how does death affect your life?

Question

i lost a coworker last night. he was young, died in his sleep and his wife found him. now I find myself contemplating every aspect of my life because i'm still not sure its real. I know this is a normal reaction, i think it's part of shock. i have this overwhelming need to make some kind of contact with everyone in my life. i feel like i need to love passionately and live without reserve, to hell with mopping the floor tonight i'm gonna play a game with the kids.

we all contemplate life when someone in our life dies but why do we wait until its too late? why can't we live life this way all of the time? how was your life affected and what thoughts went through your head when someone in your life died?

Answer 1

No matter when it happens, no matter how prepared or unprepared we are, death is always a shock. The grief process is normal and you should not deny your feelings. I lost my dad after a 25 year battle with heart disease. I thought I was ready, I thought I would accept it, but the grief still attacks me after two years. Its normal to contemplate your mortality after someone you know dies. It's part of life and its a good thing, because if that contemplation makes you a better, more accepting, more understanding person, its part of the legacy of the person you lost. It's their last gift.

Answer 2

Sometimes, death makes you rethink life choices. Right now, you are so close to the shock, you're numb and the only thing that you're feeling is the shock of the event.
Major life events like divorce, death, loss of a job and such things should follow a natural order in the emotions and you're a long way from acceptance and moving on.
Currently, you're at the shock/denial stage. The next one will most likely be the anger. You might get "good and mad." You might start questioning the 'Why?' and determining that "it's not fair!!!"
Yes, this is what happens when the death of someone close to us occurs. You will get through this. It will take a while. Be patient with yourself and if you get stuck in any of these emotions for too long, you might want to talk to a clergyperson or a therapist. To put it in perspective, remember when you lost something early in life. Didn't it feel that the pain never would go away? But it did, didn't it? Things upset us for a moment, then it resolves itself within us as we remember the good about the person and the impact they had on our lives, on the community and on their families. One day, we find ourselves smiling when we think of our departed as we remember some quirk, some joke, something...
Best wishes. You will smile again when you remember your friend. Give it time.

Answer 3

oh girl, I glad this death has made you change your mind.... i dont know how much you believe in God, but it seems to me that it was a signal from Him, to let you know you need to make a change and live a happier life. I havent had anyone close to me dying, but I have feared being close to death many times, and all I can conclude is that we never know when death will call us, we never know how... just enoy your life girl travel, teach your kids, and help others before your journey comes to an end.... about your friend, hes a lucky man because he died on his sleep... best way to die, no suffering, no trouble. at least I wish I died the same way. Personally, before I die, theres a couple of things I want to accomplish, maybe you should start writting a list.... keep thinking, save your thoughts and enjoy

Answer 4

I am really sorry about your loss. It's never easy, when my sister passed away I felt like a part of myself had died or like a part of me was missing for a long time. It's been three years now and its got a bit easier but holidays are the hardest. As for why do we wait til someone close to us passes away I think we just get caught up in the day to day life and routine but when a death happens it makes us stop and think.

Answer 5

My husband went to work on April 28, 1996 and I didn't kiss him goodbye. He was killed in an accident. Since that day I go out of my way to let everyone I care about know how I feel towards them. I wanted to die, too. Every year on that day I still get so sad and depressed. I've even attempted suicide so I could be with him. I couldn't get romantically involved with anyone because who can compare to a dead man? I finallly got better with help from a grief support group. It's very hard to know that at any moment someone you love can just be snatched away....

Answer 6

Good question! Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. You do need to pick up the pieces and move on somehow. I know it's going to be hard. I've had people in my life die at different parts of their lives. One couple that I know had a little boy die a few days after he was born! On the other hand, my grandfather passed away last fall, he just turned 94! I can't explain it. It just happens! Hope I've helped you out in your grieving process!

Answer 7

I'm sorry for your loss. My mother passed 9/05 and she suffered in the hospital for 2 weeks. She was my best friend. We laughed, cried...and shared everything in our lives together. The only thing that sticks in my mind now, is her laying there ..lifeless. After ALL the great memories of her I have, it's those horrible last few weeks that are the most vivid. I'm sure time will heal these visions of her. Take a minute to close your eyes and remember your friend and all the great memories of him. God Bless

Answer 8

My best chum committed suicide purely about 1 / 4 century in the past. That has probable had the most profound result. He died in the front of me, I nonetheless have undesirable visions of this, I nonetheless sense his blood on me. My grandparent's all died before I grew to grow to be 10 so their deaths have also had an result. Out of four grandparents I not in any respect had the prospect to get to understand any of them. How did this impression me? My chum's lack of life very nearly destroyed me. He grow to be better than a chum, he grow to be my fiance,we were waiting to graduate to get married. We talked many times of the little residing house we ought to personal, the jobs we ought to have, the little ones we ought to strengthen, the existence we ought to stay. We dreamed massive. and then in a unmarried instantaneous it grow to be throughout. i grow to be on my own. I lost it. no man or woman knew a thanks to envision with me, i do not even bear in ideas that any one tried. ultimately, I had to flee, and at 17 I dropped out of school, ran remote from residing house, and spent a pair years wandering round North u . s . a ., hunting for myself again. That grow to be a disaster. i began abusing drugs and alcohol~I had continuously experimented, yet this grew to grow to be abuse. I worked menial jobs for paltry wages. ultimately i began dozing less than bridges and in alleys, stealing nutrition after going days with out ingesting. His lack of life harm quite a number of people, as did my moves afterwards. As for my grandparents~my relatives's weird and wonderful. no man or woman's close, no man or woman extremely talks. I have a handful of ideas, truly purely bits and products. i have not in any respect sat down and talked with any of them, not in any respect had particular moments, journeys to the fishing hollow, or baking a pie with my grandma. there is purely not something there. I hardly reminisce or look into relatives images. it really is too painful. All those years, all that element wasted. lengthy previous, not in any respect on hand again.

Answer 9

It..hurts others which r close then the one who died