I work overnight full time and take care of our two boys (Ages 9 and 4). I repeatedly ask my wife to do the simple things (pick up, clean off the dishes, try to help out) and I do the major cleaning, cooking. She just won't do it. She'll sit and do puzzles all night. I'm so angry, I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore. I don't sleep in the same bed and I've stopped doing the housework altogether. Literally, I stay in the extra bedroom and just want to stay away from everybody. Last year we moved to another state for her career and I left my career behind because I know that I can make it anywhere but she is limited. I really feel like I'm going out of control here.
2007-01-31 05:50:22 · 23 answers · asked by therazorsx 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me just add something for those who may think that I'm being selfish.
For our fifth anniversary I bought her a $4000 dollar diamond solitare and I received (I'm not kidding) a SHOE SHINE box. If it weren't so funny, I would cry.....
I love the self-rightous that say "too bad" you have children therefore you must stay. That's a BS arguement....
2007-01-31 06:53:06 · update #1
She definitely has issues! Is she depressed? That will make people want to not participate in life. And you need to talk to her. Get her some help.
2007-01-31 05:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by Jewel 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would try to talk to her first, ask her if she is depressed, (most know when they are) However, i would tell her to go to the doctor and get medicine if she is, (my sister is like that). The situation that you appear to be in isn't healthy for you, your wife, and most important the kids, how does she take care of the kids? And maybe she may need to have a life outside of the home, go out with her mom sister, friend. I am not talking about bars etc.. just women things away from home. And again she may just be lazy, i also know someone like that (kills me- i don't like lazy people). I have a signifacant other and when he comes home it is to a clean woman and house, and lots of love and understanding. LOL, I really hope things work out, and communication is the key to a better life.
2007-01-31 06:08:20 · answer #2 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at the brightside, she is playing puzzles all night and not online cheating on you. If you both can afford it get a cleaning service twice a month to do the major cleaning. Like you said you both are working, so just because you work nights does not give you an excuse not to share in the house work.
If you talk to her about equally sharing responsibility I am sure you both could work something out.
2007-01-31 06:03:17 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of your children, do not give up yet. I'm not one to recommend therapy/counseling so here is my advice.
Write down everything you hate about the relationship and then confront her about it (the messy house, lack of intimacy, etc.). Confront her in a calm manner and do not make her feel attacked. Together try to figure out solutions to each of your problems. She may tell you things that she does not like and some things may be hurtful. The key is to deal with this like an adult - don't get angry/aggressive and don't scream or raise your voice.
Work things out together. Remember why you married her and why you love her. Good Luck!
2007-01-31 05:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take care of my 5 year old daughter and 2 year old son. They are the world to me. I work as a mortgage broker so my schedule is flexable. However, my wife chooses to go out with her "friends" and not enjoy the compay of our children. She quit being a wife over a year ago....I cook, Clean, etc....Love taking the kids out to dinner etc...without her. She only makes things crazy. She does not want to be with us...so I filed for a divorce after a year of her acting like a spoiled teenager. We will be better off and I finally have put some control back in my life. I attempted to make it work for the kids....but the kids deserve my undivded attention. Not a father wondering if his wife is going to be home before 10PM....I feel great and the kids are HAPPY!!!!
2007-02-02 18:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by 151mph 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not yet.
1) Get a daytime job
2) If you can't get a daytime job, on your days off, be scarce. Take a class, join a sports team, take up golf lessons, go to the library for free courses, etc.
3)Don't get involved with someone at this point. Wait until (if ) you split up. It will only confuse you more now.
It seems that she has lost respect for you and you for yourself because you are so good to her. There are some women who can't take it. She appears to be one of them. Do things for yourself. As icing on the cake, start an activity that involves the kids but not her, like a bowling league. Watch the change. Sorry. I know people don't like games but this is real life.
2007-01-31 06:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a hard thing, this is coming from someone that has done it twice . The first time was bad but the second time has been wonderful. If you and your spouse are not working together the marriage will never work. It will just be convenient and you will begin to hate eachother. End it now, so you can get on with your life, and she can get on with hers..
2007-01-31 05:57:02 · answer #7 · answered by Rickki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking it over with her. maybe she will understand how you feel. i know that girls usually do all the working around the house but its a good change that a man does it for once. tell her that since you work all the time you may not have enough time to clean the house. hopefully she will agree that she will start helping around the house more often. but whatever you do, don't get a divorce with her because you will regret it. maybe not right away but you will.
2007-01-31 05:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by gaypride 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all you say is true, than yes you seek a divorce, it's pretty evident there is longer any love in this family. I wouldn't have been foolish enough to start taking all the houseful duties if I had of been you. She doesn't love you and looks like you don't love her, she is to demanding. Leave and file for divorce you certainly have grounds for a divorce so use them.
2007-01-31 05:58:01 · answer #9 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you could have stopped the question about divorce in the first 2 lines. The answer is No, you have kids, and the kids are far more important that you or your wife.
2007-01-31 06:01:27 · answer #10 · answered by I'm all yours 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling... you're going to have to convince her that you are not happy with her behavior and it's disrupting your marriage. Perhaps there are things that she's not happy with also. If counseling doesn't help, you'll need to decide if she and your marriage means more to you than your peace of mind... once you answer that, you'll know should you pursue a divorce or not.
2007-01-31 06:01:43 · answer #11 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋