My husband and I have been 2gether for 10 years. We have 2 kids. I have lost 4 pregnancies. I am slightly overweight but I am still a hot looking redhead, at 32, I am dying for some recognition from my husband. He works 4 10+hr days a week. He's always tired. I chose to put off a nursing career for our kids, soccer mom stuff. Laundry done dinner ready. Dinner is always um, ok. I dont look pretty unless I ask him. Since there is no intention of another failed pregnancy on my part, he isnt that interested in sex, which means-me. We dont go out, ever. He hunts, fishes, has a guys dream life. I have suggested divorce, he swears he loves me, he is just not affectionate. On occasion, there are sparks. He is my best friend, emotionally he has been my rock. When hes gone if feel like someone unplugged me and when he comes home I feel like Ive been plugged back in. He would never cheat. How do I make him understand I need to be fussed over?? I am a Leo, ATTENTION PLEASE!!!
2007-01-31 12:16:14 · 8 answers · asked by notso_recoveringwino 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to ad that I have talked to him about this, and he d tries, but most times I feel like I am asking a mechanic to fix my dishwasher. Like, I am speaking in a foreign language.
2007-01-31 13:16:13 · update #1
I should let you know that I am 5'2" and 135lbs as apposed to the 112 I was after my 4th loss. Also, I actually bath twice a day 4 days a week after a volleyball game, yoga, pilates and basketball with the boys. As for down there, I am well groomed and I do take care of myself. You must be in your teens to come up with a comment like that ikkipoopoo
2007-01-31 14:09:29 · update #2
sorry, thats ickyfoo..anyway, legs are even shaved, I have a brazilian wax, manicure, pedicure, youre obviously not married so you dont get it, jackazz
2007-01-31 14:11:45 · update #3
It is normal for a guy to want to hang around other guys instead of his wife. I think you have invested too much of yourself in him. Find out what makes you happy with your free time. As for the sex, I think you guys should look into a permanent form of birth control, i.e., vasectomy. I bet he hates condoms but worried about the idea of someone cutting "down there". He will find out that it is a simple nearly painless procedure that will benefit him for years to come. Make sure you hint about how great it would be to have sex anytime, anywhere without worrying about getting pregnant.
2007-01-31 12:31:37 · answer #1 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this happens in alot of marriages. I'd sit down with my husband and have a calm, rational talk about it. Tell him that you're worried the spark is going out too much these days. Ask him what his daily worries and stresses are. Maybe there's things bothering him that you don't know about, especially at work. Tell him that you want to come up with a plan to put keep the spark going.
Maybe set aside a special time each evening for talking about how your days went. Maybe once a week go out and do something alone together - a movie, a walk, etc. Explain to him that you realize he has a hard time showing affection, but that it's important to you. Ask if he can think of any way he can show you more affection. Maybe he's just never given it much thought before.
Good luck!
2007-02-01 02:23:13 · answer #2 · answered by Ruby V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely read the book "The Proper Care and Feeding Of Husbands". Or at least visit her website. He's not going to give to you until he feels appreciated & accepted. Start thanking him for doing little things. Let him know he's loved & ASK him for things. He's not psychic & doesn't know if & when you need him to be more encouraging or loving. But first, build up his stability, I know you're feeling like he's not doing his part in the relationship & don't want to build him up more since you're the one that needs it. You've focussed a lot of energy on resenting him for not knowing what you need. Basically you're pissed off that he's not psychic. It's been 10 years & he's still not psychic. Make him feel valuable. Make him believe that the things he does for you are important & he will want to do more. Eventually, he'll be doing you favors & appreciating you all on his own.
2007-01-31 21:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by aussie_gurl118 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you're a leo? That must be stupid-f*ckin-female speak for "its OK to be high maintenance". Who are you kidding? You are "a little" overweight? I'll bet money you are a nagging, sweating house-frau with poor personal hygiene. When was the last time you shaved your hairy tree trunk legs?
Not since MLK day at least. You didnt put off nursing school, you chickened out. And you want someone to blame it on. Your husband will be leaving you as soon as a better offer comes along (if it hasnt already). Any woman who says "He would never cheat" is living in denial full-time. Good luck raising those kids on your own.
2007-01-31 21:36:19 · answer #4 · answered by ickeyfoo 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him exactly what you said here...but keep in mind, if he has always been this way, it will continue. If he has changed dramatically in the last several months or years, then you need down and really talk about it - and work something out to where you are both satisfied.
2007-01-31 20:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Read a book i reading now, its called "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard F. Harley Jr. Great GREAT BOOK. you will learn what makes a man tick. its ago giving and taking. You also have to find out of your slight over-weight bothers him. Ask him if you are fulfilling his needs. ask him what you can do to rock his world. I wish you the best.
2007-01-31 20:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by bipyramus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st smack him in the head with a book--then sit him down and tell him again! if this fails head for the marriage counselor together-----am a guy and I must confess we are dopes sometimes---sorry
2007-01-31 20:29:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why don't you tell him what you just told a world of strangers..
2007-01-31 20:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋