Should people stay for there children?

Question

Has anyone been in a situation where people stay married for there children? How was that relationship? Should people stay for there children?

Answer 1

We learn from our experiences. What experiences are you providing for your children as building blocks? The way they see you and your spouse interact is the way they are most likely to interact themselves. How a 5 year-old girl sees her father will be the mold she will carry with her when she looks for a mate. Is that okay with you? If it is, then so be it. If you separate, will you be able to create a stable home for your children? Stable in emotional needs. Will they feel secure without your spouse? More so than with your spouse present? Divorce is okay when it benefits the chemistry of the family unit by only disrupting it and not disintegrating it. Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I believe that you need to take the childrens emotional state into consideration. My wife and I just about went through with a divorce, and our 2 girls were an issue. I went to Iraq 3 years ago, and it tore the girls up. They are now 5 and 10. Seeing how they were affected by that time that I was away, really played a part in my feelings of divorce. So I would have to say yes it is worth it, the feelings you once had, may return. I don't believe that you just fall out of love with someone. It took time to get into love, and time to get out of love, give it a chance and maybe those feelings will come back. I also believe that a 2 parent home is better than bouncing from house to house after the divorce, because the kids always get played against the other parent, and that is not fair to them. Show the kids the love they deserve, and teach them that compromise is a valued trait.
Now if there is any abuse in the marriage, the answer is no it's not worth it.

Answer 3

I'm answering your question as to if people should stay together because of their children. My answer is no! Why would a couple stay together if they both are unhappy. That in itself is unhealthy and really unhealthy for the kids. Children see everything. No matter how old they are a seperation is going to affect them. The only difference with them being older is they might understand it a little better. I say if the couple tries everything in their power and they can not fix it seperate. Because your puting your children through your unhappiness.

Answer 4

Ok let me tell you my experience as an adult whose mother stayed with an abusive father. My father as I have now learned is probably a psychopath (by reading up on the symptoms and taking psychology courses). My mother said that she could not raise 4 kids by herself so she was staying with my father until her youngest was out of high school. I was her youngest and felt it was my fault that my mother stayed with my father for so long. I came to resent my mother for making me the reason that she stayed with my father. I did not talk to or see my mother for 8 years we have now been reunited for a year and a half and she is dying from emphysema. I have no contact with my father at all (not since 1992). Now, I am not saying that this is how all people feel when their parents stay together "for the children" but I felt like we were not important enough to get out of the situation. So please make your decision wisely and get your kids alone and ask them how they really feel and let them know that they will not get into trouble for stating how they feel.

Answer 5

No, I don't think its healthy for the children or the parents to just stay together for the kids. They can pick up on the hostility between the parents and in the end it will just hurt them. My aunt and uncle stayed married, but without love for many many years, just for my cousin's sake. Now that she's in her teens, they've gotten divorced, and she's now confused, and hurt during one of the most already confusing and sensitive times of your life.

Answer 6

Its a double edge sword.......You think its hard now, while your together, Try doing it alone with children, no help, no watching one child, while you take the other, overlapping school schedules, can find work that has hours to fit your needs of your kids, no sleep, not enough time in the day, and that is only 1 day, Its not
easy but it is possible?

Answer 7

Absolutely not. It just creates more frustration at home. Parent's fighting all the time all the while the kids are still at home. If you are that pugnacious with each other, it's not worth it. In the long run you will be happier. And what a child needs is a happy mother and father.

Answer 8

Every situation is different. Although, I do feel that people need to at least learn how to spell - for "their" children, to be the good example that a child needs.

Answer 9

people should stay for there children. if there is abuse in the marriage then no. just because one of the spouse feel like they don't love no more or there bored. they should of thought before they had kids. what gives them a right to walk out of there children's lives just because they what to find them self's. how dare they. after children you have the moral right to raise those children in not walk out. i know i was a person who stood with my husband for are son my sake in my husband cheating on me over in over. i didn't see that as abuse but it was. he did get physically abusive from time to time. but in time i realize with the help of education that it was worse for me to stay in teach my son in my other children that way of a life. so i believe if there abuse in the relationship leave or have that person leave in raise your kids. but if a person who just wants to leave because your only thinking of your own wants in needs your wrong to break up their home. it don't mean that you can't have alone time. a time and space for you every one deserves that.

Answer 10

I stayed in a bad marriage for my kids way too long. Once I finally grew the balls I needed to get out, my kids were much happier. Remember, your kids are learning how to be in a relationship. Teach them that it's ok to make changes when necessary. I thought it was important to teach my kids not to settle. They adapted vey well!