My boyfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for the last 2 and a half years. We see each other once a month. He's been trying to apply for jobs near my city and recently he has become pretty resentful towards me that I am doing nothing for our situation to change. He's very upset with the distance and he keeps telling me that its driving him crazy. He's been stressed from work lately and he keeps telling me that he needs me, wants me and its making him feel upset that his girlfriend is so far. He says when he sees his friends with their girlfriends, he gets upset. The other day we agreed that I will try my best to move near him. However, he's been telling me how weak he is becoming about the distance. He told me last night that he wants to take a distance. He says he loves me but until the situation changes he wants to be less involved as it is making him feel too down. I got upset with that but he told me that this is the only way he can continue. Why taking distance?
2007-01-31 04:02:53 · 7 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has got an interview near my town in 2 weeks and he is coming to see me. But I am afraid I am loosing him? I feel that taking distance will only make us feel sad. He keeps telling me that he is trying to save us? And its only temporarily until the situation gets solved.
2007-01-31 04:03:48 · update #1
Of course he feels frustrated, because he misses you and after nearly trhree years of driving, emailing, phonecalls and text messaging, he is exhausted. He loves you and the distance makes him feel lonely and depressed. Seing everyone with their bf/gf only makes him feel more alone because you are far away and a phone call is just not cutting it anymore. It seems to him like all efforts to merge have failed what makes it even more frustrating is (for what you wrote)that it seems like he is doing most of the effort to move.
Is not like he doesn't love you, but how much of this can he take? I mean, people do get tired and lonely and depressed specially when it seems that he is pushing most of the load. The situation needs to be fixed and PRONTO. A Long distance relationship is hard to endure and you have plenty of time to think if all the driving is worth the time. Wouldn't be better to have someone close by you to touch and kiss whenever you feel like? True, but if you love someone that is far away then it is emmotionally draining.
Wait and see about the interview, reassure him that no one hits the jackpot on the first try.
Good luck
2007-01-31 04:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he not only loves you but has certain things he needs in a relationship that are not being met, by the very nature of the long distance relationship. If it is bothering him so much to not be with you take it as a sign that he really likes you, but continuing to date long distance is not going to work out. So the options become figuring out a way to live in the same area. Or ending it. it sounds like hes trying to bring it to a close so that he can stop fretting about it so much, until circumstances change if they ever do.
2007-01-31 12:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by jmtutin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's in a lot of pain and sometimes when you have a lot of emotion about something whether it be sadness, anger, confusion or any other deep felt emotion your first reaction is to step away and evaluate the situation. Don't take this personally he just wants time to think and in his mind stop hurting so much.
It sounds as if he thinks he's putting more of himself into this relationship as far as having to sacrifice so the best way to fix this is to plan some job interviews in his area. Start really looking at the possibility of moving in with him. After all relationships go both ways. Try showing him you really love him and are willing to do anything for him.
2007-01-31 12:25:11 · answer #3 · answered by nm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he the one travelling to see you all the time? If so, he might be getting tired of travelling. Another thing that he might be feeling is that it seems all the pressure is on him to see you, like him trying to get a job closer to you. In his job now, who makes more money, you or him. If he makes more money is happy where he is, then you could think about moving closer to him.
The bad thing about him wanting a "time out" is if he wants to see other people, or is just wanting a break, that could end your relationship with him, just because he could find someone closer to him and no matter what he feels for you, the girl that is closer to him could change his feelings towards you because eventually something will happen because she is so close.
2007-01-31 12:17:58 · answer #4 · answered by George P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant see that distance is going to help anything.. it will make it worse surely. You have both said you want to find a solution to be together so surely thats all you should be talking and thinking about, not making it harder.. i'm sorry to say this but i think there may be a deeper problem and you MUST sit down and talk it all out with him and get to the bottom of it. I then hope he will give you all the answers you need. Good luck hon.. sorry you're suffering
2007-01-31 12:33:48 · answer #5 · answered by peachesandcream 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you...hes willing to move to be closer to you...it pains him that hes away from you and to make the pain less he has chosen to keep his distance until he relocates...i think its a compeltely natural response by him...When you should start getting concerned is when he shows no interest at all. I wish you guys luck just be patient ...he loves ya.
2007-01-31 12:33:52 · answer #6 · answered by LeiMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know why he wants the time out --maybe you should ask him what he's trying to save you from
2007-01-31 12:10:48 · answer #7 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋