Which species of monkey is the best to adopt as if it was a child?

Question

I want children but I though why wait 9 months when I could just get a monkey and raise it as my child and heir. So whic species of monkey will suit this purpose best?

I will bequeath my monkey child my collection of Doctor Who books and DVDs and my collection of heavy metal and folk music. Plus the royalties from my novel when I finish it.

Answer 1

A a toy monkey is your best bet, that way you won't have to worry when you tire of PLAYING mommy. Animals are analgous to children in only one I can think of, they are at the mercy of the adult human world in which they have little or no power or control. Forcing an animal or kid to fulfill your emotional needs is just plain wrong and in this day and age it's an obvious sign that one lacks emotional maturity.

Answer 2

In some states they are illegal. Although the previous answer is right, there are a lot of things about monkeys most people are not aware of. Firstly, you cannot have just the one, these are social animals, and suffer great psychological stress if kept alone. Secondly, they cost a ton. And not just to buy. Marmoset gums and monkey pellets are not a complete diet, they need a broad range of food and are expensive to feed. They also need access to UV, preferably from natural sunlight which means a large, secure garden enclosure. You can provide UV lighting indoors. But you will need a cage. Leaving a monkey to run around your home will end in disaster, they will hurt themselves or you with electrical sockets, sharp things, anything remotely dangerous. Monkeys can rip light wire apart so you're looking at heavy duty wire of the sort to contain large parrots. Where I am from no-one would be allowed to house a capuchin in an enclosure less than 18 feet long. Do you have that sort of room? You'll need a custom build enclosure and it will cost thousands. Then there's the aggression. Baby monkeys are cute, cuddly and so clingy. Once they hit sexual maturity they get aggressive. Even hand reared monkeys (and hand rearing is very cruel and damaging to the monkey, by the way), communicate partly through aggression and small monkeys can still do a lot of harm. Capuchins require a license in my country because they are considered dangerous. You might not think so, but they have strong hands and powerful teeth, they have the ability to wield weapons, and they have the smarts to know how to hurt people, where to hit them to hurt the most. Monkeys have a track record of going for your face, your eyes, your genitals. They rub pee and poo all over their hands, you'll get this all over you. They masturbate openly in front of people. Their poo is VERY human like and stinky and NO you cannot keep a diaper on them all the time. I would think very carefully about this. Most people keep their monkeys until they hit sexual maturity them dump them off on an exotic animal rescue because they cant deal with it. Monkeys are a full time job, forget having a holiday again as pet sitters dont have the experience for monkey care. And capuchins can live 50 years. Its a huge commitment. In most cases its not a good idea.

Answer 3

No species is a good pet. I can tell you some terrible stories of monkey pets and owners turned bad. One here locally that I recall is of a lady who owned 2 spider monkies. They were very attention seeking and like her own children. They slept with her in bed too.
After she got bitten by one or both of them once too often she didn't even think of a sanctuary, she just got them put to sleep. If you want the experience of working with a child, volunteer somewhere like a hospital or daycare or at a school. Most places want volunteers to be screened and have a crimminal background check these days but that is nothing, to do something you might love or dislike later.

Answer 4

Money's carry many different diseases, some you can catch just by touching them. Do a lot of research first, and also consider all the vet bills. You will need a special license to own a monkey.
(They also throw their own poop at you.) Are you sure about a monkey?

Answer 5

Do you have the necessary maturity and experience to properly train (classical conditioning techniques) and care for a monkey? Have you successfully trained a dog, for example? Monkeys bite! Rethink this carefully!!!

Answer 6

Think it over, monkey could be more demanding than a child.
How would you get a baby sitter, what about pre-school.
Does monkey require private or public education?
Out of interest, what are you leaving for your heir,if you rich then i can get you a monkey...

Answer 7

A chimpanzee, then you could train into a ninja monkey in the deadly arts of kick-***!

Answer 8

Try Homo Sapiens. They come in very cute collors and with a great variety of facial characteristics. You can train them to do stuff, they look good in clothes, they can eat whatever you eat so no special diet for them, you can take them to the same doctors you go, and you can even teach them how to speak....

Answer 9

None. Monkeys are wild animals. It will not turn out good for you.

Answer 10

a funky monkey