I used to talk to this guy every day at work because our jobs were closely related. he was married but things quickly became sexually tense. we had an online affair. then he switched departments. i havent spoken to him in almost 6 months. then yesterday he called me to see how I was doing. he is now separated from his wife. he gave me his phone number and email and said how great it was to talk to me. i still have strong feelings for him but dont want to get myself in a mess. maybe I should play it cool and just keep my distance. what do you guys think?
2007-01-31 05:51:22 · 27 answers · asked by sheerah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep up the communication. But, do not date him until he is divorced. He could reconcile ore even if he does not reconcile, you could be subpoenaed in his divorce.
2007-01-31 05:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that he is telling you the thruth. Many men ply the "victim" just so he can get some on the side and get back home to the unsuspecting wife.
Divorce is expensive and can take forever, so I say, if he is GETTING a divorce (i.e. has a lawyer, has a court date etc) I say, go for it. If he is just "separated" and exploring the field, stay away for a while, you don't want to be the "transitional" relationship.
Be friends, go to LUNCH together aND FIND OUT FROM OTHERS WHAT THE REAL DEAL IS. Don't let him fool you with sad stories. He can feed you bs forever and never get divorced.
Good luck
2007-01-31 06:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your distance. He's had one online affair that you know of and hard telling what else he's done in the 6 months that you didn't speak to him. It's obvious that whatever he did wasn't the right thing and he's willing to cheat before his divorce is final.
2007-01-31 05:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what? I'm only 18 years old and you may or may not want to take advice from me. I say give it time. You may have strong feelings for him, but what if maybe they talk it out and want to work out their marriage... I mean.. I can see it both ways though, even though he had a wife basically he led you on. Now you have these feelings for him. Or, maybe you've had them. But, you know what girl, you do what you think you should do, because he is seperated, so basically he's not attached to anyone... Just play it safe. Good luck!
2007-01-31 05:58:28 · answer #4 · answered by GiNkNee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No b/c in God's eyes he is still married. So don't get emotionally attached. And I agree, you should keep your distance. Let him make the decisions without your influence. If another woman comes into the picture then that's on him and her, and there's no need for you to take on an extra load of baggage.
2007-01-31 05:56:49 · answer #5 · answered by unknown 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First he is still married so NO you shouldn't see a married man. And ask yourself this question-When he goes back to his wife and he will go back, what is going to become of you. Are you willing to see a married man who could go back to his wife at any given moment and leave you heartbroken. Why put yourself through this!!
2007-01-31 06:00:56 · answer #6 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on what you want.... the "bridge" out of the marriage is never the one the guy ends up with, so if you don't mind being a bridge, and want just a good time, what the hell. But if you are looking for marriage, a commitment, a permanent relationship, this one isn't it.... So, hon, you decide.
2007-01-31 05:57:20 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would keep your distance. You don't want to come between him and his wife. Let them get divorced, and then see him if you want. Keep in mind that most relationships, right after a divorce, don't work out.
2007-01-31 05:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by Faith 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would cut off any contact with him until his divorce is final. Let him know up front that you don't want to get caught in a mess and that if he chooses to divorce his wife he knows how to reach you when the divorce is final.
If they'll do it WITH you they'll do it TO you...keep that in mind.
2007-01-31 06:09:41 · answer #9 · answered by Jacob's Mommy (Plus One) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're wanting to date a married man. what could be possibly offer you? He's still married! Find a single man for a change. If you can't resist, just remember what he was doing with you while he was still married-- how could you ever trust him?
2007-01-31 05:55:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋