Why is it that a girl will go with you tell you that you are the one they want for life as you are exactly what they want in a man ..then when they marry you .they set about changing the way you look .think.act where you go. who you talk to and what to say..if you have a favourite shirt ..etc..they want you to get rid of it..they don't like the plants you tenderly and lovingly nurtured..you say your not keen on animals living in the house ..and they go out and by a rat ..or something,,why can't they leave things alone...?
2007-01-31 05:48:42 · 25 answers · asked by silver44fox 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're right. Some women tend to do that. And they know - before they marry you that they are going to do it. I have heard women actually say, "He has potential", or "I'll fix that", etc.
I think the most important question a man should ask a woman just BEFORE he asks her to marry him is "What would you change about me". Get an honest answer out of her.
You can tell from the answer whether or not she is a "fixer" or not. And you can tell whether or not you even want to ask the second question or not.
2007-01-31 05:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by Vivian D 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is actually a favouite topic of my BFand mine ( we like the way we are, although we have an agreement he'll never grow moshtashe and I'll never get fat!)
Some ladies love themselves more then their partners. They believe that their actions equate to equality in the relasonship. When it comes to compramise's it's often the husband,bf who is forced to change while the female counterpart gets her way.
Most couples are becoming more and more like this, I watch a lot of my Boyfriends and my couple friends and it is more often then not the women who wears the trousers. examples of them changing their partners are.
While dating girlfriend A had no issue with partner playing sunday football once married and she had his baby she delievered and ultimation that if hedid not cease football she would take the baby and leave. he complied.
Before living together one lady we know pretended to let her partner make all the desions once she had moved in she scream,cried and throw fits to get her own way. When he finally began standing up to her and refusing to give in she left him just before new years so he would have to spend the season alone ("to show him") during this time he made new friends and carried on, however they got back together and bam!!! his new friends didn;t even last a week.
My boyfriend and I agree some women (and men lets be fair) are selfish plain and simple. They can't stand for you to get your own way as they see it as you having something without them. They take you choices and life away from you. The sad thing is this is how they show they love you,they only way to get them to change is for them to have some serious consouling.
PS I think you should print out the responses to this show her and say "I'm sick of the way you act, I think you should see how the way you behave is seen by others."
2007-01-31 15:24:48 · answer #2 · answered by Char Black 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it takes too people to make a marriage work
but maybe you should have seen more of the mother in law too see what kind of wife your girl would make.
are you being a little over sensitive about her wanting to change you or are you looking for a way out of the marriage
maybe you should have lived with her without the weeding band first. she may not be trying to change you as a person but then again she might be only you can decide on this score if you won't to accept things as they are or say no too what she's doing
2007-01-31 13:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by AARONLEE AND SASHA 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is a small price to pay for love.
I asked myself this question for many years, and I decided that I am ready to give up some of my freedom of choice, to be able to stay with the one I love.
You know when you meet someone & you are in love, you are dealing with a different human being. He/She came from different culture –may be-, different personality, dreams, aims, temper, interest…. Etc. same like you do.
Therefore, the only way to keep love & peace in the relationship is to Compromise.
That is what we did & now we are both happy.
Sometimes differences are interesting.
I do not think I will be fine with someone who think, act, feel & re-act like me…
My God… That is so boring.
cheers
2007-01-31 14:00:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This doesn't sound like a marriage. This sounds like a dictatorship. You obviously need to set some personal boundaries in your relationship with your significant other. My suggestion is to try some individual counseling to help you with your communication and ability to assert yourself and your needs. I think if you do, you'll rock the boat and she'll have to shape up or ship out::::::::::::: Good Luck!
2007-01-31 13:53:21 · answer #5 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
WOMEN WILL ALWAYS WANT TO CHANGE SOMETHING. YOU FIRST HAD TO SET UP SOME VERY STRONG GROUND RULES BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED. BEFORE I GOT MARRIED I ADVISED THAT I WOULD GO OUT FOR A DRINK AFTER WORK NOW AND THEN . I WOULDN'T GO EVERYDAY JUST NOW AND THEN BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO ARGUE OR FIGHT ABOUT IT. IF SO THEN I WASN'T GOING TO MARRY HER. ON THE OTHER HAND YOU NEED TO BE OPEN TO SOME CHANGE. A WOMEN CAN CLEAN YOU UP (SOME GUYS REALLY NEED IT, SOME DON'T) BUT THERE ARE LIMITS. WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS ASK HER TO CHANGE SOMETHING ABOUT HER. SOMETHING YOU WISH SHE WOULD CHANGE. PUT THE BALL IN THE OTHER COURT. IF YOU CHANGE SO SHOULD SHE BE WILLING TO CHANGE.
2007-01-31 14:08:37 · answer #6 · answered by DEL _INSACRAMENTO 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i can't understand - if u don't like anything what's going on between u 2 why can't u just walk away? or kick her out? life is too short to sit and reminiscence about why did she do this and why did she do that and why is she that way. life sucks and at the end we die, so hurry up to live
2007-01-31 14:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would be a great idea for you both to go to marriage counseling together. You'll want to get some good habits started in your relationship. A good website is below.
2007-01-31 13:52:23 · answer #8 · answered by Faith 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Suggest you tell her ecactly that. She is probably trying to 'improve ' you - just say she knew what you were like before you got married so stop trying to fix what ain't broke i.e. you
2007-01-31 15:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by D B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to be like that. I think its immaturity. Now that I'm older I'm much more chilled out and don't try to make everything perfect. It's also exhausting and can lead to a nervous breakdown.
2007-01-31 14:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lucy Lake 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋