counselor at school, because there are some major issues there. No one knows who is at fault... I'm sure her version is very different from yours, and you both need to sit down with a counselor and work this out.
I'm sure you're not 100% innocent (I know I wasn't at 14), but the turning off electricity and verbal abuse are not ok.
As a mom, I hate to take the child's side without hearing the parent's version... but just based on what you wrote, it sounds like getting into a foster home would be better than what you're dealing with now. Talk to your school counselor, please.

Answer 5

You for sure need to remove yourself from that situation.
Self ddefence is fine, but next time, dont hit her back at all, just try and get away to call the police. Whatever you argue about, try to be more agreeable unless shes unreasonable.
Speak to the people shes lying to and explain that you do not want to live with her and you fear for your safety. She is verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing you for whatever reasons.
Do not copy her behavior, tell the truth, and get your sister away from her too.
You mother might have a lot of issues she needs to work on, and you do too, you need to be separate from her, but once you both find yourselves stable, then you can be a family again.

Answer 6

Ouch. well youre going to get a lot of stuff but listen. If she is treating you so badly plz just go to the cops. Go stay with a friend. try and call a help hotline. And just ignore her. I realize that I am not in your situation and I don't know or feal what your fealing so i can only give you some advice. I would really reccommend getting a lawyer (they will most likely do it for free). Get it to court. Find somewhere else to stay and just ignore her. If this is no help I'm sorry.

Answer 7

Okey hunny, please take a DEEP breath. This is what you need to do NOW. Social workers are crap. They only belive the parents so they can get out of there and be done with it. What you need to do is get this all on video or tape of some sort. If no one still doesn't belive you, you need to just run away to a "project safe house" shelter. I know that is something really big for a girl your age, but hunny, you deserve better. If she ever hits you, get out of that house by any means nessicary and go to a neighbors house and call the police. If you have to run a few blocks to get to someones house, anyones house, do so! But you need to get out of ther!!!

I don't know you personally, but you are a growing young lady, who doesn't deserve this treatment! You are not worthless, you are not stupid, you are NOT fat and i think, you are not a b*tch. (or wh*re..not sure which one ya typed!)

Just pack a bag and get to a police station, a friends house, a shelter something! And do it NOW.

Answer 8

She sounds like a skitzo. Maybe you should ask her about getting into some kind of counseling together...it sounds like you two have a lot of issues. My mom is kind of the same way...i moved out ASAP...sometimes thats all you can do. ust wait untill its legal for you to leave and then LEAVE. But try to keep things at bay in the meantime. If you feel abused by her then you need to report it to social services...if they don't listen to you then tell someone at your school...like the principal or counsiler. if THAT doesn't work then tell a trusted friend or a friends parents and ask them to report the abuse. I know sometimes social services doesn't like to listen...i've been down that road. If you need any help feel free to email me: [e-mail]. Thats also good for yahoo messanger if you have it. My ears are open and I will do whatever I can to help ya;) Btw I'm 18 (and a girl) so i'm in that same age range and I can relate to you...im not some 45 yr old lady with 10 kids lol. later

Answer 9

I do not think that you are right or wrong. There seems to be a big problem. Is there any adult at school that you can talk to--an adult anywhere. You need someone that you can talk to and relieve you of some of your frustrations.
Sounds like you both need some counciling but I feel sure she would not agree. I am so very sorry--don't know what I can do though.
Good luck in your life.

Answer 10

If you have any bruises on any part of your body, go to your teachers. And try to make peace with your sister so that she can tell the police she's a witness to everything your mom has done to you. But the answer to your question is, yes, you should forgive your mom. I know it sounds a little weird in your case, but just forgive her. Then all your problems will go away. Just pray, sweetie.

Answer 11

The soreness and anger you're harbouring approximately your mothers scientific care is comprehensible. there's a small newborn interior you nonetheless feeling harm and wounded due on your mothers strikes. at first i think you're able to communicate to this newborn interior of. you're a grown guy now and you're able to be able to convenience your inner newborn. The letter theory is amazingly clever to a pair human beings; in many situations writing your thoughts with reference to the region down permits you to artwork by way of it. As for speaking to you mom concerning the way you experience ..... this actual relies upon on what sort of courting you presently have together with her. If it has better by way of the years, then all nicely and stable. even nonetheless, maximum folk hate exchange and that i doubt no count in the experience that your mom has replaced that plenty. the only genuine peace and determination you will get is from your self. you're able to realize that your mom would not have the flexibility to relinquish you out of your soreness, basically you have that power. in case you assume your mom that might actually assist you type by way of your soreness related to her behaviour then all you would be doing is handing all your power to her - it is the flexibility she as quickly as had once you have been a newborn and seem what she did with it then. stable success