My boyfriend and I have been having problems for a few months. The problem being he doesnt know if he wants to be with me any more. At times he does, at times he doesnt. Anyway, a few weeks ago after a massive arguement, he kept texting and calling and even crying until I'd take him back. Then he told me he wants to marry me. Everything was going well between us for the while that followed and then he decided he didnt know what he wanted. I dont think we spend enough time together on our own, do you think this may be a factor in his inability to make a descision? When we try to finish it doesnt take long for us to get back together again. We just cant do it. But, at the same time, if we go out and another guys expresses an interest, he starts a fight with them and says "shes mine". He doesnt know what he wants and he knows I wont wait around forever.
2007-01-31 12:21:03 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The only qustion i can see in all this is are you spending enough time alone? I don't think that comes into it - he's unable to commit. That won't change if you spend more time alone.
With the continued pattern of on/off in your relattionship, and you taking him back all the time, he's unlikely to change.
2007-01-31 12:28:37 · answer #1 · answered by Star 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I got to about the 4th sentence and I already knew what I would say. Forget about him. If he even begins to think he doesn't want to be with you anymore, he's not worth it. To be happy in a relationship, or marriage for that matter, it has to be true love, espescially for marriage and if you're older than jr. high and high school. But let him go. He doesnt sound like a very good man. I know it may be hard, but no matter how many times he cries and begs, just remember how annoying it is when he can't make up his mind and when he hurts you by saying he doesnt know if he wants to be with you or not.
Hope that helped.
Good Luck
MC
2007-01-31 12:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by Melody C 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This does not sound like a good relationship,fighting arguements breaking up. I would really move on because you can do alot better. Or maybe you both need to see other people to find out if you really had something special. Life is to short for ALL that.
2007-01-31 12:43:17 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's either afraid of being alone, or he's interested in another girl, then finds out she's not interested in him so he wants you back.
Like other people have said, if he's not sure, then what that really means is, he does not want to be with you. Give it up as a lost cause and focus your energies on someone who can be involved with you in a healthier relationship.
2007-01-31 12:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He tells you what you want to hear and keeps you on a yo yo
of emotion. He may be getting a kick out of this relationship...
This will not go away or change.
Dump him. Can you be married to someone who will act this way
when you are married , he may be a control freak. run girl run do not look back do not stop there are better men out there.
2007-01-31 12:48:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like a rocky relationship, then there's nothing no one here can say to help. It sounds like a yo-yo game.
I want you - I don't - I want you ...
If you want a more steady relationship, need to tell him how you feel about the mixed messages, emotions and how they are not for you. Maybe he will understand (but in most cases, it's a cliff hanging game and they can't break out of it)
2007-01-31 12:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by Cathy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've already waited too long. Don't take him back on promises, have him name how things will be different. If he says he wants to marry you, don't live with him til you see a ring. If he's drinking, don't get back with him til he's been in AA for awhile. You know his behaviors, get him to demonstrate he's already changed.
2007-01-31 16:24:33 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a confused Mommy's boy and you indulge in self destructive head games. He jerks you around and you come back for more.
Maybe counselling before marriage?
Sorry Love, you did ask.
2007-01-31 13:19:08 · answer #8 · answered by Knuckledragger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HONEY HE IS AFRAID OF LOOSING YOU YET HE IS AFRAID TO MAKE A COMMITMENT.
THIS IS VERY TYPICAL IN A MAN. US WOMAN WHEN WE WANT SOMETHING WE GO AFTER IT AND NOTHING STOPS US UNTIL WE GET WHAT WE WANT, AND I MEAN THIS WITH ANYTHING WE WANT OR DESIRE IN OUR LIVES.
WITH A MAN IS DIFFERENT. MANY THINGS THEY START ANALYZE AND WHEN THEY START THINKING OF THE RESPONSABILITIES THEY HAVE TO GO THRU THEY TEND TO TAKE ONE STEP BACK AND WAIT .... I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY HELL THEY WAIT FOR ... LOL
ANYWAY YOU SHOULD TAKE ONE STEP BACK AND LOOK WHAT HE IS DOING. IF YOU CAN NOT WAIT FOR HIM TO FINALLY SPEND TIME ENOUGH FOR YOU BOTH TO SEE WHAT YOU HAVE THEN IS TIME TO MOVE ON.
2007-01-31 12:40:51 · answer #9 · answered by ââ¢Â¥*~áƦ~NYSunrise~áƦ~*ââ¢Â¥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He wants to waste your time,move on with your life,who knows maybe you are missing good chances outside.
2007-01-31 21:56:56 · answer #10 · answered by peedee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋