I wouldn't listen because I am tired of her saying things that make me feel bad. She thought I was wrong for not being humble enough to ask 'how is that mom?'
I told her that I don't accept guilt trips anymore.. and things that make me feel bad. So mom asked if then the rules of our relationship were that she was only to say what I wanted to hear and agree with...
Was that a guilt trip or does she have a point. I am confused, my head feels messed with. How would you take that converstaion?
2007-01-31 06:07:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I should add that she thinks I am screwing up my kids and raising them to be sinners....
2007-01-31 06:16:35 · update #1
that is a guilt trip
2007-01-31 09:32:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ignore it if you find it upsetting. Parents sometimes say this stuff as a reflection of what is going on in their relationship with their teenagers, it doesn't make what they say true. Maybe she hoped the comment would initiate a conversation with you about your relationship with her. It's good you told her that you don't accept guilt trips, or things that make you feel bad. However, your mom has a point and can say whatever she chooses, whether you agree with it or not. You can always go back and tell her you've been giving the conversation some thought and would like her to explain what she meant.
2007-01-31 06:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that wasnt cool...i was a wild teen back in the day and my mom says crap like that too now that I have kids.They are not even teens yet! Her motivation falls right along the lines of paybacks a bee-otch....but I'm not on board for that guilt trip!
Looking at it from a diff perspective, back in the day,while I was raising hell, I never considered how she worried-hoping I was safe - where I've come to realize she did the best she could and I made the choices- regardless of how and why and/or what drove me to do the things I did...she loved me,she still does and I need to just rest in that. I know I mess up with my girls and hope when they are grown up they'll come to the same conclusion- I do the best I can and I love them wholeheartedly....
so maybe mom is just needing some reassurance or connection with her little girl who has reformed from her wild ways? just a guess...
2007-01-31 06:30:29 · answer #3 · answered by justsayin... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was younger I would have taken offense to it. But now that I have grown children and have been around the block a few times with my kids I'm able to give out little nuggets of wisdom, however younger people like you don't want to listen. Your mom probably does see things in your children that are rebellious and will lead to trouble, she's been there and done that. If she is always negative then tell her to be gentle with you and sparingly give out advice. Just don't cut her off, no one loves you like your mom, she probably means well.
2007-01-31 06:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you still living at home and she sees you as a rebellious teenager?
Are you a parent and she is remarking on how you are raising your children?
What she says could have entirely different meanings, depending on the above answers. Those are only the 1st 2 questions off the top of my head when I read your post, but there could be more.
2007-01-31 06:13:54 · answer #5 · answered by Road Warrior 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know... are your kids behaving badly?? You might want to NOT think of this as a critisism, and more like a heads up. If she sees the signs and they are actually there, you might want to take action NOW so they dont end up pregnant at 16, or addicts of some sort. You need to be an involved parent to ensure your kids are successful human beings. Noone wants to raise bums, so maybe just take it as a heads up and not so critical.
Id give anything in the world to have my mom critisize me, but she died in 01. Good luck
2007-01-31 06:28:38 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my mom use to do that. Guilt tripper.
I would ask her what is the deal with her thinking of her grandbabies that way. Then I would ask her for postive answers or even dont say anything nice because this guilt tripper isn't working with you.
Good luck! =)
2007-01-31 06:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by Jadesparrow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need for a guilt trip, but no need to dismiss her advise either! Daughters can continue to learn from their mothers, even tho they are mothers themselves. And grandma's often step over the line with advise (we got it from our mothers too!), but we mean well, and often just hope to help you avoid the mistakes that we made.
2007-01-31 06:13:54 · answer #8 · answered by renegade_dancer5678 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's right. Instead of getting in a mood, maybe you should consider what she said. Are they?
2007-01-31 06:12:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she had her chance and to mind her own freaking business.
2007-01-31 06:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋