If you smoke cigarettes, or drink alcohol, but you're NOT out of control with it.....and the person KNEW you smoked or drank when you went into the relationship.....
One day, they just up and say, "If you don't stop drinking/smoking, then it's over".........no ifs , ands or buts.
And keep in mind that you're not OVERDOING any of it.....it's just the fact that you do it and they don't, and they don't like it.
What are your thoughts on this?
2007-01-31 04:36:14 · 50 answers · asked by spun_up_06 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
pour my beer over his/her head while i blew smoke in their face!
2007-01-31 04:39:40 · answer #1 · answered by mongo862001 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Well If the relationship has been good and you have been in it for a decent amount of time it may be difficult to just walk away over something that really shouldn't be done to begin with. Smoking no matter how often or not isn't healthy. So it wouldn't hurt if you stopped anyway even if there is an ultimatum. As for that, that is a whole other story. If this person new going in then it is their problem and if they dont like it they should leave not you. I guess it all really depends on if you love this person who gave the ultimatum or not. I mean the smoking thing should be stopped anyway for health reasons. And if you drink a few drinks once a week that isn't bad as long as you dont get sloshed every time. This is a hard question to answer. If you love this person maybe you can come to a compromise?
2007-01-31 04:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a pretty irrational request if you're not out of control with your habits...
I think a person is out of line when they ask you to change the way you live your life - yet alone TELL you! This is something that they need to consult you about, not order you to do.
I'd give the person a chance to "cool down" and recant the demand. It may be something to consider doing if you love the person and they are honestly bothered by it (at least maybe reaching a comprimise. However, If they remain insistant (and beyond reason), then in my book thats grounds for dismissal!
2007-01-31 04:45:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Overdoing should not be judged by the person who smokes or drinks. And if you smoked and drank before you went into the relationship, you should continue to do so. I love drinking and making bad decisions...but filling my lungs with the black smoke is just a bad idea.
2007-01-31 04:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dragon would say "Buh-bye". Cuz if the person KNEW about the smoking/drinking going into the relationship, and didn't bring up that it was an issue until they made it an ultimatum, that's not someone Dragon would want to be associated with.
2007-01-31 04:40:40 · answer #5 · answered by VLIGER DRAGÖN 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unacceptable. Ultimatums do not make a relationship work. First it is this then you quit, next it is something else. It is a continuous cycle. If it were me, i would say something like, hey, I like us! I would like to make us work. You have problems with me and they existed before us. If you are not happy then maybe we should find out what we really want out of this relationship and what we do not want.
DO not get on the well if you love me trip. That goes both ways. As long as it is not a problem he/she should live with it. If they can't, someone will.
2007-01-31 04:45:37 · answer #6 · answered by Going Crazy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess I'd really question my relationship with that person. Is drinking and smoking against their religion? If it is then he might want you to stop so that he feels as though the relationship is moving forward. He may want to take it to the next level.
2007-01-31 04:41:45 · answer #7 · answered by angelofgothic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same exact issue, and he called me a drug addict all the time, I really wanted to stop smoking cigarettes for him but I couldn't, I did stop seeing mary jane for him but that wasn't good enough. I loved him anyways, 8 years, till he died, of an overdose of morphine. He lied and hid this from me, all the while putting me down for my cigarettes. How's that for a kick in the teeth.
2007-01-31 05:21:09 · answer #8 · answered by barbara b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is in jeopardy of ending and you want to save it, I would say just quit your objectionable vice.
If you aren't interested in saving the relationship, anyway, then just keep doing your "thing".
There is some merit to having someone ride you a** about your habit if it is becoming an obsessive behavior and self-destructive such as smoking, for example.
Some of us need that extra prod of insistance just to make us save ourselves from destruction.
2007-01-31 04:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by Gnome 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
had that happen once but only about the smoking..i never lie about the fact that i smoke..and what i said in response was...you knew i smoked since day one, the issue is not the smoking because i have the feeling if i quit, you would find something else that you wanted to change or control about me..here's the door, don't let it hit your a.ss on the way out
2007-01-31 04:53:10 · answer #10 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not willing to date anyone who will give me a BS ultimatum. I 've had that happen in a relationship and I broke it off because of what he said. If a relationship starts like that, there is no telling how controlling he'll start to become.
2007-01-31 04:43:10 · answer #11 · answered by Pirate Hooker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋