He is 49 and has been out of his marriage for 12 years. From the first day he and I went out she found fault in me. She had an affair on him and has been living with this other person but left him 2 times for other men. Sometimes they all have tea together. It is as if she wants to have control over him and I do not understand this. He and I are actually not together any more but recently have rekindled our relationship, slowly and I am concerned that she will once again belittle me to him with no good reason. Why would an exwife be this way.
2007-01-31 11:53:00 · 12 answers · asked by wandy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she's just being mean, and doesn't want him to find happiness. also, she could be jealous. either way, it does not matter what she thinks of you. it's not her business. and she can say whatever she wants to, it's not going to change the way he feels about you.
the two of you just go on with your lives and be happy together. don't let a jealous ex ruin that for either of you.
and he really needs to set some boundaries with her. he needs to tell her that if she's only going to run you down, he won't be having tea or talking with her anymore. that probably wouldn't be a bad idea anyway.
Best Wishes, and keep your chin up!
2007-01-31 12:09:37 · answer #1 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bigger question is why would a man "have tea" with an exwife who has left him for other men. Guys want to be around women who want them. It boosts our ego. If you ask him not to see her, he'll do it behind your back and she will make sure you find out. Let him know that you are uncomfortable with him seeing her and would like help understanding the relationship. Either the two of you will come to an understanding or he will stop seeing her. The most important thing would be that HE called things off on his own when he finally comes to his senses.
2007-01-31 20:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by jax0817 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a very controlling woman and she doesn`t want to let go even though she doesn`t want him she wants no other woman to either. Tell this man if the two of you are going to have a relationship then his ex-wife is to be out of the picture. If he does not agree then tell him to take a hike. You don`t have to live like that. There are nice men out there. WISHING YOU LUCK
2007-01-31 20:10:04 · answer #3 · answered by mammafran77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your husband doesn't have the s@ck to put her in her place. I understand the whole ex thing. But the truth is, he's letting her do it. It's almost like he's scared of her. Unless he puts his foot down, I can GUARANTEE that she's not going to change.
I hope you insist that this is cleared up before you make a solid committment to this guy. You will be going down the same road unless he insists his ex treat you with respect.
Personally, I've seen this trait in many men, most of them macho, burly men. I don't get it.
2007-01-31 20:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the ex doesn't want him but doesn't want anyone else to have him. she finds fault because she is jealous. but he has a choice here, why would he allow someone who cheated on him, ruined the marriage to control him? if he is going to be like this, u need to distance yourself from him. his ex feels she must always be in control of everything, and looks as if she is allowed to do it.
2007-01-31 20:08:25 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt be blaming her. He is the idiot who sits on his duff letting it happen. Why would you want a spinless creep like that anyways. Dump the looser. Maybe they need to get back together so she can smack him around, and he can snivel in the corner. She is a jealous, mean *****.
2007-01-31 20:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question I would be asking is why he would put up with her ?
What is the connection after all that time ? Is it Children??
I wouldn't want to be in his life if she had a hold on him.
AND SHE DOESN"T ~~~UNLESS HE ALLOWS IT.
Good luck to you !!!
2007-01-31 20:22:50 · answer #7 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to him to cut the ex apron's strings and move on with his life, even if there are children involved. You need to think this through and if he need her approval to be happy, something is fundamentally wrong with him.
2007-01-31 19:58:54 · answer #8 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your concerns are vaild, the ex will do the same thing again. He'll allow her to.
2007-01-31 19:59:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, apparently he lets her or he gets something out of it.....if he didn't want it, he would have taken care of it a long time ago.
2007-01-31 20:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋