How long should it take me to get over my moms death?

Question

Mymom died almost a year ago before my 16th Birthday and I am still really deprese about it and only cried about it the first night of the accident with out any one knowing about it and lately I just been eatting like a pig which cause me to go from 104lbs to 118lbs. And I just feel like a spoil brat now who dosen't get enough attention.Plase Don't suggest counsoling I can't stand counsours I had to lie to two or three of my school .counsours and said I already been to counsouring . AND I ALSO BEING TELLING PEOPLE THE REASON OF HER DEATH WAS MY FAULT.

Answer 1

You will not get over the death of your mother but over time you will be able to go on living.You will accept that you can be happy again (and not feel guilty), you will make plans for your future and you will have a life. You say you don't need a counsellor and are even lying to school counsellors about going to counselling.You may truly benefit from talking to someone who can help you talk freely about your feelings. Your mother would want you to be happy and live your life to meet its fullest potential.If you are telling us(absolute strangers) that your mother's death was your fault you may need help.You also say you are eating more. Talk to your dad. Perhaps you could help each other through this difficult time. Ignoring this will not make it go away.

Answer 2

1st, it isn't your fault. Whoever said that is a creep!

With regards to "getting over" her death, it depends. If you wallow in grief, you may never get over it. If you move on and make something of your life it will be much better.

HOWEVER, sorry to be gloomy about things, in some ways you never totally get over it because you love your mother and you miss her.

My mother died when I was 5 weeks old. I never knew her but I miss her terribly. My step mom died when I was 18. I miss her terribly too. However, I went on with life. I went to college, go married and had 4 wonderful children. The hurt is still there and it always will be. However, the stinging pain is gone. I now have a beautiful little grand-daughter.

Make your mother proud of what you have made of yourself. Make yourself proud! If you don't want to talk to a therapist, talk with someone you trust.

Answer 3

You know it was not your fault, right? Why tell people that? Ask yourself why you do that and see what your answer to that question is. I am so sorry you lost your mother. She would be looking down from heaven worrying about your behavior so let her see you be more calm and let her see you talking to an adult just the way you would have talked to her. A counselor can stand in for your mom in this situation.
I can tell you that you never forget your mom. She is with you forever. My mom died (she was older than yours, I'm sure) and I still think about her every single day. In fact, I never go to sleep without saying one prayer for her and I will do that until I am old and ready to die myself!

Answer 4

Honey it doesn't matter how old you are, losing you mom is a crushing experience... My mom pases away over the summer and there are some really good days, really bad days, and lots in between... The important thing is to feel what you need to feel... Everyone heals at a different rate... I know you hate counselors, but it is important to find someone to talk to, even a close friend, or family member... Just talk about what feels natural... I spent alot of time talking about my anger, and how sad I felt all the time...

Try to remember the good things and keeping busy... I started going places and doing thing that I enjoyed with my mother... It was hard at first, but it gave me sense of peace too, knowing that these were our favorite places...

Hang in there, it will get a bit easier....

Answer 5

You don't get over something like that. You just get used to not having them physically in your life.

You sound like you do could use some counseling, but by a professional psychologist, not your school counselor, someone who specializes in grief counseling. What you're going through sounds pretty normal and no reason to panic. Grief is a roller coaster ride, with ups and downs and hairpin turns. One step forward, then one back. Good days and bad.

But you need someone to help you get past feeling that it was your fault. Talk to your family doctor and ask if he or she can refer you to a therapist, someone you can talk to and sort through your feelings.

Hang in there, it does get better, I promise.

Answer 6

Losing your mum was a crushing experience.I know because I am still getting over the loss of my mum too.I am alot older than you.I have talked to a grief counsellor and it has helped. If you cant talk to a counsellor than you need to find someone that can help you through this.It takes a while .Feel free to email me.

Answer 7

Take as long as you need. Dont blame it on yourself. It takes some people longer to get over the death of someone really close longer then others.

Answer 8

its not the kind of thing you can get over. it will always be in the back of your mind. you have just got to try to live your life and occuppy your time. a sport maybe, that could also help you lose the weight if your worried about it. if you are occupied with other things you will not be thinking about your loss.

Answer 9

You sound like you want attention. Anyway, people are different and you may never get over it. It takes time to accept that someone is gone, but life goes on and you eventually deal better as time moves on.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear about your loss...You will never fully get over it, but you will learn to live with it. Just take it one day at a time. Some days you will have good days and some days you will have bad days...