i really don't understand this whole thing.. there are always women on here saying i've been in a relationship with this guy for so long and he hasnt' asked me to marry him yet..
do they really think getting married is going to make the relationship any better?
i don't see what the difference is besides getting tax breaks :) and a that peice of paper that says your commited..
don't you think that is a little insecure that you need a piece of paper to show your love?
2007-01-31 08:54:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i just like to add i'm not bitter or angry.. i have a bf whom i love very much he loves me.. i just dont' see the point of rushing into anything were not ready for
2007-01-31 09:03:34 · update #1
Because they want to be princess for a day...then they wonder why their marriage sucks 3 months later....
2007-01-31 09:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In all honesty, I don't think women are in a rush to get married. In your question, you indicate that the "hurried" women have been in a relationship "for so long". I think that for some women, if you've been with a guy for years, I can understand the frustration at a guy dragging his feet. I mean, at that point, you know each other well, are probably living together, and may even have children. I think at that point it becomes that a woman feels like she's not truly valued. Sort of a "good enough to be a girlfriend, but not a wife" thing.
Of course, if the relationship in question has been going on less than 2-3 years, I agree that there shouldn't be a rush. But, IMHO, 5-10 years is too long to be a girlfriend unless BOTH parties are okay with the arrangement.
BTW, another question could be "Why are some guys so AFRAID of getting married?" If, like you say, nothing much changes, why not do it?
2007-01-31 10:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by ChocLot 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Look, In most all cases, women are security conscious people and for some reason the commitment of marriage gives them that security.Its not right because nothing truly gives you security but yourself and how strong you are inside for yourself and others.If you are loved it doesn't matter if your married or not because if anything, being married can make it that much more complicated and restricted.If just being with some one doesn't work out for some reason then the two of you can just move on.When the marriage don't work out, it takes lawyers and money and usually alot of added hard feelings that only make it all drag out and more painful.If you feel the need to get married for the fact of having kids as in a way to "do right by them" then go right ahead.But in truth its your life, live it and do in it to the way that suits you both.Not what everyone else does or says you should do.
2007-01-31 09:05:45 · answer #3 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Like Chris K said, many are in love with the idea of getting married. I think it's a bigger deal for women than men. Also, someone said something about feeling validated - I think there's something to that, too. One other reason is the money issue - combining resources and becoming more financially secure.
2007-01-31 09:25:00 · answer #4 · answered by Bayou Boy in Tx 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its always been something i have thought about.other than being pregnant well the next reason would be to close the deal.. like a car salesman ..they want their customer to be checked or and locked into a life long commitment therefore benefiting themselves financially and whatever their needs are.They feel if the deal is closed he isnt going shopping somewhere else but sometimes this makes a guy that wouldn't normally stray decide to be that way because the feel smothered..
2007-01-31 09:26:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You nailed it. Women are insecure.
Marriage is a wonderful thing, but it is a COUPLES decision. Both people should come to that conclusion.
When women ruch marriage they are only cutting themselves short. A friend of mine was with a guy since high school (6 yrs or so) and was just sick of waiting to get married, so she manipulated him into asking her. First of all she was dissapointed because he didn't ask her of his own accord, and then it turned out the guy wasn't ready for the stress a wedding brought. He eventually called off the wedding, and she called off the relationship. I know she wishes she would have waited until he was ready to ask her.
If you are with a guy and you don't think it is worth it to wait, then maybe you should consider that you are not right for eachother. Relationships should be based on selflessness, but so many women want to know why their boyfriends don't want to marry them, instead of enjoying life now.
It is a selfish to get married into an unstable relationship that wasn't ready for the commitment just to have children. Children should only be considered after a relationship has been proven and the parents are on the same page. People need to stop thinking that being parents are the beginning and the end. Don't you ever get sick of your parents living their lives through you? Then why do you want to live your life through your children? When you can live your life to the fullest as it is, then you are ready to have kids.
Just my opinion.
2007-01-31 09:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by wishing_i_could_sing 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Girls that want a wedding or someone to take of them and are putting out the goods for free end up with boys that don't and shouldn't make commitments.
Reality is that men and women bond and make families. Smart ladies know this and seek good real men while the pickings are still good and don't take sexual chances with unworthy boyish stock.
If you just feel marriage is a piece of paper and a tax break. You pretty clueless to the meaning of life.
2007-01-31 09:47:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ever since we were children the "Cinderella" story has been burnt into our heads to the point we are all brainwashed that as women it is our duty to the human race to get married, keep house, and have babies to repopulate the earth. That we as women are not fulfilled until we do all of those things.
Times are changing....slowly.
I also think that women for some reason feel more "loved" if a man commits himself to the "institution of marriage" and believes that if they are married he will always be faithful and never leave....*coughbulls***cough*
If you are in a loving relationship relish it and be glad! Don't screw it up by thinking that you have to MARRY the guy!!!
2007-01-31 09:13:42 · answer #8 · answered by Deede 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Because society dictates that a woman must be married as soon as she can or she'll wither up and die an old maid.
This may sound archaic, but I assure you it's closer to the truth than most will admit. Mothers teach their daughters and they to theirs and so on and so forth, that finding a man to marry is paramount. The churches propogate this, every love story ever written propogates this, and the society we live in today propogates this (although not inasmuch as it did in the early to mid 20th century and especially since the womens liberation movement in the 60's thru today).
All in all, it's the same thing as society and the media dictating to everybody on a daily basis what "beautiful" is. ie...the beautiful blonde haired perfect skinned supermodel advertising your favorite gum.
2007-01-31 10:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by genetic_traitor 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you should not rush into anything you;re not ready for... but some people are ready for it.
For people who are religious, marriage is more significant than just a piece of paper.
I am anxious for marriage because I want to start a family relatively youn, yet i don't want to be rushed to have kids as soon as i get married. Plus there's always the temptation of thinking about a beautiful wedding and dress etc.
2007-01-31 09:08:26 · answer #10 · answered by learning_to_live_616 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i never understood this either. I was the one wanting to wait to get married and it was my now husband who wanted to rush things. Only thing I can think of is maybe the other person thinks they wont be able to do better.
2007-01-31 09:04:46 · answer #11 · answered by deftoneschik42o 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋