Marriage.. To be or not to be?

Question

Aside from religious reasons, What are the reasons to be or not to be married now a days?

Many people now say that they don't need that little piece of paper to state that they love someone, and that they are going to be with them for the rest of their lives... Do they have a point?

Is getting legally married necessary, or can you just stay together, have children and grow old together without having to say "i do"?

Thank you for everyones thoughts

The reason I asked this questions is b/c my boyfriend and I have been living together for nearly 2 years. We are right for eachother in every way, and rarely disagree on things, except for the topic of marriage.

His parents were divorced when he was 3 and he doesn't see the point of having a wedding. He thinks that its all fake, and that we should be able to spend our lives together without involving the government. I think that when he thinks of marriage, he also associates it with divorce and unhappiness.

It's odd, because he says, that if he were to ever be married, I would be the only woman he would marry. We have no other commitment issues, we talk about having children, buying a house together, the whole darn thing

Its quite a difficult situation for us to resolve b/c i don't want to push him into something he doesn't want to do, but I don't want to not do something that is important to me either. Why cant there be a middle ground for this??

Answer 1

I'm an older male, divorced, andI think that if you love someone, and want to spend the rest of your life with that person, then you should be willing to make that commitment to them. It's MORE than a piece of paper, it's an open acknowledgment to the world that I love this person, and want to dedicate my life to them. Now, yes, I'm divorced, but when I said "I DO", I DID! Things happen along the way,and there are divorces, but I was a committed husband. At some point along the way, I hope to marry again..."forever" next time! Marriage is the greatest institution that exists today!!

Answer 2

Yes you can, but why? That little piece of paper protects both of you. Say he's 50-60-70+ years. He has a stroke. He's on machines. He's told you he doesn't want to ever live like that. You know how he feels, but you're not his wife. You can't do a damn thing for him. Not all states recognize common law spouses. Marriage = security. That's sounds very cold, but that's the way our laws and government work. Think of health insurance, Medical benefits, Disability benefits, Social Security, retirement. This sounds very doom and gloom, but there's more. It's easier to walk away from a relationship when that little paper isn't involved. I've been married for 29 years. We've had a great life together. Raised 5 children that we are very proud of. We worked hard, had a couple of tiny bumps along the way, but neither one of us would change a thing. We could have done all that without being married, but if you love each other, why not be married? Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I think, you can do either - it's a personal choice. I'm not religious, so I would say I got married for a mixture of practical, emotional and social reasons. Practical - goes without saying; taxes, health insurance, car registration, joint gym membership, you name it. Emotional - there's something to be said for upholding your committment formally, in a ceremony. Social - marriage is still the only unambiguous way to communicate the couple's committment to the society; society in general doesn't do well with ambiguity - so, unless you're ok with having to answer for the rest of your life the stupid question of "so, why aren't you married yet?", might as well make it "official".

I personally don't have anything *against* marriage, so, for the above reasons in combination, it made perfect sense to me to get married. I don't think it's the *only* way, and I don't even think it's the *right* way - this was just what worked for me. IMO, being married makes it, in general, easier to function in society. Of course, it makes it harder if you decide to get divorced - but while I acknowledge that there's always this possibility, I'm not gonna live my life betting on it. I choose to bet on the positive.

Answer 4

It's up to the individual.
Personally, I think that not getting married is a way of saying, "I love this person, but just in case I don't want to spend the rest of my life with them, I'll have an easier out."
I'm not being mean, but when you're truly, madly, deeply in love, you want them to be your husband or wife.
I got married because I couldn't imagine ever making the decision not to be with my husband. We did live together for 3 years before we got married, so I understand wanting to make sure that person is "the one". But when you know, you know. You can't explain it any better than that.
And I LOVE saying, "Meet my husband." It makes me proud.

Answer 5

To a degree but what happens when you have to go to the Dr and the only one that has any kind of health insurance is your other half. what about the benefits that come with marriage..People marry because they love one another and want to be with them forever.

Answer 6

Well if you grow old with someone and have kids and one day your spouse dies ,you have no legal right to anything. I've heard about this same incident to many times before.