My ex wife probes me constantly about the details of my life outside of what she knows. I have a very bad relationship with her and I don't want to discuss any details because that opens a door for converstions. Well now my children are asking me questions about things because their mother has used their innocence to gather her info. I will tell them anything (if it's appropriate) I just don't like the hidden plot and the fact that they are put in the middle. She doesn't care what I say to her, so what can I say to my kids about this?
2007-01-31 11:15:39 · 15 answers · asked by James J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That type of behavior is immature & damaging to the kids. Doesn't she understand that your business doesn't concern her anymore? That's probably the reason you divorced her in the first place!!
2007-01-31 11:23:49 · answer #1 · answered by chevy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your kids ask questions it's best to answer them honestly unless they are asking inappropriate questions or are too young to understand the answer.
Your wife is being disrespectful to you and your kids. She's your EX and you don't owe her any explanations about your life (unless it has a direct impact on your kids) If you can't talk to her, write her a letter and explain that you are not willing to sacrifice your children's innocence to satisfy her curiosity.
My husband's ex thought we were trashing her (we weren't) and hired an attorney who sent us a letter stating we had better stop bad-mouthing her because it put the child in the middle. Meantime, she's pissin' and moanin' to the child about how we don't do enough for him.
I feel your pain. Ex's can put a lot of stress on everyone, you, your kids, your new significant other (if you have one) and for some reason, they usually get away with it. Hang in there. Be the bigger person. Recognize that she's probably one miserable biotch!
2007-01-31 11:28:27 · answer #2 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG....now thats pathetic. She needs psychological help honestly. But....for the question at hand......I would explain to them that some things are better left unsaid, and do as you are doing with telling them limited details pertaining to your life. I would also confront the ex regarding this ordeal, and tell her if she doesnt stop using the children as a bridge to your personal life, you will see how a judge likes the idea of her using her children for info into your life instead of having the childrens best interest at heart.
She sounds obsessed and completely miserable and wants to see if you are as miserable as she is. For this reason, I would definately boost my tales to the children to appear the best you can imagine. This will curl her toes. lol God, i can believe i actually told you to be childish like her. Perhaps you should skip that part, but isnt it tempting. lol
Anyway, good luck to you and best wishes.
I
2007-01-31 11:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my I have been going thru the same thing but with my ex-husband. I ask my son if his daddy questions him and when he said yes I called him up and told him to stop putting our child in the middle of it. This seemed to help for a while but it has started again so I try to change the subject or steer his attention onto something eles when questions arise that I don't want to discuss with him. I hope this helps you. Hang in there, it does get easier. Good Luck!
2007-01-31 11:27:43 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you know she is using the kids to get info and that is not right. They should not be put in the middle. Also, tell her that you are not going to tell them any personal information about your life any way. Maybe if she knows it won't work then she will stop.
Tell your kids when they ask you questions like that that it is none of their concerns and then quickly change the subject.
2007-01-31 11:46:20 · answer #5 · answered by purplemrskitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whem she became your ex-wife, she lost the right to know. Do not answer your kids. Just tell them that You understand the question and that you don't feel you should answer them. If they are really young ask them if mommy told them yo ask. Young kids are honest. Get their answer on a tape or voice recorder and then if appropriate play the recording back to your ex and tell her She lost the right to know.
I don't even know her and I hate her for doing this.
2007-01-31 11:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by Hot Rod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you ex that in the future if she wants to know something that she shouldn't put the kids up to it. Explain to her that she is being immature and teaching her kids on the wrong ways to deal with their own relationships in the future and that you feel it isn't healthy or fair to them. Then say if you have any future questions that she feels she needs to address that she needs to call you directly because you are no longer going to play her games with your children.
2007-01-31 11:27:41 · answer #7 · answered by Destiny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't answer their questions when they ask and say that is a private matter not to be discussed with children. You should not stoop as low as your ex-wife. Stay strong and don't let her get to you.
2007-01-31 13:50:10 · answer #8 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your paranoid......So what, if your children ask you questions, maybe they are the ones who are curious? You sound like my Ex....When my babies return from visitation with their Father, I dont ask a thing cuz to be honest I'D RATHER NOT KNOW !!! Yes they bring up things but what child wouldnt? Your visits are with your children, not to think of ways to get under your Ex's skin......
2007-01-31 11:38:14 · answer #9 · answered by Skinz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably jealous of you. When your children ask you question pretaining to your private or financial life let them know that it is adult business. You have the right to withhold information from your children when it involves money and your private life.
2007-01-31 11:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋