Can a marriage in which one spouse has abused the other and the other spouse has committed adultery be saved? Should it be saved? Or is it best to cut your losses and move on?
No kids...
2007-01-31 05:47:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
move on... both of ya'll seriously lack respect for each other. It sounds like there is so much hurt involved it would always taint the relationship.
2007-01-31 05:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most psychologists take the point of view that trying to reform an abuser is almost a lost hope. The patterns of behavior that make up an abuser are very hard to change.
This is a website that gives lots of good information about abusers and victims and the psychology involved:
http://www.drirene.com/
The abuser:
http://www.drirene.com/abuserpages.htm
The victim:
http://www.drirene.com/victimpages.htm
I think you really should spend some time looking at these pages. Then you might want to discuss what you've learned with a psychologist or therapist.
FWIW, the most futile exercise in the whole world is trying to change someone else's behavior. There is no lever in the world long enough, no force strong enough, to make someone change their behavior who does not want to change. Absolutely a waste of time. If trying to save your marriage involves trying to force your husband to change, I'd say forget it and move on. Your behavior is the only behavior you have any control over.
Good luck.
2007-01-31 06:02:57 · answer #2 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, this marriage should not go on. Men or women can not abuse one another and keep living a lie. Adultery is a sin in the eyes of god and in a marriage, I've been thier, except there was a baby involved and things got uygly. Its best for all to go seperate ways.
2007-01-31 06:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by mario b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No kids involved all adultery and abused has been committed, I don't believe in all this counseling mess. They just take your money and you no better off than you were to start with , I don't like counsel, their like a psychiatrist after all your money and accomplished nothing. I've never seen any couple go to counseling and they stay together, it isn't one bit help full cause when it's gone it's gone and all this talking to you is a bunch of bull. If you aren't smart enough to know for your on self all the detail, don't waste your money. Time to hit the divorce court.
2007-01-31 06:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is very easy for someone to say move on. Since you are asking this question it sounds like part of you would like things to change and work out. Sometimes with the stress of work and every day life we take our partners for granted and forget why we married them. See if your partner is interested in working on things and getting counseling. If both of you make an effort things can work and your marriage can be saved. Put the past behind and work on the future. Good Luck
2007-01-31 06:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a terrible environment to live in but love can concur all we all been in the dirt made some bad mistakes in this life but learning from these mistakes is the key. if you love the person and they love you try to work things out and do better many marriage have survived under these conditions you are not alone in this situation so don't feel this way just try to ask forgiveness and move on with your lives if the other do not want to make amends go on maybe you will find the right person for you in life
2007-01-31 06:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by mishoney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, is not worth it.
My ex-h abused me and cheated on me and I tried to patch things up over and over again. 6 months in counselling and 8 years later, I finally had enough. I wish that I would have made the decision sooner and not waste my youth with an undeserving man.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Cut your loses and move on while you can.
Good luck
2007-01-31 05:58:38 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be saved...with lots of patience, counselling and both have repentance hearts to recommit to one another.
These days, the REAL Challenge is staying together and not getting an divorce. Too many quit too easy than fight for their marriage to work it out.
If I had called it quits the many times my husband and I had fights then it would been divorced many times.
2007-01-31 05:52:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. Cut your losses and move on.
2007-01-31 05:51:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love can resolve alot!! But then that's not always enough. Seek counseling.
2007-01-31 06:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by K.W. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋