Lately I seem to get quite irritated by the smallest of things. I' generally an easy going sort of person, but I just seem to get more frustrated with my uni housemates than normal. We didn't know each other before we moved in, but generally get on ok although I am not very close to them as we are different people. The more I live here the more frustated I seem to get. I always have to drive us to go food shopping as am the only one with a car, and it gets on my nerves that once we have shopped they both get a cigarette out and smoke. I don't smoke and don't like smokers in my car so find this very annoying as it only takes two minutes to drive home. They never consider if I'm in a rush or not. They didn't even say thank you for driving them today. It's just little things like this that get me a bit annoyed and the more I bottle it up the more frustrated I get. Am I wrong to get annoyed about these sorts of things?
2007-01-31 04:17:05 · 13 answers · asked by Mr looking for answers 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think what is wrong, is that you are not sticking up for yourself.
2007-01-31 04:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to my life.
Just for the sake of empathy I feel I need to tell you that you are NOT by any means alone, as hundreds of thousands of people, some of them people you probably know even are dealing with this problem each and every day.
What happens when people spend allot of time around each other is that they start to take the person's presence and help for granted. It is something that families usually go through but it happens in work relationships and neighbors too.
The best way to deal with this is opinion based so be forewarned it may not work in your personal case but its worth a try.
Confront them, you may want to meditate or pray first to reach a calm mind-state and keep a calm voice about it because it could very quickly turn into a shouting match. tell them what is bothering you and ask them if they could give you gas money while you are at it. That could make it feel more like you are providing a service than being a push over, and they may be a little more considerate of your feelings if they know what they are.
2007-01-31 06:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by jeff s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to get annoyed at little things when you live so closely with others. I can speak from experience as I have 2 daughters and at times they really aggravate me even though I know I love them to bits.
We are only human and sometimes it's just a matter of taking time out for yourself that makes the difference between negative and positive feelings.
However, it sounds to me that your house mates could be a bit more considerate. Also you sound like you need to be more assertive - after all, how can they stop annoying you if they don't realise they are doing it in the first place?
I think you need to raise the issues that concern you in a non-aggressive manner just so they are aware of how their actions affect you. Hopefully they will understand and change their behaviour: if, however they don't then just stop being friendly and helpful towards them until they realise how much you really did do for them.
Sometimes people don't realise they are taking advantage of you until you tell them or they have to cope without you.
I'm gonna shut up now cos I'm rambling
good luck
2007-01-31 08:15:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't wrong. It happens. It happens to everyone, regardless of your temperment. Sometimes little things just hit a cord and you react.
That being said, getting really "angry" over small things isn't good for you health-wise. All it's doing is elevating your blood pressure and distracting you from more important things. If you get angry and then calm down, that's okay. The problem exists when you STAY mad.
If something your friends do gets on your nerves, find another friend or even your mom or something (moms, no matter how far away they live from you, will still listen to rants and raves :-) they're a real blessing!) and tell them about it. Rant, rave, whatever...and then you can be done. You've let out your frustration :-)
2007-01-31 04:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by surfchika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to feel more in control, and this will ease your irritation. Tell you housemates that you are not going to allow smoking in your car because you don't like it- you will drive to get shopping at 4.00pm and will return at 5.00pm. Be assertive. Don't enter into a discussion about it. Make a discision- and DON'T back down. You will feel happier once you've got it all out in the open.
2007-02-01 04:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to speak up before these things happen otherwise people will not know when they are about to offend you. !
first of all speak to them before the situation arrives, talk about smoking, when they are not smoking, talk to them about driving them home, on a day that they dont intend to use your car, this will help you remain calm about the situation and get a realsistic response from them.
come to the realisation that you are not as easy going as you thought you were, anyway, being easygoing is a bad habit, it just encourages people to get the most out of you they can. People will be nice to you and coerice you into situations beneficial to them because you are easy going.
2007-01-31 05:39:44 · answer #6 · answered by Frederick Hubbard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've solved your own problem. Read the second last sentence.
Keeping things in causes you to blow up at some point when you've finally had enough. Either that or you'll get fed up and leave.
If you don't want to leave, then let your feelings be known. If you still aren't being respected, then you know it isn't worth staying. So give them a chance, and give yourself a lesson in being assertive.
Good Luck!
2007-01-31 04:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by Nikki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, tell them to smoke outside, or walk home. If they want use of your cab service, they must help pay insurance, gas, maintenance and repair. If that doesn't fly, they can walk and have their food delivered. It is YOUR car and they will treat you the way you let them treat you. Put your foot down and there will be no reason to bottle up any feelings.
2007-01-31 04:56:32 · answer #8 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i don't think your wrong as i expect you feel you are being put upon?.you would be best to ask them to have their cigarette outside of your car[please if they don't mind]as it is a small space and makes you feel ill[[[[[[[[[or you could open all the windows?.when things are bottled up they can come out the wrong way,so try and make alight of some of the things that upset you.
2007-01-31 04:33:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not wrong to get angry about little things, but if this makes sence- you should be less angry about the little things and more angry about the big and important things. if this helps try to stop and think,- in what way does this effect my life? if you can't think of nothing at all or you can only think of something un important, then try and put whatever it is to the back of you're mind.
2007-02-03 21:04:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to relax. If you let little stuff bug you it only makes you have more anger and anxiety down the road. Take a deep breath and let it go.
2007-01-31 12:54:16 · answer #11 · answered by Karen L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋