My daughter is 7 weeks old and I am a stay at home mom. When my husband comes home from work he has a whole agenda that doesnt involve helping me or spendng time with the baby. Asking him to do anything is like pulling teeth. He is in bed by 8:00 and I am up ALL night with the baby. If I need a midnight break and ask him to take her for a few minutes he gets angry and starts telling the baby to shut up and stuff. He also likes to tell me how this is my job(the baby) and his job is harder thanh mine. How do I get through to him? Keep in mind that he has a serious anger problem and confronting him about anything turns into a fight. Please help!
2007-01-31 08:59:39 · 12 answers · asked by Ruby Tuesday 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
This is very serious. You know what LeeAnn, screw his anger management problem. You two are married and a team. You are his wife and now a new mom. Toughshit, he works and is tired. Everybody knows that to be a parent is the most difficult job in the world and is proven to be as much work as 2 full-time jobs. Isn't that funny? The only job God told us to fulfill by nature is still the most demanding and permanent job.You must DEMAND his "shifts" or else to be honest LeeAnn, he is not the husband he promised and how aweful for you to have to do this alone. Bull ****, it is your job. You are not a house wife nor a house nurse. This is his job too and to be honest if you do not demand this from your partner now,be prepared to be taken advantage of and have a miserable marriage. You can get him involved and when he is involved seriously let him alone.Baby and Dad only. You can keep a close eye on him. Since you feed the baby, time with dad can be bathing baby, talking to baby, reading baby a story,playing with him. It already seems like a violent enviornment, since he tells your child to "shutup". What the hell is that? He obviously is uneducated that babies do not know right from wrong and only communicate through their crys and body language. This really upsets me and I feel horrible you have to go through this. Remember, only you can endanger your life and your childs life by continuing with this unresponsive husband and horrible job of a father. I don't mean to hurt you, but get your head on straight and provide the BEST and only the best for your child. What matters now is a strong voice from you and your childs well being. Since your a little submissive now, a strong agressiveness in your nature will be different and taken seriously from your husband. He will see a new side to you he's never seen and will respond. After all, he's never known you as a "mom." You've never known you as a "mom." Mom's are tough and protect their offspring like the lionesses in the jungle. It's mothernature. If things get bad, and you know what I mean he is getting very violent or you see that there is no connection with you or the child, you should know this can be a permanent change in your life. No matter, your number one duty is to care for your child and still know who you are and have a strong you.
I am due this weekend and during pregnancy learned I have to be that way with my fiancee. Guess what he sees the lion in me and likes it and listens. He knows what my expectations are and I won't except anything less. Value your beleifs and morals and always keep a strong head even at your weakest, your baby needs a strong foundation. Good Luck! I truley wish you and baby all the best!!! Be Strong!!!
2007-01-31 09:40:59 · answer #1 · answered by tiff 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband is exactly the same way. And sweetie...I gotta tell you...our men weren't meant for breeding.
I love my son and I don't regret him for even a second. But my husband was never meant to be a father and by the sounds of it ...neither was yours.
I have accepted the fact that I am a married single mom.
The only way to make him see that His job is BULLSHET compared to yours is to leave the baby with him...but the baby doesn't deserve that!
I'm going to call Nanny 911 or something so that he can learn to be with baby and see how much of an ashhole he's being.
They obviously need some sort of counciling because they are broken and can't function like they should.
My husband clocked out when we left the hospital and hasn't lifted a finger since...I'm on my own. At least you get to stay at home...I work full time on top of it.
It took both of you to make the baby...and it takes both of you to care for it...it's only fair.
He needs to get a swift kick in the butt asap...that's the only think that will snap my guy out of it.
PS: as much of an idiot as my husband is...he'd never tell our baby to shut up (he's only 16 weeks)...That's borderline abusive and he's obviously affecting you emotionally...you may want to take a good look at this relationship and see if it's somewhere you want to be...if your husband is that abusive toward your baby at 7 weeks...whats going to happen during the terrible twos...or god forbid the teens when baby back talks daddy??
2007-01-31 09:19:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies are hard on both parents.. Im sorry you're husband isnt helping you out. He should be. Please tell him that it is not alright for him to tell a 7 week old to shut up.. that breaks my heart just reading that.
I know that this isnt really what you are asking about, but I just want to say that if you arent able to talk to your husband about something that is upsetting you, or it always turns in to a fight.. I would give this relationship a good hard look.. is it a healthy situation for you and your 7 week old to be in?? :(
I feel parenting should be equally shared by the mother and father, being a SAHM is in no way easier than a "job".. he's got to understand that...
Was this a planned child?
Im so sorry that he's being the way that he is... he's missing out on a really fun time, I love babies at that age!!
2007-01-31 09:14:41 · answer #3 · answered by Alaskan Princess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a great guy. If my husband told my baby to shut up I would slap his mouth right off his face.
You have the hardest job on the planet. I would love to see a man like yours handle it for just one day. Of course, if he has a temper problem I don't think that is a good idea because he might hurt the baby.
Perhaps you can write him a letter and them go visit your mom or a friend for the weekend with baby. He will have time to read and contemplate what you have to say, without you being around to argue with.
Good luck, hon. I feel for you. If only all men could be as good as my hubby. He is a stay at home dad and I work. We share household responsibilities to include nighttime feedings. Now that is a REAL MAN. I can't stand that old macho crap about womens jobs.... it's just a cop out for lazy fathers.
2007-01-31 09:09:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
He wasn't into that at all. Yes, he came with me to pick up a couple of things, good-naturedly digging his heals in most of the way. Looking back on it, I think that two things were going on. One is that he was a bit scared, apprehensive, and overwhelmed at the whole idea of having a baby and all that entailed. Men are designed to be providers and women are designed to be nurturers, so any of the "let's go pick out baby stuff" was entirely out of his realm of comfort. Two is that the baby is still an abstract idea until it's actually born. My husband was a reluctant participant in the baby stuff before birth, but right from birth he was totally on top of his protector and provider roles and was doing everything he could to make sure the baby was alright and doing well.
2016-03-28 22:44:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds bad. I think you should seek real help on that one. Is he taking meds for his anger issue?
I don't know what I would do if ANYONE ever told my baby to shut up. I swear I would snap.
But seriously I think you need real help with this one, talk to a counselor or something. Some one who can understand both sides.
2007-01-31 09:08:18 · answer #6 · answered by Dawn S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i were you i would have a nap in the daytime when the baby sleeps to re charge your batteries.if your husband is home at the weekend you could maybe involve him with the feeding etc,one step at a time,and praise him for a job well done.maybe try explaining that you are also learning every day on how to deal with a baby.good luck to you and please try to get as much rest as you can
2007-01-31 09:07:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
A lot of men just don't know what to do with a baby. But, you can see if there is some aspect he does enjoy. Perhaps giving her a bath or just holding her while you shower. Start small. My son's dad would never hold him, but didn't mind changing diapers. Go figure.
2007-01-31 09:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by Aloe-ish-us 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's a dangerous situation to be in. and it's also scary.
i'm sorry, but i don't think that relationship is going to last.
maybe you should go stay with your mom or something for a while. i don't know how to help you with this one. my baby's daddy was the same way. and i didn't leave him until i felt that my future and my daughter's future was in jeopardy.
this is all on you.
2007-01-31 09:10:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must of not been ready for the kid,or the baby is small and some men or scared of tiny babies maybe when it's older and bigger things will change ,if he has an anger problem and yells at 7 mo. old watch your baby he might throw it or do something crazy,don't force it on him,he might come around
2007-01-31 09:06:43 · answer #10 · answered by Me 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋