Being married for 2 and half years my wife went to visit her parents in Europe last year and spend 5 months there. When she returned she had open discussions with a close lady friend of hers about having an affair. She kept on talking about it until her friend had enough and told me about her. I confronted my wife but she said it was all an immagination story as her friend also had open discussions and only wanted to say things on her level. My wife had an affair before I met her and now I feel she might be living a double standard. I do love her but I feel I might be living with a false person.
2007-01-31 10:16:49 · 20 answers · asked by maleinaus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask her to take the Lie Detector test.
2007-01-31 10:22:59 · answer #1 · answered by Jagger Otto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one that can answer this really. You say that you love her and if you found out that it was true, how would you handle that? Do you love her enough to forgive her? Because you are unsure of this and may not find out the truth...you have to ask yourself, can I let this go?
Because she had an affair before she met you does not mean that she would do that to you. Then you have to ask yourself, how well can I trust the source, does she have anything to gain or is she jealous of your wife.
Sometimes you have to have closure with out having closure to be able to move on. Just for your mental state, I know that it can cause major stress, but If there was a time again after this, then it is unhealthy for you. Can you move on with out knowing? Marriage is special, and a big commitment- give and take I hope this works out for you two.
2007-01-31 18:36:55 · answer #2 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What to do about it now? You have choices, which we all do, believe in her, if you want your relationship to work, if not you will be miserable wondering all the time. Is this lady friend of hers the type to cause problems in your relationship? Does this lady friend have something to gain by devulging this information to you, or is she a real concerned friend? But it all boils down to what you beleive and what you can take. Your wife stands to lose in this situation too, so maybe talk to her again, and see if she can satisfy your concern on this matter. Let her know how much it is affecting your guy's relationship, because any time your wondering about a situation of an affair, it will effect your marriage.
2007-01-31 18:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by K_Seeks4Answers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
POLYGRAPH HER!
It is expensive i think? But, its worth it.
If she has a history of cheating, then I would highly reconsider whether you draw up some divorce papers. You want a disease AS WELL AS a bad marriage too?
(I didn't think so!)
I'm sorry that this has happened to you, but you HAVE TO KNOW that u, nor I, nor ANYBODY....has any power to CHANGE another person. If the gal is bent towards affairs, she is not likely to change. Use common sense and do whatever you can to get concrete proof.
PERHAPS you can have your friend "make up" with her, just long enough to place a hidden camera of her confession. Do what you gotta do man, emotions can heal, some STD's cant!
Wishing you well;
GOD BLESS YOU <><
2007-01-31 18:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by º§€V€Nº 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but she is probably having an affair. You can't trust her, really, especially with a history of doing things like this. But neither can you lay accustions on her without more evidence, because then its just back and forth pointless bickering. Watch her closely for awhile and then judge: Does she seem in tune with you and your marriage or is she just lost and distracted? Judge by the quality of your marriage and not by these accusations.
2007-01-31 18:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its all up to you what you feel and wont to do .I think you should have an affair yourself if you wont to keep her .All the talk in the world isn't going to help . Even better yet have a three sum with her and another girl let her know how it feels
2007-01-31 18:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly she is lying to protect herself, and avoid confrontation. but if she won't come clean with it, there is nothing u can do about getting past it, when she is denying it even existed. you have to make a choice, what to do with your life, and if u want to stay with her knowing that there is a good chance she is being unfaithful. when we marry someone, we have a right to expect to be the only one, but some people just have different morals, and belief systems, but since she is lying about it she must know it is wrong. doesn't make any sense that someone would make up a story, unless they are immature and childish.
2007-01-31 19:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"...she said it was all an immagination story as her friend also had open discussions and only wanted to say things on her level..."
She's BS'ing you. You have to force the issue and demad she talk about it with you.
2007-01-31 18:22:37 · answer #8 · answered by Bayou Boy in Tx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Euopean morality is very different from American morality(well at least it used to be...) Tell her its going to be hard to trust her anymore if she keeps telling the neighbors stories like that because it belittles you in their eyes. Of course you could always call her folks and ask them if she was out and about those 5 months :-P
2007-01-31 18:23:34 · answer #9 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel she had this affair and is being deceitful and lying to you about it..... take her on the Maury show and have her take a lie dectector test then the truth will come out....
2007-01-31 18:46:16 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋