Title: Dreams Are Places of Dangerous Tranquility
By a 14 year old girl.
In my dreams I go to a place away from the world
It is covered in white and everyone is silent
The trees are bare and lived in winter for so long
And no glimmer of sunlight has ever touched the ground
In it are fields of silver hay stacks and meadows of transparent grass
The roads lead to nowhere and the towns are abandoned
The trees that line these roads have carvings of empty hearts
With no initials to inhabit the lone shape that lingers on the bark
It rains sometimes in the my dreams
The droplets turn to crimson as soon as they touch my skin
The thunder roars are followed by the soft crying of a lost child
And the lightening strike always hit a nearby treetop so lone
And when it snows in my dreams
The flakes lands on the ground with such elegance
My dreams are a place of emptiness
And when I awake in these places
2007-01-31 09:59:41 · 8 answers · asked by Confused... 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I find that they reflect my life now
It shows me how alone and scared I really am
And how I walk this road called life
Without anyone walking with me
And when I will reach the fork in the road
Which way will I go?
2007-01-31 10:00:00 · update #1
If you like it, I will post more if you like =]
2007-01-31 10:00:26 · update #2
Every poem is worth reading hun, as everyone will take something different out of it. This is a good poem, you should join one of those online poetry communities where people post and preview original works...
like-
www.writing.com
keep writing and youll only get better.
2007-01-31 10:09:14 · answer #1 · answered by X-tina 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nice work. I like 'with no initials to inhabit the lone shape that lingers on the bark'. Very emotive!
Your line about the lightning doesn't scan very well. Perhaps you could say; And the lightning always strikes a nearby lonely treetop. Just a suggestion. Keep writing, you've got talent.
2007-01-31 18:30:15 · answer #2 · answered by miketwemlow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Terrific!! - ok, a little cleaning up still needed - flakes land, not lands, a couple of other small things like that which will take you only a minute to clean up - but your use of words and images is excellent... I think you have found a truly lovely way to capture a feeling that is somewhat universal and we can all relate to.. This is just good writing. - and not only good writing for a 14 yr old - good writing for anyone of any age..
2007-01-31 18:20:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
like? yes...
worth it? jury's still out on this one.
Who can judge the worth of another's work in progress?
Poetry is either liked or not. Style counts. Correct spelling counts. Content is the Author's.
2007-02-01 15:34:56 · answer #4 · answered by flowerpet56 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very good. Keep Writing!
2007-01-31 18:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by Scary Monster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it! cool
2007-01-31 18:06:14 · answer #6 · answered by Kdog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice.
2007-01-31 18:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i like it.
ALOT.
:]
2007-01-31 18:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋