How long have you been married and what were your toughest times?

Question

Did your tough times bring you closer together? What did you do to work thru them? Just wondering, always helps to hear the stories from people who have "been there". Thanks for your replies!!

Answer 1

Next month will be 31 years and without doubt it was the first 7 years of our marriage, mostly due to the fact that I tried to hang on to my old buddies who never married and lived the party life. Some serious growing up issues on my part and I'm lucky that my wife stuck it out, she could easily have left. Yes, we had 4 children which maybe we both used as an excuse to stay together during those times but it in the end it was me who had to do some changing. I have no regrets

Answer 2

l have been married 30 yrs. l can honestly say my toughest ever time was when l found out my husband had been cheating on me with an ex work friend, it had been going on for nearly 3 yrs when l found out. Yes we are working through it. That was just over a year ago now and the trust issues are tough but we are getting there. Things are really good now, we both realise that there is lots of love for each other and with our love we can work out any problems that may arise. l feel that in a lot of ways it has brought us much closer. Perhaps sometimes it takes a major upset to make you realise just what your marriage means to you. It's that old saying, " you don't really know what you have until you loose it ". Hope this has helped you in some way.

Answer 3

My husband and I have been together 7 years and married three of them. We have had to deal with deployements over to Iraq, me getting pregnant right when he returned home, him trying to have sex with my bestfriend right after the birth of our daughter which so far has been the hardest in my opinion because we always had such an awesome relationship until the baby was born because we actually grew apart during my pregnancy when people usually grow together. But we both started pretty much ignoring eachother and I took care of the baby and he went looking to my friend for affection because he knew she had cheated on her husband before and she would do it well, Thank God she didn't Oh! yeah I forgot to add we just made a move to Germany so theres another whopper but I can honestly say now things are really starting to improve. Marriage counceling has helped us immensly. Even through all of the bad times we have still managed to hold on and fight for what we know is ours and we won't give up. Now, every once and a while I have to sit down, relax, and think about why we got together in the first place and remember that I do still love him. Things are so much easier when you try as best as you can to please your lover because eventually they will catch on and want to reciprocate. I ask myself everyday when I wake up "What can I do to make him that will brighten his day today or make him happy?" and I promise you since I've had this mentality, He has been the best husband and treats me like a queen.

Answer 4

My husband and I have been married 54 years come April 6,07.
I wouldn't say that our tough times brought us closer together but because of them we grew together. We worked through them, tooth and nail, so to speak. Whatever it took from one of us or the other at the time. "Mainly we never gave up on the marriage, again ,for one reason or another." We were/are a US Military family, now retired with 5 grown & happily married children, Sandra,Penny,Carl,Paul and Kevin. Our faith has grown along with us and we give all the credit of our many blessings to Christ.
Our love for each other is stronger with each passing day and I cannot imagine my life without my husband. He is not perfect, however you will not find one more perfect. He is so good to me and I try to show and tell him in some way each day how much I value him. God is so good~~~
And Life Together only gets sweeter for us.
Thank you for your Question.
I love the opporunity to share good news.~~~~~~Jill

Answer 5

Almost 37 years. Here's my best thoughts on long term relationships:

Some of the key elements of a successful relationship - married or otherwise - are:

1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests, which all people will have.

2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.

3) A sense of forgiveness, for, as I said, you're both going to screw up on occasion.

Answer 6

We will be married for 4 years in August. We did have some tough times when I went back to school full time and could only work part time. That was definitely hard on us financially. We worked through it and it made us so much stronger. Now I have moved with my husband for his career and we are doing very well. He is very close to getting another promotion that he deserves!! :)

Answer 7

Married 30 years in April. Not all happy. The first 10 years were the hardest. He would go out with his friends and leave me home.
Money problems. But we love each other and we still have our tough times. But with age, people mellow out a little and we can actually joke about the bad times.NO relationship is perfect.It comes down to how much you really love each other.

Answer 8

My husband left for Iraq days after we married. When he came home, he was ok for a month, and then he began acting kind of off. Long, long, long story short. He kept getting worse and worse, and more demanding and belittling. He was so mean to me and wouldn't acknowledge me when I came home at night except to ask when supper would be ready. He refused to compliment me even. He screamed in my face about how he wanted to have kids with me but didn't know if it was a good idea because I wouldn't be a good mother (he demanded an emaculate house when I just shot for clean and said I was unable to keep a home clean enough for a child). After two years of serious, serious emotional abuse, to the point I seriously conemplated suicide but didn't because of my religious beliefs, he finally realized he wasn't doing well. He didn't even realize it after he was drunk one night and thought there were Iraquis everywhere that were coming after him so he climbed and hid in the neighbor's tree at 2 a.m. Anyway, he's much better now. And then there is his MOTHER. Think Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond, but she's a meth addict with psychiatric problems who demands to see her granddaughter all the time and accuses me of stealing her son from her and the rest of the family and her other family members from her. Anyway, despite all this, my husband and I now have a great relationship. We are about as happy as we were when we first started dating.

My advice is take your vows seriously and stick it out, unless there is physical abuse or adultery.

Answer 9

Ive only been married for 3 years, but so far the first year was really bad! We both went through an adjustment period, where we kinda rebelled against each other, we almost called it quits, he went to his parents for like 2 days, I was devastated, then he called me from work crying and said he was coming home. Every thing has been great since then.

Answer 10

Going on 7 yrs. now and still have tough times...from the beginning till now, i dont think our first 2 years of marrital problems ever ended since we still going through situations...but evey day is a new day to get to know your lover more and work things out even if it seems like the problems will never end we still have eachother at the end of the day.