We just moved into our house recently and havent build on like we plan on doing. So for now our unborn son will be sleeping in our room. Im almost 20 weeks pregnant, and it seems like my hubby doesnt want me arranging and putting up the crib yet. I dont know why. I feel like i need a place to start storing things that ive already bought, but my hubby doesnt want to EVER talk about it. He said we could do it like 3 weeks ago, and still its not done. There are tons of things to move to make room for the crib. Is it wrong to just do it anyways regardless of what he says? Or should i just let it be and see how long it takes for him to come up with the idea? Im not going to want to arrange and move things when im 7 months pregnant...can i just go ahead and start?
2007-01-31 08:22:11 · 13 answers · asked by jess_n_flip 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He better get use to it lol, He has custody of his two sons and hes also the step father of my two sons, so all in all we have four boys and one boy on the way. Bout time he steps it up as far as im concerned lol
2007-01-31 08:38:22 · update #1
So funny, because the same thing happened to us. Then my husband went to work one day (I was 7 months pregnant), I got the itch and put the whole damn thing together myself. He came home and went bananas, but I said, "you made a pregnant, anxious, excited pregnant lady wait, it's your own fault. You're lucky I didn't get hurt!" We laugh about it to this day. And you better believe he put everything else together the day it arrived!!
2007-01-31 08:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you will find it nice to have something to do when you get to seven months but it sound like he is having trouble coming to terms with having this baby. Don't worry, all men do. They don't feel the baby move, they don't have symptoms, it usually doesn't seem real until the baby actually comes. You should let the room go for a little whle and talk with him about how the other parts of your life will change. See if you can get him to open up a little and you may hear why it is so hard for him to get the room ready. A good way to broach a topic with a man, especially one he doesn't want to talk about it to do it in the car or when he is doing something so that it doesn't feel like you are asking him to do it right this second and they don't have to look at you. (I like to talk while we are driving, he's captive lol.) You do have some time but help him get used to the idea by putting the baby things that you buy in your room (maybe even on the bed, then he'll have to do something with them). Try to talk about other things than the baby too, 10 months is a long time to hear about a seemingly non-existent baby that is going to change everything.
2007-01-31 16:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Huggles-the-wise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband didn't want to set anything up because he was so afraid that he'd start to get excited about the baby and BOOM! something would go wrong. We'd had bad luck before, and he was antsy. Maybe your hubby is just afraid to get to into the pregnancy and getting everything ready because there's still so much that can go wrong (theoretically -- I don't want to scare you! I'm sure you'll have a healthy, beautiful baby!) :)
Some dads, too, just haven't accepted the reality of the pregnancy yet. When they start to see the nursery, set up the crib, put up the wallpaper, then it hits them that their whole life is about to change, and change is scary.
Depending on his issue, you can reassure him that everything is fine and you really need his help, or you might have to gently coerce him into accepting what is happening to his family -- it's getting bigger!
I would go ahead and do what is right for you. If you want to set that stuff up, I say go ahead. Just be careful, though, to leave some important things for him to do. If he comes around, he'll feel left out if everything is already done.
Good luck! Happy pregnancy. :)
2007-01-31 16:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by jeffs_wife_ali _&_adams_mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things:
1) If I waited for my hubby to do even a quarter of the projects he swears he will do, I'd be dead before I saw a single thing. For example, four years ago he bought me a file cabinet for Valentine's Day (don't ask, its kind of a joke!)... it sat in the box for two years until I got so fed up I did it myself. Then he comes in and says, "Don't hurt yourself honey, I would have done that!"
2) Why do you have to "wait" for your husband's permission to put together the baby stuff? It seems like he is being a little overly controlling about the whole thing. I would say it is NEVER wrong to do something like this if you want to get started; if he doesn't like it, too bad.
2007-01-31 16:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just let it slide for now.
Trust me in a few more weeks you will be going through a "nesting" phase where you will be cleaning and arranging and rearranging everything. If you have a pregnancy book look it up and share it with him.
He probably has allot going on rite now too. You have to learn not to sweat the small stuff.
I had my daughter a bassinet that I was planning on putting in my room w/me. It ended up she slept w/me for 2 3/4 years. I loved it !
2007-01-31 16:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just do it. He needs to start getting used to the idea that a baby is coming and that it's real. Don't do anything to hurt yourself or the baby though. My husband didn't get excited until we started putting things together, it's probably normal but I know it can make a pregnant woman irritated..I was. LOL. Good Luck and congrats.
2007-01-31 16:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by 2princesses 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he feel about the pregnancy? It sounds like he doesn't want to deal with the idea of your room becoming baby's room. I am 23 weeks and already have my crib set up and have my bedding sets and window valances.. all in my room. I think you and him need to sit down and talk about what's really bothering him. He may be scared of your lives changing.
2007-01-31 16:27:40 · answer #7 · answered by shugarmagnolia420 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should just tell him that it will be much easier on you to do it now rather than later. You're lucky you have a crib already! I'm 23 weeks and hardly have anything. Guess I should get busy, huh?
2007-01-31 16:30:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably feeling anxious about having a baby and doesnt really deal with it. working on the baby's room would force him to deal with the situation my husband couldn't even be bothered to buy baby stuff when i was pregnant. it was my mom and my frineds who helped me buy all the stuff the baby needs. but when our daughter was born, he was really excited about it and went on a shopping spree. i'm sure he'll feel differently than he does now as soon as the baby is born. good luck!
2007-01-31 16:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to your husband that the need to "get ready" just gets stronger and stronger as you get closer to birth. The more he gets done now the less he will have to be nagged about later.
I was rearranging furnature and re-folding my daughter's clothes up until I went into labor.
Good Luck!!
2007-01-31 16:34:55 · answer #10 · answered by buggerhead 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋