How did you adjust to it and how long did it take you?
What did you think of the "nice guy"
2007-01-31 06:01:05 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
yup heclee is right about punishing mr. nice. it wasn't his fault. been there, done that.
also; after living with a certain amount of turmoil in your life if you have a calm and peaceful existence it can actually cause strain within yourself and you can then become one to cause turmoil for no real reason simply so you are back in your element so to speak.
i know it sounds crazy but it's very true; i've been guilty of it in the past and realizing that it's happening is the first step to stopping it.
if you are mr. nice watch out of the signs, if you are seeing mr. nice go easy on him and watch yourself for those signs of agitation and irritation during the peace and quiet...
Good luck!
2007-01-31 06:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by rla26368 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone adjusts to it differently. But the move should be easy and nice because you are now in a healthy relationship. All that is different is you are not use to having someone treat you nice. Just go with the flow and open up to the person. Let them know if anything ever upsets you. Be yourself and the transition will go over nice.
2007-01-31 14:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by Tim VP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I managed to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship *(&a physically abusive one as well)....the adjustment to being with a truly wonderful man was, at times, difficult...simply b/c i couldn't accept that i was worthy of being treated so well......after a few months i began to realize that this man was not putting on an "act" that he really is Great guy.... i kept wondering when he would turn ...the Jekyl & Hyde syndrome....but he never turned, he was loving & supportive & was very understanding of what i had gone thru...& b/c of his ability to work with me & the open talks we had about everything, within about a year i had no doubts about his kindness & i had even began to believe i deserved to be treated with such kindness & love & that the reasons the other guy had been so bad to me was not my fault...(We've been married now 14 years, and it's more wonderful that words can describe...) It's possible to overcome the ugliness of abuse, & enjoy living again & accept being loved....
2007-01-31 14:15:50 · answer #3 · answered by rjsluvbug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I did. It took awhile and I spent at least a year being single. Luckily the "nice guy" ended up being THE guy and we're getting married in the fall. I think sometimes I acted crazy but he was always understanding. Now I feel like I've finally "healed". The most important thing I learned to have a good relationship is good communication.
2007-01-31 14:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by JM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm still with him after 23 years, Hes my whole world .it takes awhile to adjust when you go from a slap or a fist, to a hug or a kiss. it takes a long time before you feel really comfortable, I still sometimes will shy or turn my head to protect myself, not knowing im doing it . abusive or bad relationships are not something you can forget. but at least I can close my eyes and know im safe now.
2007-01-31 14:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went from a 3 year abusive relationship to a healthy one..it's just different ...but i learn to adjust and it's actually going pretty good. although at the beginning of my "healthy" relationship it was a little ruff because i wasn't used to being treated a certain way and also to treat my partner in a certain way..
i.e my ex and i used to fight and he would just go off on me and cuss his head off..now my bf would say i need time to cool off..then he would come back into the room and have a calm rational talk without any kind of hurtful words...
2007-01-31 14:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by Sexxssay? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have I was married and I got pregnant 1 month after the wedding the abuse started 4 months after I got pregnant. After my sons birth, I was out in and out of the hospital, I did press charges but he always said he would change. I finally left, I wanted my family and son to have me around. Since then 2 years later I started dating a wonderul man that does not ever raise his voice and is very emoitional and caring, he is more of a father to my son then his own father is. It is possible, I did go to therapy to help, but it is possible. It took me a long time to open up to him, but 6 years later we have been married for 4 years and I could never be happier.
2007-01-31 14:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in actually more than 3 emotionally abusive relationship they all cheated on me, they called me a itch, they talked crap 2 me and all i wud do was be nice to them and b nice. now i am with a great guy who i have been wit for 1 yr and 2 months and its just amazing...it took awhile to adjust to him and realize that he wont hurt me like the others but i got through it all and now i trust him fully....time heals all.
2007-01-31 14:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take long... I always nobody born to be a victim... We are capable to keep the abuse going on or stop it...Yes I was in one because my husband was obsesed and I did divorce him right away and let me tell you I go on with my life...I am the happys person yu can ever meet...You won't believe what I went through and here I am so didn't take me too long...
2007-01-31 14:07:00 · answer #9 · answered by nena_en_austin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once read somewhere it takes longer to get over an abusive relationship, than it does a healthy one. The key is understanding your behaviour, and breaking familiar patterns. Counselling definitely helps, once you really believe you deserve better you will start expecting AND GETTING better treatment. I wish you better choices in future.
2007-01-31 14:07:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋