I've been married for almost 1 yr now and ever since i said "I do" sex has suddenly become an issue in my relationship with my husband. I mention sex and he becomes irritated or he constantly rejects me. I try to be the perfect wife.I stay at home and do the housewife thing and I always make sure I'm made-up looking when he gets home. Its just when i ask for sex he says no 90% of the time. But when he wants it I drop everything I'm doing to please him. Mainly because I know this will be my only chance for the next week. I've asked him why and he tells me now that he knows hes married that he can have it anytime he wants and theres no need to do it constantly any longer. I feel cheated!!! I just wish I could get it at least every other day.3-4 times a month isnt cutting it and we are in our early 20s!! What should I do? Is it me? I'm seriously thinking about getting some on the side for sexual purposes only.
2007-01-31 08:31:59 · 28 answers · asked by deftoneschik42o 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should also mention I dress up for him, corsets heels that sort of thing.Im open to everything. i mean i get hit on constantly.When we do have sex its the best. Its always hot, hard and kinky. Its just its a rarity and i wonder if its me. I get hit on all the time and sometimes people approach me infront of him then he acts like he wants me. i just dont get it. im damn close to perfect.
2007-01-31 08:46:25 · update #1
this started 2 months after i got married. i got pregnant and he started hitting me around that time too.
2007-01-31 08:55:26 · update #2
You can over do it, However "marriage" should not be used as an excuse!! "marriage" is of the HEART. Not of the Sex. I mean he should have already been dedicated to you sexually. Just because you got married does not mean the the work should end there!
Go get some toys instead.
3-4 times a month is not a lot, But be cautious not to over do it, his needs may not be as demanding as yours.
Another thing to
about is pornography, is he into it? That will take the punch out of your sex lives. It's destructive.
2007-01-31 09:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Blueryno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is having a control issue. Kinda sad, especially since your married now, and all the games should be over. BUT, I think maybe I would completely stop bugging him about sex! Completely....Make him wonder, same little game he's playing with you. I hate games myself..But maybe in the long run, this might lead to a serious conversation-hopefully. If at all possible, when he decides it's his big day for sex, have a serious tummy ache. Let him feel the rejection you've been feeling. Rejection is one of the very worst feeling a human will ever feel in life. If you can get a serious form of communication out of this, especially this early in your marriage, you'll be set. Good luck!!!! Selfishness has no place in a healthy marriage..
2007-01-31 08:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by sue d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is most definitely not wrong to want to have sex. We are teens hormones are raging but that doesn't mean we should act on themm.. I would give it time before you know he reallly love's you and that you are ready . I think my sister's story will give you a little bit of advice When she was 15 she thought she was in love with this guy so they had sex and the very next day he wouldn't even talk to her. She really thought he loved her. I would wait...
2016-05-23 23:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hate to say this, but one of my friends had this same problem when she got married. For her, it turned out that he'd been having an affair from the beginning, even before they were married. He wasn't interested in sex with her because he had another woman. She was upset as you are. Then one morning he got p***ed at her and choked her. He later confessed that he was trying to kill her so he could be with this other woman.
I think you should leave him before things go too far. Wanting sex every night even isn't too much to ask. You need to ask yourself why he isn't interested when you're going all out for him. I would have left after the first time he hit me. If he does it again, I would definitely leave. There's no excuse for that kind of thing.
2007-01-31 10:33:05 · answer #4 · answered by benjis.girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
before i would do that i would talk to him i have been with someone for 14 years and i don't think men like when women are the agressor but i have to say a the 20's in a persons life is when you should be having your most fun with your partener im 40 now an was about 26 when i got with my man and i still at least get it 2-3 times a week it isn't unusal may be his sex deive is low???
2007-01-31 08:42:22 · answer #5 · answered by PAULINA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound good..at all.. Usually the guy is complaining about the lack of interest.Maybe if we put all those women that have to initate sex with all the guys that have the same problem maybe life would be simpler..but well the hitting you doesn't sound to promising and maybe you should just move on to someone that loves you and has an interest in you that way .Believe me its sad when you are with someone that you are the only one it feels like that has an interest in being intimate..
2007-01-31 09:40:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I see a lot of people judge before they know the whole story. Living with someone for a while (like I did) does not help in any way to help with the sex part. It seems that in the beginnning of any relationship, yes you will have lots of sex. After awhile they start complaining of how tired they are and blah blah blah. When you find the answer to this question...please PLEASE let me know. I am going through the same damn thing!
2007-01-31 10:11:12 · answer #7 · answered by lamicka_chambliss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be, and I'm just throwing this out there, that he bought into the idea that single women are sexual, wanton beings, but married women are prim and proper. He may, unconsciously not be attracted to you sexually because now you are supposed to be "nice" instead of "naughty" like you were before you got married. It's a whore/Madonna complex. This happens to many men after their wife has a child. They have a hard time seeing their wife in a naughty sexual way afterward because "she's the mother of my children" which makes her subconsciously like "his mother". Not a sexual thing, eh?
2007-01-31 08:42:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
EDIT....HE IS HITTING YOU TOO????? Why did you save this to post later??? LEAVE WOMAN!!! What are you thinking?????
DON'T LOOK FOR SOMETHING ON THE SIDE!!!! Don't be a cheater. If you are even considering cheating on your husband,,,,you don't need to be married to him. Tell him how you feel. Also, let him know that even when he isn't in the mood, there are things he can do for you to show his love and pleasure you. If he doesn't go for that, you may need to rethink your marriage. You will never be happy....but cheating isn't the answer.
2007-01-31 09:01:29 · answer #9 · answered by how_bout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to sound judgemental, but this is WHY you should NEVER have sex before marriage, because it changes people's opinions about sex after marriage, because they get a false sense of reality because of it.
I think personally it's best to wait till after marriage to have sex.
That's why God created sex, to be between a husband and wife after they said I DO.
Also I think your putting way too much importance on sex.
About thinking about getting some on the side. If you do, your going to open yourself up to ALOT of problems. And could ultimatly end in divorce.
2007-01-31 08:54:36 · answer #10 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋