I had affairs on my husband before we had children should I tell him?

Answer 1

No, no need to drag what's happened into a relationship ..regardless if it where before kids or after. She learn from it and be faithful from here on out.

Answer 2

This is a difficult question, being a husband then I would want to know but if this was a one time fling and you know you are never going to do this again then maybe its best not to say anything. One thing I have learned is that there will be secrets in a marriage and sometimes its best to not tell anyone and just forget about it. And if you ask your husband if hes been cheating then he will get very worried about you cheating on him. So all in all I think its best to forget about it and love him day in and day out.

Answer 3

let your conscience be your guide.

If you know in your heart you will never make those same mistakes, telling him serves no purpose.

If you are overcome with guilt, and you think your husband can handle the truth, you should tell him.

In general, if many years have passed, telling your husband will do more harm than good. Just let it go, and seek counseling if you need to.

If you still have memories of your affairs, and if you find yourself thinking about having more affairs, you might have a sexual addiction problem, in which case you need to seek out support groups and counseling. If you are a sex addict, and you do not attempt recovery, you will eventually act out your sexual compulsiveness.

Answer 4

I say definitely NO!! Why bring up the past now? It will only clear your conscience. Is it worth breaking up your marriage and your family? As long as they are over and you have learned from your mistakes, what he doesn't know wont hurt him. If it were me I wouldn't want to know after all of these years because I dint think that I would be able to get over it or forgive him. Leave the past in the past and go on with your life.

Answer 5

I would only tell him if there is a good chance he was going to find out from someone else. If he's going to hear it, it's best coming from you. However, if there is very little chance of him finding out elsewhere and you're only considering telling him to clear your conscience, then don't do it. What purpose would it serve?

I agree with those above who say to move on and don't make the same mistake again.

Answer 6

I guess the question is if you stopped having them because you realized you loved only him or you stopped because you had children. If you truly love him and think that you're going to spend the rest of your lives together than I wouldn't tell him, it's passed and you didn't have children resulting in it, it will only hurt him. If you stopped because of the children than I'd say tell him, you're relationship isn't built on love and you're not saving your kids by sticking together if you're not truly in love.

Answer 7

That was really bad that you had affairs.

But for the sake of the children and the safety of your marriage don't say a word.

Just be a very good loving and attentive wife.

Answer 8

I wouldn't tell him anything as long as these children are his, what do have to gain. Let old news stay old news, don't tell him anything if your happy if you tell him you want be happy anymore. If he don't make each child take a partentry test he will throw it up to you everyday time you have a argument. Be smart keep your mouth shut let old dogs lie.

Answer 9

NEVER! You will ruin things between yourselves and will wreck your children's lives. Only think of them and how you will potentially rock their world with this explosive news. Keep it to yourself, it will benefit no one. If you're wanting to confess because of guilt, then don't ruin someone just because it will make YOU feel better. Be honorable NOW and keep the smut to yourself, you'll only cause heartbreak all around.

Answer 10

Why? You have children now and they need both of you. You know he will leave you if you tell him that.