I'm a single fem lesbian and i am also an exotic dancer. I have really no problems with my job except for this one guy that comes in there every day and sits down and stares at me he even tryed to propose to me. and if you think thats not stalking he even went as far as paying some to find out where i live and my phone nummber. He calls me off the hook and textes me like theres no tommorrow. And just yesterday he told my best friend which also works at the club that if he cant have me he was going to kill her. I've did the restraing order and filed nummours complaints but nothing is seeming to work. I fear for me and my best friends life that this man is going to take it to far one day. What more can i do?
2007-01-31 03:46:49 · 20 answers · asked by Luvlyestmami 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Scary. Very scary.
Okay, so it's obvious you've been reporting it to the police and got a restraining order. In addition to calling the cops I would suggest keeping a notepad and writing down the exact date and time that he does anything, like when he calls, when he shows up. Police deal with facts, the concrete. If you have it for them they're much happier campers. Keep reporting every incident. He is in violation of the restraining order every single time. When you call it in to the cops make sure you state that you have a restraining order. Keep a copy of it with you at all times so that if the police need to see it they can.
He should not be within a certain number of feet from your place of employment. If he does then the bouncer needs to step in and do his job, along with you calling the cops. He should also not be within a certain range of your home. If you see him call the cops.
I know it feels like calling the cops does nothing, but each time you call a report is filed. This way each incident is on record.
As someone else said, you are entitled to change your phone number free of charge due to the harassing calls. You need to get the complaint number from the cops and then you can call the phone company and get it changed. This is why you have to keep on reporting. If he calls a certain number of times within a certain time period it counts as harassment. You get a complaint number, and the phone company will change it.
Your best friend should report the incident that happened yesterday. Threatening bodily harm might make the cops wake up a little.
For home safety make sure all your locks on the doors and windows are good ones. And use the locks.
Also, find some advocacy group in your area that works with victims of stalking/violence. They can help advocate for you. You'd be amazed at how quickly things will get moving once other people from organizations start calling the cops on your behalf.
Keep fighting for your right to safety!!!
2007-01-31 08:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doll calm down this jerk sounds like all mouth, you must have bouncers at work set him up. Tell them that there is a sicko pulls his dick from his pants everytime you do your strip. How it's become no longer a joke.and patrons made complaint You being an employee of the club they all will back you and throw his sorry butt out and if he's hanging outside the club you'll have back up he's stalking you and the other girls at the club. No one needs crap like this or you can add a jug of water to your act. It's winter over there in the states play up to him and dump the jug over him. I don't think he'll want to hang around the club soaking wet. Doll you have a restraining order your trump card so if he touches you or your babe he's as good as being locked up.and shouldn't be at all permitted in the club or near you. Carry a six inch seletto in your bag and if you see him coming over to you play it cool as he near smash him in the face with the heel and scream "Fire" that attracts more attention than help. let's hope this nightmare ends soon for you so there can be harmony back in your life
2007-01-31 05:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by Riley 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you tell the club manager? Because I thought it's standard procedure when a customer is making threats on the dancers to have them banned from the club. Also, who in the world gave him your information. And definitely change all your numbers. The phone company has to do this free of charge when there is a restraining order involved. Holla back if you need more info.
2007-01-31 04:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you can get out of town for a while, I'd do that.
Be very strict with the forwarding information.
Also complain as loud as you can about your safety to the club management. If you tried stalking or threatening a dancer at the Crazy Horse Too in Vegas when I was there, the stalker could wind up injured. There was a case where they took a guy who cheated a dancer out of $80 into the parking lot and he wound up with a broken neck. (they wound up sued, of course)
2007-01-31 04:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by Chessmistress1000 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to the police with your friend and get him locked up. If he's violating the restraining order and making threats, he should be locked up for breaking a couple of laws repeatedly. Find a shelter to help you. They can help with self-defense as well as getting the cops off their asses to protect you. This needs to stop now. I'm not sure what area you live in, so I can't recommend a specific place to go to, but there are safe places to go in most large cities.
2007-01-31 09:44:04 · answer #5 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the cops and report him (if you have a restraining order i suppose u did that already) and also tell whoever manages the place where you work. They can deny him access to the place if he's threatening the employees.
2007-01-31 03:53:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Call a local woman's shelter and find out about self defense courses and ways to protect yourself against this guy. Call the local NRA and ask them about gun saftey (shooting courses.) They will reccomend a quality handgun for you to buy to defend yourselves. A young woman from my hometown who was trying to make it as a dancer in NYC was killed this way. She was working as an exotic dancer to support herself when some a-hole became obssessed with her. She thought she could handle him, she was wrong. Don't wait do it now.
Luck
2007-01-31 04:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go to the police! One of my bestest friends is an exotic dancer and she has to deal with that crap too all the time. At her place, they have bouncers that escorts them out and in of the club. You definately need to tell someone about it.
2007-01-31 03:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by Fantasy686 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell your boss. There has to be some rule against harassment in your job. And if there is a restraining order against him, then call the cops when you see him in there.
2007-01-31 03:53:50 · answer #9 · answered by BetsyLauren 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh my, take his threats very seriously, he sounds crazy, maybe talk to the bouncer or security at your club. the police won't do anything unless he actually hurts someone probably. have your friend get a warrant on him and you get one too for harrassing communications, have your boss put him out of the bar
2007-01-31 03:51:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋