In your opinion, does the homosexual act make you gay or just the mindset?

Question

If a person who claims to be straight goes out and engages in homosexual sex, does that make him or her homosexual or is it mental? Now before I get the emotional answers instead of intelligent ones, (regardless if you are gay/straight) let me clear up a few things. No, this is not about me, yes I am straight, no I am not homophobic and I am asking this because I would like to get your opinion.

Now, for example, if a person kills another person, s/he is a murderer. S/he is not just a person who *occasionally* kills others. Same principle if a guy has sex with another guy, does that not make him gay? I mean you slept with another man. That cannot be undone. I just find it amazing how guys who sleep with guys can say they are not gay or even bi. Is it denial or something I am missing?

P.S. ~ Serious answers only. If you disagree with me, that is fine. But if you are submitting a “Why do you care” or “What business is it of yours” type of asinine answer then don't waste my time.

Answer 1

Neither. You are born LGBT, or you aren't. It is hard-wired into you.
Some people just take longer than others to come to terms with their natural sexual orientation.

If you find others of your gender sexually attractive, you are gay (or at least bi). You can perform any actions you want - this does not change whether or not you are LGBT, or straight.

Answer 2

acted towards Homosexuals, nothing special. Judaism has more of a split between the action and the person. There are 613 Mitzvot in the Bible. And yes, one of them is not to lie with another man as with a woman. But, that is one of 613. We don't go around making "that" one "the big one" and ignoring the others and we don't go around making people wear big scarlet As etc... Among observant people, the idea is that acting on it is wrong. So, is acting on a lot of things. People are people. We are all created in G-d's image. Be nice to the person whether you approve of their actions or not. This is the ideal and some people live up to it and some people don't. But, we agree on the ideal. Among other Jews, there is now a lot more acceptance of those behaviors and people will say it is ok.

Answer 3

Good question.
My 2 cents. No. If you don't live a "gay lifestyle" (I know I'm gonna get shot down for that) You, in my book, wouldn't be considered gay. Here's my "proof"..............
1. Guys in prison. Just because they screw each other, doesn't make them gay. It's a proximity/power thing. When they get out, many/most are unlikely to continue the behavior.
2. I've had sex with guys that weren't gay. I talked them into it, or seduced them, or gave them a few beers which loosened them up enough to do something that they wouldn't normally do. By the way, in my own defense, this is not a daily practice. (kinda reminds me of a joke, which I won't put here, email me if you wanna hear it)
3. There is a sorta sliding scale of sexuality, let's say from one to five. One being totally straight with even the thought of sex with a guy being repulsive. Being a one, does not make a person a homophobe by the way, ok. (In fact most likely the opposite. A five is a person who is repulsed by the thought of sex with a woman. Many, many people lie somewhere in between, myself included. I had relationships, and even sex with a girl when I was younger. The sex was pretty good! However, I enjoy the company of guys, not to mention the sex, which I enjoy very much. With girls/women, I always felt awkward afterward, not so with those of my own sex. I made a decision to steer towards same sex relationships when I was 18 or so.......no regrets. I'm gay, but number-wise, fall in somewhere around a 3.5.

So, back to the question.....Can anybody say that someone is gay, or even bisexual just because he (I can't speak for the girls, but I believe that the psychology is a bit different) had sex with his best friend when he was 15 and his hormones were raging with no forseeable outlet? IMHO, no. Same for prisoners, no. I had sex with my best friend when we were 15. He now has a family and kids. I daresay he never looked back as he found what he was looking for in life, myself as well. We were both experimenting.

I invite commentary on my answer, either here, or through email. Email me and I'll tell you the joke, but it's not appropriate for the forum. Take care.........Rob

Answer 4

A person can be gay and a virgin. Or gay and celibate. It's the attraction to members of the same gender, not the intercourse.

When a man can respond sexually to men or women, he's bisexual. There are some guys who prefer women, but can be...well...flexible if they are stuck with nothing but other men for a long period of time, like a prison or a ship.

Answer 5

if the homosexual act is a one time thing, it could be called experimenting. I would say that this person is gay if the acts happens on a somewhat regular basis. One could say that the experiment was to answer the question about whether someone is gay or bi or straight.

Answer 6

gay sex doesn't make a person gay, any more than the closeted gay men who spend years with women to try to please society, even though they want relationships with men all that time -- are straight.

When I was young a number of heterosexual (straight) friends liked to have me s*** them off regularly. They weren't gay, it was basically assisted masturbation with a friend. I am still friends with all of them that I am still in contact with. They are all straight, as I knew they were and they knew they were at the time they were having me giving them h**d two or three times a week each. Having sex changed nothing.

At the same time I know people who grew up being aggressively straight, got married, had kids -- are still married, but only have sex with males. They can be married forever, they were and are homosexual (gay in common parlance). One of them even told me that he was able to f*** women only by thinking about guys, and became quite good at it.

Actions don't make people straight or gay -- what is inside makes them straight or gay; always.

As for murderers. The example you use is one sided, and completely unrelated to the question you asked.

Kind regards,

Reynolds
[e-mail]

Answer 7

The mindset does. There are plenty of gay virgins in this world, and plenty of straight people who have experimented once or twice. There are also plenty of gay and transgendered people who hide that fact to themselves and the world and sleep with members of the opposite sex. Does that make them heterosexual?

Evidence points to homosexuality and transsexuality being caused by actual structural differences in the brain. That would make people, by definition, gay, straight or otherwise, irrespective of who they sleep or have sept with.

Answer 8

Sexual attraction to a member of the same sex is homosexuality.

Sex is not always about attraction. It is often about power or simple release. I don't feel that taking part in a homosexual act necessarily makes a person gay, i.e. they don't necessarily have any attraction to members of the same sex.

Answer 9

First off, probably a bad idea to compare homosexuals to murders. Could be considered offensive...

Any way, human sexuality is not black and white therefore it is impossible to define some one as gay, bi, or straight unless they themselves define their sexual idenity. I feel that what determines if you are homosexual is if you start to have feelings of love or strong attraction for the same sex. This attraction will out way all feelings of attraction for the opposite sex. For people that are bisexual they are able to have the same level of attraction and love for both sexes. Then there are the people that just like to have sex with all sexes because they are experimenting or just slutty. I can't explain heterosexuality. I just don't get it.

J

Answer 10

A person can be a virgin and be gay. Its not the act its the orientation. Now if an guy bounces back forth on the down low, it makes him some sort of bisexual.