My boyfriend and I have just found out that we are pregnant. His mother is...um... scary. To say the least. She is a complete control freak. I am so scared she is going to take over this pregnancy and make it more stressfull than it already is. Any advice?
2007-01-31 06:04:31 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Thanks for all the advice. I am 24 with a career and I do feel as though I am able and very competent to handle this baby. I do appreciate all your thoughts. I will read these when I am frustrated!!
2007-01-31 06:49:07 · update #1
let her know if she starts to get bossy that you are the one that is pregnant and you will and your boyfriend will handle the decision making during the pregnancy. you have to stand up to her or she will walk all over you, been there and done that!!
2007-01-31 06:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by puppy love 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same relationship with my mother in law. It caused so many fights between my husband and I that it got to a point that I made him talk to her on the phone when she called,and he eventually got to the same answers I did you need to tell her that it's your baby and you are gonna raise it the way the two of you want to raise it. If she feels the need to give you advice (which most of them do) let her know that it's just her opinion but you may not take her odvice in how to raise your child but to keep peace in the family thank her for her advice but make sure she knows that you may have a different opinion about it and you may not be using her advice all the time,but who knows she might have some good advice. So if she gets to overbearing during your pregnancy let your boyfriend deal with her you're gonna have enough issues to deal with.Congrats and good luck.
2007-01-31 14:21:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm an independent person and my fiancee's family is very different from mine. His sister nearly bit off my head when I said I wanted the baby to have my last name since it's a boy and my parents have no sons, while they have 2 other sons in their own family. You have to learn to have a backbone, because this is your child. It will def. be difficult, but just keep your distance from her for a bit and make sure your boyfriend is supportive of you through all of this. I'm afraid of my fiancee's family thinking I'm an ogre, but when I think about the pros and cons, I realize that I'm doing the right thing.
2007-01-31 14:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by keonli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid her. Get married and tell your man to ....actually how old are you. If you are young then maybe its okay for her to take control. If you are old enough to take care of yourself tell her to mind her own business and stay within the boundaries, Give her a list of what good grandmas do and tell her to do that instead of stressing you out. Its not good for you or the baby.
2007-01-31 14:13:15 · answer #4 · answered by karenmariawayne 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband is so worried of my family doing the same thing he freaks out and we get in fights so to make him happy I gave up all control to my husband and told him not to expect the same thing when we are raising our baby but right now I didn't want to stress he could.
If your mother in law tries to take over say look this is my baby you had yours you are more than welcome to help when needed but let me enjoy this too.
2007-01-31 14:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by neicee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to consider moving far away from her. My husband and I started our marriage about a thousand miles away from either of our parents - one of the best decisions we ever made because we learned to rely on each other and not our folks.
You may also want to think about getting a Douala, they act as your personal support and advocate to your doctor and family during your pregnancy and birth. Look the term up, it may just be what you're looking for.
2007-01-31 14:24:51 · answer #6 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take if from me, My mother in law tried to controll every aspect of my wedding. If it happens tell her, I am seeing a doctor, following every instruction and if you ahve a question you will as her, it might be good to put "With al due respect" in front of all that. Good Luck
2007-01-31 14:13:24 · answer #7 · answered by Tasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of good answers! For the sake of repetition, I will say be firm but polite. If that does not work, make your stand. It is your life, and your child, so it is your business. I have been lucky with my in-laws. I hope everything works out ok for you!
2007-01-31 14:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by iga k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are under 18 she has every right to. but if you both are mature have jobs and can support yourselves. she really has no saying in this ordeal. tell her to love it (the baby) or leave it.
2007-01-31 14:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by scottb62821 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her thats it's your 1st baby and that you'll think about takein her advise if she give's it but you really want to do this on your own
2007-01-31 14:10:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋