It's boring, how do I make it fun again. We have a one year old child.
2007-01-31 05:37:48 · 40 answers · asked by davidnicolewilson 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not a whore-thanks for the comment you ***.........I love my husband very much. I have never cheated on my husband and I never will. He and my son are my world. You need a life.
2007-01-31 06:10:44 · update #1
Marriage is a long term proposition. The "honeymoon phase" lasts about 2 years. Then, it is what you make of it. Successful marriages are the ones where both partners worked on it. Just sitting around and not working on the marriage is backsliding. You are always moving forward or backward and the choice is yours. How does one work on a marriage? Honest and open communication. Tell your spouse of your concern about not having fun. He may feel the same way. The two of you should be able to come up with some new things to do. And, see if you two can get out of the house without your infant child at least one time per week - a date. Good luck.
2007-01-31 05:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't always fun - it's hard work. Sometimes you feel like the only conversations you have are Did you pay the electric bill? and who's watching the baby?
No one ever promised it would be all roses. I've been married for 13 years - a lot of it fun and wonderful; and a lot of times I've wondered why I married the big lump on the couch. But marriage is a committment - you don't give up on it because it's not fun right now.
Make time for each other. My husband and I started setting aside every other Friday night as "date night". We do something alone together on those nights - maybe a nice dinner and a movie - maybe just going for a quiet walk depending on the finances :) But always try to remember that you were boyfriend and girlfriend before you were Mom and Dad.
I also think it's nice to talk about the fun times in the past... "remember when we went...", or "remember when you said..." If you can find something to laugh about together - it will always make you feel closer.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-05 14:56:22 · answer #2 · answered by erismom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things got really tough for me and my wife right about the 1 year mark of our child. You're just starting to realize how much time and effort a child takes, and you can't give or receive all the attention you used to.
That said, I agree with several of the other posters. You have to find ways to make it fun again. I leave little love notes on the screen saver, and I download music for her, and leave little surprises here and there. I deleted my entire collection of nude photos, and even the scanty Luis Royo desktops that my wife wasn't fond of. I started taking kung fu classes and lost wieght and put on muscle. Now my 30 year old wife has a husband that 21 year olds flutter their eyes at. And I ignore them.
We reminisce about the old times. Sometimes, I'll just sit on the floor at her feet, lay my head in her lap, then pull off her shoes and rub her feet. Bring her a screwdriver (not the tool, the drink). Run a hot bath. Little things that say what words cannot.
Your going to feel bored a bit. Spice it up. Lose a little sleep, make a little love. It doesn't have to be sex. Just some cuddling is good. I like to take one night a week and put my head on her shoulder instead of the other way around when we go to bed.
Just like your child, things at this point are all about the baby steps.
2007-02-06 13:40:20 · answer #3 · answered by Lokishadow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married and happy - not bored! But I can see how people can become lackadaisical in their marriages.
I read some excellent advice once in the book "The Seven Habits of Highly Affective People".
In order to stay in love you have to use love as a verb. If you actively 'love' your husband by (for example) handing him a warm towel when he gets out of the shower, give him a kiss for no reason, give him a hug after a hard day at work, tell him something you appreciate about him "I love it when you tuck our child in at night, you are a great dad", or better yet - tell him you love what he does for you! "I love it when you buy me flowers for no reason". It's only by actively loving your husband that you can be 'in love'.
Are you bored with your life and secretly blaming it on your husband for some reason? Maybe start journaling and figure out what's 'missing', you might be surprised to find that it's not your marriage that you are bored with.
I think with children, it is easy to get stuck in a romantic rut too - how about start eating by candlelight - even if the the dinner is mac and cheese! Little things to keep it fun :)
I hope that helps!
2007-01-31 05:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by lady luck 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send him on a scavenger hunt. Leave little clues for him all over town. Make sure he buys a few fun items along the way, say whip cream or that toy you've always wanted from the adult book store. His final clue will lead him to you waiting for him in a hotel room in nothing but some sexy under garment. Then he will know what all those items are for you had him pickup.
Try picking up a stranger (role playing). Go out to a bar and wait for him to arrive later and pretend you two dont know each other. See if he can work some magic on you and take you home with him. Maybe even mix it up by watching each other flirt with another person knowing you are only doing it for fun. Unless you want to bring a 3rd home to join you two? hehe
2007-01-31 06:27:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now this question makes me angry. I lost my husband to suicide 2 years ago and I guess I feel that anyone who still has their spouse to enjoy, to love, to honor, should work on it.
As long as you still have a chance to love than you should try. Maybe I'm just angry, bitter, resentful. But really. Think about not having any choice in the matter. Think about seeing your husband, your wife leave you violently. Think about him with a gun in his hand, her writing a note to you. Them leaving you with nothing but questions. No honor, no love. Nothing but guilt.
I can't go back and change that day. There is nothing I can do now to make anything better for him.
Help each other. Think about being alone, without each other to hold. It's not all about fun, it's not all about boredom. Think about why you came together in the first place. what it might be like on the planet if the other were to be suddenly gone. Please don't be petty. Don't be childish. Look at each other and realize that it can be gone in an instant. Life is fragile and precious.
2007-01-31 05:50:06 · answer #6 · answered by Ande 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well if you thought marriage was all fun, welcome to reality. Like anything in life you have to make marriage work, hence make it fun. Life changes drastically after a child is born, because it takes away the freedom you once had, so no more spur of the moment things to do, now you have to think about your child first before making any plans. The bedroom is still your private arena, make the most of it.
Take joy in raising your child together, if you have family close and trust them with your child, leave your child with them and make a date night out. Try doing family fun things together, there is enough info online. Try hanging out with people who have young kids too, you have to let go of your single and/or married friends without kids. You child is young now, but as he/she grows older you will get some of your life back.
If you don't take charge of your married life and let it go as it, soon you will add to the divorce statistical.
2007-01-31 05:52:02 · answer #7 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope i dont get tired of being married at all... If you are bored spice it upa nd try new things in and out of the bedroom... Go out on dates once in a while... Leave the child with a sitter and get a hotel room for a weekend get away for the 2 of you. Things like this make if fun and new again!
2007-01-31 05:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone eventually gets tired of being married. That is part of the difficulty staying married.
Try something new, go somewhere new, go to a different restaurant (if you've never eaten at a Greek place, go. Never tried sushi? Go).
Recall all the reasons you got married in the first place, and share them with your spouse. It's too easy to be complacent and forget to communicate the little things, the ones that really make the difference.
2007-01-31 05:48:33 · answer #9 · answered by lowflyer1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont mind the jerk that called you a whore but i ended up being the guy that married women cheated with a couple of times it was fine for me no commitment and all but dont go that route you just have to find a common interest. something you both enjoy and do that. maybe spice up the bedroom life a little that always excites a marriage and spend time together with your child. it will be at a lull for a little while until the kid grows up more then you can get out and do more things
2007-01-31 05:52:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋