I met my boyfriend when I was 18. We met the first day I was in college, because I joined the collegiate newspaper staff and he was already a member. We co-wrote lots of articles together and had all of our classes toegther (we were both journalism majors). We got to be good friends and both graduated. He worked in our college town and I moved away for a year. We kept in close contact and when I moved back we moved in together and have been having a live-in realtionship for 8 months now. I am kind of seeking a propsal now. We are in graduate school togther and I like the idea of a long engagement and the commitment factor. He had already said that he wants to be with me forever, but although it sonds kind of greedy, I want the symbolism of a proposal and a ring...although there is no need for a large ring.
2007-01-31 03:43:02 · 19 answers · asked by jrhod263 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So really...8 months of dating/living together...if I have known him for so long...is engagement unrealistic at that point? I mean, do you think that is too soon typically?
2007-01-31 03:50:43 · update #1
You're a lady with a realistic plan. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be married.
2007-01-31 03:48:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One could go on forever with this question but it can be bottom lined. The number one mistake women make is to start pushing for marriage. You have only lived together for 8 months and are still young and in school. Your futures are not even set yet much less engagment. Be happy just being together and growing together and it will eventually seem to him that he will never want to be anywhere else. Forcing the issue for symbolism is usually a death knell. Once you have been together longer the marriage thing can be brought up subtly. The best way to get someone to want something is to make them feel its their idea.
2007-01-31 03:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just my opinion...I think you are all three LOL. First let me congratulate you on what sounds to be an engagement. I guess since I never had a ring (but I do agree with you about the symbolism part) it is not always necessary...Since he said he wants to be with you forever and if he can afford it financially, then it shouldn't be a problem for him to get you a ring. Maybe there is a special ring he had in mind and didn't want to rush it...I dunno, since my now -ex never made it special for me to be engaged, I hope you just don't settle for anything (like you said...it doesn't have to be large), maybe a special engagement ring means something to him, some guys are sweethearts about that...
Again, best wishes to you :)
2007-01-31 03:54:33 · answer #3 · answered by poker_fan_in_nyc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have this same issue. feels like if he makes the committment he'll never be able to leave ... well, he can leave when and if he chooses. no ring, no vow, no committment can change that honey. you just have to be confident that your relationship is headed in the right direction and that the two of you are on the same page. its hard to want those things and not have them, i know ... but you're still young and have plenty of time to get hitched. maybe he just doesn't want to feel like he's rushing into anything. perhaps waiting for you both to finish up with school so that he can give you the phenomenal engagement and wedding you deserve! try to look at it as positive instead of negative. he loves you and hes there ... reciprocate girl! good luck!
2007-01-31 03:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say you're quite normal, but, like a huge number of women, you are going about matters in an inadvisable order. If you already live together, a man feels little incentive to propose marriage. Living together should come after the engagement, and even preferably after the wedding. Try moving out (or stating a plan to do so), telling him that you can move back in after you get engaged. One final note: please, please, please do NOT have children before you get married!
2007-01-31 03:50:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everybody is different....you will just have to wait it out and let him propose when he's ready. The only thing I would dare advise you to consider doing, is discretly bring up the discussion of marriage....you want to know his thoughts on marriage and a family....you didn't mention if that has been discussed or not. Are you sure he even wants to get married and all else that follows? Better be sure before you put all of your eggs in his basket....best wishes...
2007-01-31 04:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by onecrazypeach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you wanting the ring for the right reasons? Are you in love with this guy? Or is the ring the next step because your parents or society deems it? I know that I wanted the ring when I was younger because that is whats "supposed" to happen. Don't get married because it is whats expected.
2007-01-31 03:50:39 · answer #7 · answered by kelleyann_p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats normal. Most women would want to know where such a long term relationship is going, and the idea of marriage seems to make women feel great! Nope its alright, and maybe he just wants to get on his feet first, start earning... before he marries you.
2007-01-31 03:48:17 · answer #8 · answered by ღ♥ღ latoya 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur normal if u love him and he loves u and uve been together for a long time and hes said that he wants to b wit u forever then i think u shuld xpect later on but dont get ur hopes up it may not happen but it might if he loves u alot
2007-01-31 03:49:50 · answer #9 · answered by soccer playa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a ring is the symbol of his affection towards u. so u are just like everyone else in expecting him to show his love for u. u want to know for sure he loves u.
2007-01-31 03:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋