How do you deal w/ a 10 yr old boy going through puberty?

Question

My son is getting a little too old for his britches. He knows about sex, drugs, most of all right from wrong. The other day he went around school telling friends "Doug did Missy" which Missy is his nine year old sister and doug is even younger I seriously need help

Answer 1

You're his father. It's not as hard as we all make it out to be. Just talk to him. Tell him that's not appropriate.

How do I handle the birds-and-bees speech responsibly?

Give up on the idea of presenting the subject in one big chat -- you'll overwhelm your child with more bewildering and even distasteful information than she can process at once. Instead, think of it as a gentle conversation that will take place over several months or perhaps even years. Keep your explanations as simple and specific to the discussion as you can. A 6-year-old wondering what "birth control" means is not necessarily asking you to delineate the mechanics of intercourse.



The hardest part, of course, is staying composed. Try to respond to your child's initial question without turning red or acting as though some momentous exchange is taking place; such a response might unnerve her or suggest that sex is linked to feelings of shame. If you can remain calm and speak naturally early on, you send an important message to your child: "You don't need to feel nervous about asking me about this. It's something we can talk about."



When you arrive at the point of giving a technical description of "the Act," it may help both of you if you say something simple like, "Look, I know this might sound awful to you now, but -- trust me -- it will seem different when you're older." A straightforward and honest approach is the best way to get through this: "When a man and a woman decide they want to do this, the man's penis goes inside the woman's vagina, and sperm comes out of the man's penis. Sometimes the sperm joins with one of the tiny eggs inside the woman's body, and that makes the egg begin growing into a baby. This happens in the special place women have called a uterus."



Once you make it through this, you should expect your child to look both dumbfounded and suspicious, especially if it dawns on her that you may have done this thing at least once. Don't be surprised if she suddenly changes the subject, walks away, or acts as though she hasn't heard a word you've said. She heard you. She just needs time to let it sink in.

Answer 2

Have a regular scheduled meeting with him once a week. Ask how he is doing and think of 5 points to teach about morals and right and wrong, and help him make goals for the future. Usually this doesn't take too long. He is still at the age when he will listen every time you have the chance to speak with him about things turn off the TV look him in the eye. Sometimes try to listen more than you talk. If you lay the foundation now you will be able to prevent some of the bigger problems that could happen in the future. Just Don't be Lazy about it, work hard at spending time with your son and only discipline with love not anger. Good Luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like he was trying to be cool and have good gossip, etc. I would talk with him about the consequences of this specific incident and then offer him the chance to "demonstrate his increasing manhood" by choosing some extra responsibilities around the house with the option of earning extra privileges if he can prove himself. Then he can strut his stuff in a more psitive way. Since he feels the need to talk about his sister, I would make very sure that he has some charge of caring for her so that he can learn about what it means to protect his little sister. Show a little confidence in his ability to grow up and he may surprise you.

Answer 4

Greetings, not many ten year olds know about sex, there are some things I would want to ask my son had that been me, (1). Where did you hear or experience what you are talking about. (2). I know your exploring son but I want you to know that you can always come to me with things especially things that bother you.

Having said that, many children who are victims of sexual crimes tend to act out inappropriately. I would have a heart to heart with him but stay in touch with your emotions because many times they will detect if your angry or upset and think that your upset with them. Don't be judgmental and if told something that needs to be investigated let the professionals do so. It's better to report and get help then to just let it be. It maybe nothing more then childhood curiosity but why take chances, it's your sons future your dealing with so love him, help him and let him know your there for his needs.

Answer 5

If he knows so much about sex than he would know that it's impossible for people that young to do it.