how do you deal with grief of a spouse who died of pancreatic cancer. We were married for 37 years. Thanks.

Answer 1

There are several stages of grief, and the reality is you're going to go through each and every one of them. You can medicate yourself so you won't grieve while you're medicated, or you can accept this is something you have to go through and you may as well start now and get it done.

You will always miss her. You had 37 years together. Nothing can change that.

Some people find grief counseling helps, or group session. Some people don't find them useful at all. You have to figure out what works for you.

I included a link to what is considered to be the 5 stages of grief.

You have to assume the first year is the worst. The second year, you usually feel guilt because you aren't thinking of her every minute of every day. Then, at some point, you'll go several days without missing her. Plan on 3 years before you start to feel like you're okay again. In the first year, don't make any majot life changes, if you can avoid it. It's usually the wrong decision.

I hope this helped.

Answer 2

It takes "time"...

The reality of death stings, but only for a little while. To allow the process of grief to flow allow Gods love to come in. He will lift you up. Even when you don't think you can. He can. He will comfort you. Simply let Him do what He does best...

Love His children.

Without faith in Jesus Christ I don't know how I would have survived the loss of my sister. She's my identical twin. She was killed instantly in a car accident eight years ago. It was traumatic, to say the least. Tuesday, July 7th, 1998. A day I'll never forget. What held me together when nothing in this world could? My faith. God carried me through. Literally. I couldn't function, think, eat, or sleep. I was numb and in shock. If I didn't have something to hold onto I honeslty don't think I'd be here today.

I assume you were with your wife when she passed away? It's an amazing gift to be given as time stood still for you and her. Her last breath taken near the one she loves. She chose to love, "you". You were given something some people don't get, time.

I'm betting with thirty-seven years of marriage you've made wonderful memories together. You'll be okay. Laugh at the silly things you did together. Cry until you can't cry anymore. It will become easier, I promise.

I don't know if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ, or not. If you do, awsome. But, if you don't or haven't turned to Him in awhile...simply begin. God has a plan for your life. Even if you don't think so right now.

Seek Him and let Him do what He does best...

Love His children.

He created you. Don't you think He knows the one He's made in His image better than we know ourselves?

I do.



Jeremiah 29 (NIV Bible)

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear you lost your spouse.Counseling is a very good idea.I've lost my dad to pancreatic cancer . I know that the relationship between a parent & a child Is not the same as a married couple or life parteners.I find comfort in believing my parents are in a better place & that they are no longer in pain.Some one also said to me You will miss your loved one forever but with time it will get easier.I found comfort in that as well. I hope this helps.

Answer 4

You don't give many details but i also lost my husband. He took his own life almost two years ago after 24 years of marriage. A good marriage until the last 2 years.

I live every day with the guilt and the hurt. I wonder if I couldn't have done or said something that would have changed things for him, helped him somehow. I close my eyes and see him nude, on our bed, a note in his hand, and gun on the floor.

I'm sure you have images, pictures of your wife that you live with also. I'm sure that you have memories, feelings that won't go away.

I only know that I have moved in with my sister for the time being. I have slowly begun to see men again. I have gotten closer to my friends and family. I have tried to get interested in things that I had given up while married to give myself something to do. I have dome some self destructive things and some pretty healthy things. I've made some mistakes.

The one thing I know I'm doing right is to keep trying. I get up every morning and do what Michael would want me to do and that's keep going. He would never want me to give up because he did. He loved me dearly and so I intend to continue to love myself, to love the memory of him and to honor us both.

I sugest that you grieve your wife as long as it takes. Cry until you can't cry any more. And if you find that it feels as tho you are crying too long by your own standards (and no one elses) then ask for some help. And if at any time you aren't able to do the normal day to day things that need to be done (eat, sleep, pay your bills, leave the house) then ask for help. Let your friends love you. Let them help you when they offer. Ask them to be with you. Men have a harder time of this than women. And I don't know how long it has been for you but when a woman looks lovely to you then it's time. Time to ask a woman to be in your company. You'll know.

Until then everything is OK. Probably every thing that you are doing is normal and if you have questions then ask someone. I had to and found out I was quite normal too. Continue to love your wife. I know I can't ever stop loving my husband. I always will. He's with me still. I'm sure your wife watches over you also. God bless and gentle thoughts.

Answer 5

I lost my mother recently, and have helped my father deal with her loss. What I think helps is remembering the good times, and memories she gave you. The one thing I hate about life is that there has to be death, it's scary to think all of the people I know won't be here some day, but I guess that's life which is why people need to live it to the fullest.
I personally think hobbies such as the gym, fishing, or traveling will help you. What helps my father is keeping occupied, and being around good people, not phonies.
You'll be fine.

Answer 6

ive continuously concept that those that flow to heaven no. they gained't be remarried or married yet will be because the angels , and should be the bride of Christ. regardless of the indisputable fact that in case you look on the guides like contained in the bible educate e book & even in some songs that folk WILL see their lifeless loved ones again. If the widow remained unmarried & make it by skill of the excellent tribulation, or the resurrection, or if a pair died per chance jointly an premature lack of life in a hurricane , or automobile coincidence case in element i dont see why they wouldnt be united again. thats between the applications of the resurrection desire. (Bible educate pg seventy 2. para a million "those who were restored to existence proper the following on earth were reunited with their loved ones. the destiny resurrection will be similar-yet much better effective. now me for my area ive continuously concept-about Abraham being resurrected again which includes his spouse Sarah Noah-his spouse Mary-Joseph Isaac-Rebekah etc. yet i'd be off a touch yet what ever the case those who're resurrected will sense free & grateful. no count number what , Jehovah will see to that. unmarried or not there'll be a lot to do less than better effective situations we may be able to in hardship-free words imagine. So the final analysis in the journey that your deceased major different is someone you opt on to confirm again maximum definatley you'll hit upon one If the association grow to be reduce off via lack of life or the different remarried? who's time-honored with of probable not yet both way the guy will sense free for Jehovah will fulfill the will of each residing element playstation one hundred forty 5:16. For he's time-honored with individuals best & he's time-honored with of whats best for us.

Answer 7

Dealing with a loss is always difficult.
The only thing I can tell you from experience is
that time heals and your memeries will not be painful
to remember.Spend time with family and friends.
find an outlet you could also go to grief counceling

Answer 8

you need to realize that death and dying are part of life and your spouse is now in a better place-watching over you- your spouse doesn't want to see you sad - enjoy life

Answer 9

Go and find a church or support group I dont think one ever gets over losing someone they love.I am sorry for your loss.Just pray.Never forget the one you loved.

Answer 10

You remember all the good times. And remember that she would want the BEST for YOU.