my 14 year old has a lot of anger an she gets angery and takes it out on everyone around her what should i do i have tried grounding her she is adha and she is really a good kid but when the adhd kicks in i can not control her . she has even gotten violent tword me and my husband she was on meds but they did not help.
2007-01-31 05:28:59 · 20 answers · asked by mother of 4 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i have had her in counseling and on adderell cetira concerta and none of those work and i try to do things with her but she never wants to do ant thing
2007-01-31 05:49:32 · update #1
Sadly, alot of the angst is her age. As far as her adhd do not let her use it as an excuse. I too am ADHD, and have seen many kids/parents use it as an excuse.
If her school work can tolerate it, take her off all the meds. They make you jumpy and can be contributing to her anger. Other than that, discipline her. Take away privildges etc. A friend of mine took their daughters door of the hinges. When she got in trouble they took EVERYTHING away. She had her school uniform she washed everyday, pjs, basic toiltries and a mattress and blanket on the floor. Everytime she did something good they gave her something back. It's amazing how they stop taking things for granted and appreciating you that much more.
If she gets violent with you, get drastic with her. Call the police-they will scare some since into her. Pretend you are thinking about pressing asault charges against her. She will cool out.
2007-01-31 06:16:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definatley take her to a doctor some medicines may not work either I had adhd when I was younger and my parents got me invloved with sports ones that are aggressive where I could take my anger out and not actually hurt anyone and it will ware down the adhd so there wont be any room for agressivness after a game or a practice try to get her to talk about whats upsetting her and dont push it if she doesnt want to talk give her her space and if she wants to be left alone leave her alone let her come to you and never apologize for yelling or getting upset thats when she knows she won and then she will keep on with the out bursts then try therapy... Its not cheap but at least their she does not feel threatened and she can realease anger on a stress ball or pillows just some other outlet then anger! thank you hope I can help again!
2007-01-31 05:38:22 · answer #2 · answered by Brittany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was in high school, I had a best friend who was ADHA on meds. Nothing could control her. She hit hard just to say "Hi", and shouted constantly.
I taught her to knit one day when we were freshmen in high school. She loved it, and started knitting all the time. Within 3 months, she was off the meds and calm.
She went all the way through high school, knitting all the time, in class, at the games, sitting at home in the car. She made scarves and hats for every guy on each team throughout her 4 years in high school, and never went back on the meds.
I'm not saying that your daughter would want to knit, but maybe there is something she could take up that would keep her "busy" this way, expending the excess energy, while at the same time leaving her free to pay attention to the world around her.
Maybe she could punch colored paper and make confetti to sell at party stores, or at school games? Something pretty mindless, but constant.
2007-01-31 05:40:12 · answer #3 · answered by Vivian D 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get her into counseling RIGHT AWAY! These things escalate. Do not be fooled to think that all of the problems are directly related to ADHD...that is rarely the case with any kid...even the worst case of ADHD. NO... I am not a doctor, but was a middle school teacher for 11 years. I know it is hard to see or admit to yourself, but your daughter could have some serious problems. In 11 years I saw multiple pregnancies, a huge number of drug addicts, self mutilators, and suicides (3 successful) and I do not teach in a low socio-economic area. Most of the parents were completely unaware of their child's behavior....but all said the child seemed depressed or angry. Try not to get angry with your daughter....but please get her help before it becomes something that is out of her control. I cannot tell you how horrible a low self-esteem can be for teenage girls these days, and anger is one of the first signs of trouble!
2007-01-31 05:36:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There are so many different meds. You need to find the right one.. before she hurts you or herself. My neice was on riddlin.. til she was about 14.. and now she is on something else. Ask the doctor about what new meds are out there. Anger issues can get uncontrolable. Also at 14 her hormones are changing. I know you are stressing over this.. but making a medication change could make everything much better. I wish you the best and good luck.
2007-01-31 05:37:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
while i believe adhd may be a real condition i think it is highly over rated...i think parents and doctors use this as an excuse when a child is really just out of control...i agree with the lady above me...boot camp is probably the best answer. It would be for her own good...she needs tough love. Other wise she is just going to step all over you...believe me, my husband and i are going through the same thing with my 13yo step daughter. She has a lot of ambition....but she's going to end up in juvie if she keeps on the way she is...best to nip it in the bud while you can.
2007-01-31 05:58:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 10 and she takes Rita line. However there is science to the meds and everyone body reacts differently to specific meds. You need to consult you doctor who can refer you to a specialist, Psychiatrist. ADHD is just coming to light over the years. It is nothing to worry about as there are prominent politicians and business executives who live with ADHD. It is all a mater with coping with it. You can find a great deal of info on this, http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cfm has extremely good info. My daughter takes anywhere from a half pill to one full pill a day. It has a lasting effect of 3 to 4 hours depending on dosage. The medication helps with the focusing on tasks. Grounding or harsh punishment wont fix it. But you and your husband need to be patient with her as hard as it is. I have been there and now understand her situation. Once you can deal with it it will be easier for your daughter. When she is acting up you need to keep calm and be firm. As an example if she wants something now IE watch TV, you need to tell her she needs to finish her homework first and stay firm. It will be hard on everyone but remember its not her fault nor yours.
2007-01-31 05:52:23 · answer #7 · answered by STEPHEN S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she play sports? I have heard that kids with ADHD settle down if they play a lot of sports! I actually knew a guy that had take meds until he got in High School! He got off of them when he started playing football! My brother has ADHD and he takes medicine; maybe you could take you daughter to the doctor and they could put her on a dosage that is right for her body weight! My brother takes Concerta, Guanfacine, Strattera, and Trazadone! Hope that helps...and good luck with your daughter!!
2007-01-31 05:34:19 · answer #8 · answered by krazy_gal04 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I really feel for you my 12 yr old is autistic ,she has become more and more hyper lately,keep in mind that they are going through puberty ,that does not help either.
I find keeping them busy helps ,if she is not in some sort of program you should consider it ,like sports or arts and crafts ,something to keep her occupied.Piece of advice
help her on your own don't let anyone tell you what you should do with your child,i mean professionals ,they don't deal with it 24/7 support her, love her ,it will pass
it's just a stage she's going through!
2007-01-31 06:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by selma b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BOOT CAMP believe she wont get better unless something drastic happens now. remember 14 when you knew it all and everyone was out to get you the teachers didnt like you and so on. tough love i believe is the only thing that works for teenagers.
dont use adha as a excuse and i dont think drugs are the answer either. your just taken one and replacing with another
2007-01-31 05:34:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋