I have been married for 18 months and my husband has become very verbally abusive + some physical mostly when he is drunk. he refuses to acknowledge he a a drink problem saying instead I am the one who needs to see a doctor!!!!
I need to know what I would get if we divorced because
1. I have relocated to a European country ( where he managed to get himself a cushy job), I am in the process of learning the language which I have to do if I want to get a job.- I am a Healthcare worker.
2. No big purchases of property have been made during our marriage although I have to say he has earned more in Europe than he would have in the UK. He owns a house in the UK.
3. A friend advised me to tape what he actually says for use in a divorce court. Will this be acceptable and if it is will it actually help?
please somebody help me with info, advice
2007-01-31 04:16:36 · 20 answers · asked by nubianqueen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason I asked the financial aspect of it I really am TRULY pissed off with the bastard It would make me happy to see him get screwed.
and the country I live in at the moment - GERMANY!
2007-01-31 08:53:38 · update #1
I am so angry because I feel I have sacrificed a lot to move with him, my career, my friends, and now he treats me like pooh and will not even listen to what I say.
I suggested that we go and speak with someone (counsellor/independent 3rd party) and he told me that he had no problem, if I knew I had a problem I had to sort it out myself.
One of the most frustrating things I have had to deal with is that after these episodes eg Mon-Fri he acts ever so nice buys me flowers etc as if he can buy my love and respect back - come the weekend its the abuse and name calling.
I really hate him...........................
2007-01-31 22:59:18 · update #2
see a lawyer - the house might get split,but if you have never lived in the house(uk) you might not get anything
2007-01-31 04:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure where you would have to file for divorce in the uk or in Europe?
You would, if you file in the UK would do so on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. You need to sit down and write down dates and his behaviour if you have witnesses note that in your list, if you have ever seen a doctor in relation to the abuse, log that too. If you are unsafe in your current environment my suggestion would be to get out now before it gets worse.
As to what you would get,... (the non financial aspect) would be a great sense of relief, to get out of a abusive relationship makes you realise you do not have to live like that, no matter how much you love someone.
Re the financial aspect of your question all property, and pensions and pocessions and savings are taken into consideration by the court, this is usually argued out by solicitors, including any maintaince you may or not be due. There are no guarentees all depends on your legal team.
Re the taping him. I wouldnt, youd be placing yourself in possible danger if he was to catch you especially if hes drunk.
Good Luck
2007-01-31 13:48:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get nothing. Well, you get free of getting your head bashed in, but you're not entitled to anything. It's highly unlikely you'll even need to go to "divorce court" or appear before anyone who will listen to any tape.
You've been married less than 2 years, you have no kids, and no community property has been earned since the marriage. Your friends are misinformed. Since he owned the house prior to the marriage, you don't get it.
Just move on and stop trying to profit from this.
2007-01-31 12:27:31 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its the old story isn't it when a marriage goes wrong as this seems to be although your still glad to receive all the gifts during the week and in the same voice saying you hate him and want him to get screwed, well there it is your trying to profit out of this rather than sit down when he's in a sober situation and try to salvage something out of this. //your attitude sounds a bit spiteful so are you perhaps half to blame for the predicament? I gather your both from USA and Americans don't settle to well in foreign countries so perhaps you should consider going back home
2007-02-04 11:51:28 · answer #4 · answered by srracvuee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry. Need to know where you got married. That is in many circumstances the law of divorce. However, typically, the marital assets are split and distributed between the parties under many EU countries laws'
xxB
2007-01-31 12:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 Get a lawyer. It may be against the law to "record" conversations you have with your husband. You do not want to break the law. If you are both american you may have to file for divorce in the states.
the division of property varies by state so it depends on where you file.
2007-01-31 12:26:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately tape him . However, you also need to find yourself somewhere else to live and that job. get an english speaking one to be going on with. You do not say which country you are living in so it is difficult to be more specific.
2007-01-31 15:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are saying IF you divorce? never mind about what you will get, he will only get worse as time goes on believe me, You may have some claim on his house /money but at least you wont have to put up with his abuse any longer,thats worth more than anything
2007-01-31 12:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you dont actrally get to go to court it's all done through lawyers and you can ask for anythin you want you'll just have to settle everythin befor your divorse come's through
2007-01-31 12:33:58 · answer #9 · answered by nat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see a lwayer....no one on here can help you with this, this needs legl attention...i do suggest that you get away from him as fast as possible before he really hurts you then proceed with the divorce
2007-01-31 15:24:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋