getting ready - what do u think?

Question

When the time comes for me to give birth... I want my hubby and my mum to be in the delivering suite with me.

my hubby doesnt want my mum there - as it is our special moment... but I want my mum with me as well as I am so close with her..( and vica versa) . am i being selfish ? I don't know what to do for the best..

Answer 1

you and your husband need to decide this. you need to also take his feelings in consideration.

Answer 2

I would suggest that you and your hubby sit down and talk to each other about this, I can understand both your feelings on the matter and your husbands. The best solution maybe for you and your husband to come to a compromise, why not suggest to him that you have have both him and your mum in the room until the time comes for you to deliver the baby then your mum can leave the room letting you and your hubby have your special moment together, seeing your baby being born then once baby is wrapped up and had a cuddle with mummy and daddy your hubby can go and get your mum in so she can see her grandchild when he or she is only minutes old. Or you could maybe ask your hubby to video the birth so that you can let your mum she it after. I am sure that your mum would want whats best for you and your hubby in the long run and I am sure that if she missed the delivery then she wouldnt mind at all especiallly when she will have a lovley grandchild to adore for many years to come. good luck

Answer 3

No your not being selfish at all. You need to talk to your husband and explain how important this is for you. Although the birth is a very special and close time for you both, it is also a time when you need maximum support and to feel as relaxed as possible, and if for you that means you want them both to be there, then I think he needs to try to support you on this. I can understand he probably feels he want to keep this special time just for yourselves, and probably feel his importance in all of this is compramised if you want your mum too to be there, but gently remind him there will be midwife/doctors etc there also, so its not as if you are taking a moment you would actually be alone away from him, you just would like the added support and closeness of your mother too additionaly to him during the birth. After the birth there will be pleanty of time for you, him and the new baby to be alone in those first special moments when I'm sure your mum as well as the midwife etc will leave the room - talk to him about this time, surely this is the special moment he will remember forever and could look forward to now. I hope your birth & everything else goes well for you! All the best x

Answer 4

I had my hubby with me both times. As close as i am to my mum its something i felt that i should only have my hubby with me. Every person is different and you need to explain to your hubby why you want your mum there. Your hubby might be thinking that if there is your mum and him there that you wont make him part of the delivery and he will feel useless. Think about how you would feel if it was the other way round. He must just want to be your rock and scared your mum might take over and push him to the side.
Have a chat to your hubby see what you both think and come to some agreement.
Good luck with the chat and once the baby comes.

Answer 5

I think you really need to take your husband's feelings into consideration. You will be giving birth to the baby that you and your husband have created - this will be a very special moment for you both. Your husband may feel as though your Mum is intruding on what will be the best (and possibly emotional) moment of his life - and I can see his point.
Put it this way, if my husband told me he wanted his Mother to be in the delivery room with me, I'd tell him to go scratch!
In all seriousness though, i really think this is a special time for your two, and he has every right to not want your Mum to be there and you may need to compromise and respect his feelings on that. Your Mum will be right outside, waiting to hear your fantastic news.....

Answer 6

If it is anything like when I gave birth im sure you mum will be much more help to you than your husband lol, mine was useless

seriously, maybe you have such a strong bond with your mother that he feels useless in her presence, he could be worried about all sorts of things like will he still get to cut the cord and hold the baby first, you need to talk to him and reassure him, personally I think it should just be the 2 of you, your mum was there when you were born let him have you and his baby to him self for this part its not my decision though good luck x

Answer 7

yes you are being selfish. This is your hubbys time too.....yes you are the one giving birth but he is the daddy and has say 50/50. If he is uncomfortable with your mom there then you should just make sure that she comes in first thing afterwards. Your hubby probably feels like you want her comfort and coaching when htat is supposed to be his job. He might feel robbed of his experience and be sour about it later.

Answer 8

Personally I think it's a bit strange having your mum there because it is something that is between you and your husband. I can totally see why he wouldn't want your mum there.
How would you have felt if he had said he wanted his mum to come along on your honeymoon with you?
However, if it is something that you feel strongly about then it should be your choice. You are the one giving birth, and your opinions should get priority over your husband's. It could get awfully crowded in there though!!

Answer 9

Personally I wouldn't want my Mum with me in the delivery suite, but then she is always the first person to see the new baby!
I can empathise with your situation, you don't want to upset your husband, but need your Mum!
Can she be waiting ourside to take over if Hubby needs a breather? Maybe your husband would agree to her being with you in the early stages, but it just being you and him for the actual delivery.
Babies can take a long time to arrive, he might be glad of someone else being there to take a break.
Talk to him, it is really the only way you will be able to reach a compromise.

Answer 10

Have your hubby in the suite with you and have mom in the waiting area. That way your hubby can call on her if he does think you need the added support. And if not, she still gets to be the first guest to meet the new baby.

Answer 11

I don't think you are being selfish. I can see how your husband would feel though. He probably just wants you and him to be present when the baby is actually born so you can just be with each other during this special moment. You are going to be so busy when the baby is actually born though, so maybe your mom can stay with you guys during the labor and just wait outside during the delivery and then come back inside once the baby is born and everything settles back down.
Hope this helps. Good Luck!