my husband cheated on me 2 times in 3 days.I thought i was enough for him ,i was wrong.we do nothing but in the house.day after day.now the trust is gone and im still misserable as always.so why should i be faithful?i need attention also.now all i think about is doing the same.smile in his face like he do me.as if nothing is going on.then we both will be happy and maybe ill get out the house.love is such a strong word , i refuse to tell him that again cause i dont know if i do or not any more.men always take for granted what they have until its gone forever.my frame of mind now is fair exchange aint no robbery.
2007-01-31 08:09:38 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
once a cheater always a cheater, if you can live with him cheating on you, go ahead.... but no one deserves to be number 2 on her husbands list! talk to him, confront him, try counseling, do all the works so you can say i did everything i could to keep that marriage if it results in separation...
good luck..
2007-01-31 08:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Missery, first things first. You're emotional... I suggest you get away from him for a while. You need to clear your head so you can decide what to do for yourself, without him in the picture. Go stay with a friend, or a relative. Don't be secretive, talk to your friends and or family.
You should remain faithful for yourself. How good will you feel if you act the same way your husband does?
I know this sounds dumb, but the worst thing you can do is be emotional right now. If you make decisions based on your current emotional state you will regret it. Think about it... if you go out and sleep with some guy, you could get AIDS or something. Take a deep breath, slow down, and think.
You relationship with your husband has been irreparably damaged. While you may or may not love him any more, at this point does not matter. Just get away from him.
You husband poses a threat to your emotional stability. I can't stress enough that you need to get away from him. You don't even have to tell him where you're going, or what you are doing. Just leave.
Do not sleep with someone just to get back at him. If he is cheating, then he obviously doesn't care. If you cheat then when you guys get divorced you will be less likely to keep the house, kids, cars or whatever you guys have. Play it smart.
Cheating men suck, but this isn't the end of your life. Think of it as an opportunity to leave this man high and dry.
Take what you want, and bail. Life is too short for this crap.
Good luck!
2007-01-31 08:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that you are hurt. But sinking to his level isn't going to better you. As a matter of fact, it will only make matters worse cause then you will have to live with your own conscience. The only real way to handle the situation is to first decide whether or not you can repair the damage that he has caused. Is there any hope at all? If yes, figure out where you two can start the mending process. If no, move on. If you feel you need love / attention too and he can't give it to you, get a divorce. It is lawful and biblical. Then, and only then, would I consider a new start. A real man will never give you the love, respect, and honor that you deserve while you are married to another. You will just be a convenience. Good luck and may God bring you through your pain.
2007-01-31 08:18:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well doing to him what he did to you does not change what happened and how you are feeling? You can't just go out there and do it to hurt him because that just makes you scum like him and everyone knows you would just be going down to his level? Honestly what are you thinking, a relationship is based upon trust and if you have no trust why are you still there? There is an old saying and it is "Once a Cheater always a CHEATER" so why put yourself through that? And no all guys take you for granted only the guys you let take you for granted, if you are still with him no wonder he is taking you for granted, because he knows he could go ahead and do it again, you haven't left yet what makes him think you would leave the next time. You have to KNOW you are a better person and you DESERVE better then that, before you will be happy and staying with him doesn't prove that. I know you probably love him and you think he will change but in all reality if he loved you as much as he says he does he wouldn't have cheated because there is no excuse in the world for cheating, and because of that you need to move on believe me I know how you feel because I had the same thing happen to me in a past marriage and because of me moving on I am now happily married to a wonderful man who treats me like I should be treated!
2007-01-31 08:28:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think cheating on a cheater is the answer it isn't. Two wrongs definately don't make a right. If you feel you can't trust him and doubt you love him then it's time to move on. If you're not ready for the D word then try a trial seperation. Get outta the house. Meet some people. Join a club or class where adults get together for good clean fun. Don't answer this problem with sleeping around. In the end it will just confuse the issue. Being cheated on is the worst. No one deserves it!
2007-01-31 08:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by nighteyes2118 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What to do? Instead of having an affair to get back at him why dont you move out of the house temporarily. Tell your husband you need a break to find yourself. Tell him that you cannot stay when you cannot trust him anymore. Let him know that in time you might come to trust him if you both get councelling. But in the mean time get out of your funk. Move out and generate your own life. Find things you enjoy and if you start seeing someone else and you like them then at least you were honest with your husband and not sinking to his level. Besides that will probably give him a wake up call that you will not be walked all over..and the way your accepting his bad behavior now shows him that its okay to cheat on you cause you wont do anyting about it. Get out of it for your own peice of mind.
Its better for someone to be alone and healthy then sick with someone else in a relationship----Dr. Phil..and it seems fitting.
2007-01-31 09:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs a confrontation more than anything. If you do the same thing as him, nothing will be solved and you'll be just as guilty. If you want to stay with him, you really need to see a marriage counselor or a pastor.
However, if you can't forgive what he did to you (and adultry is a serious offence), the Bible does have something to say about this
This is a quote from Jesus (Matthew 19:9)
"And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful" (bible.com)
It goes for women, too. Although i hope he can wake up to his stupidity, if your husband is unfaithful, he's commited adultery, and you are not obligated to stay with him.
i hope this helps, good luck.
2007-01-31 08:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by stevedude256 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well logically, there is no respect anymore especially if it is happening periodically. Talk to him, see if theres a source for the cheating, why is it happening. Is he not happy?, Is it something that you can fix? If theres nothing that can be done about it then there is only two logical things to do, counseling or divorce. You may feel obligated to cheat also but then when you step back and look at the situation, why are you together in the first place? Talk and ask questions?
2007-01-31 08:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by flyboy1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, get out of this marriage now! You sound miserable! That person is a sorry excuse for a man, and you deserve so much more. Okay things may have turned sour, but the best marriages need work, and the fact that he just went and slept with someone else instead of coming to you and working through these things shows how much he thinks of you. Dump this loser, and start living YOUR life again, be happy and confident and don't even bother stooping to his level!
2007-01-31 08:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm truly sorry.
Still, I think that doing the same thing to him would not make you happy at all. Right now you feel used and uncared about by him. Finding a guy to sleep with out of revenge will only let you feel used by the new man as well. It may hurt your husband, but I doubt it. He is already sleeping with others, so he really doesn't care that much. It will hurt you, though.
Better to leave him. Take time by yourself to heal, to recover, to find some stability by yourself first. Then you would be ready to start thinking about the next thing to do.
2007-01-31 08:14:59 · answer #10 · answered by mic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Revenge is NEVER sweet! You will not feel a bit better after you sleep with another man. At least now, when you look at yourself in the mirror, you can be proud of the person you see. If you have an adulterous affair also, you will lose a lot of that pride, and self-esteem. I know you're miserable, but if you can't stand it any longer, get a divorce and move on in your life. Good Luck!!
2007-01-31 08:17:29 · answer #11 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋