We had a baby 8 months ago and I desperately wanted to stay home w/ her but our finances would not allow it. I am ok most of the time but every once in a while I get really upset and throw it in my Husbands face that he does not make enough money. I feel awful about it b/c I know he wants to do better for us. How can I make this stop????
2007-01-31 02:09:34 · 16 answers · asked by shanzy02 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Having a new baby in the house is often the cause of many problems in the marriage. It is very stressful being first-time parent's and trying to cope with the financial burden of a little one. Of course it would be nice to stay home with the baby, but you have to keep in mind what is best for the baby. You have to figure out what kind of life you want for your baby. Taking care of your baby's best interests should be a joint effort on both parts. You should want to help your husband to equally provide the best for your baby. Don't think of it as a burden, but a responsibility to your child. Remember too, your husband is probably under quite a bit of stress as well. Support and love eachother, and you will get through this.
2007-01-31 02:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by Missy M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont resent your husband for wanting to do better for you and his baby... this is a mans instinct to do this for his family and he feels like a failure if he feels he is not providing the best way that he knows how. You may need to get a part time job even if it is only for a couple days a week to help out or you could even babysit and make some money from home. Just a suggestion. I wish you the best with this. You should never throw this in his face as this is very disrespectful of what your husband tries to do for you and the family.... Love him and thank him and be happy with all he does to try to provide for you and your child. Do not yell or nag or resent him. If he does not make enough then you need to help out so it is enough is all I am saying.
2007-01-31 02:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At those times when you hear those hurtful words coming up and out, just immediately leave the room. Unfortunately the way the economy is today it takes two paychecks to make a household run. Or sit down and take he makes w/o your paycheck and see if you can plan a budget that will get you at home with your baby. Here is another suggestion, would you place if employment let you work part - time if you can get someone to do your other hours, if you know what I mean, make up a plan that will show you boss that he want be losing any man hours if you have someone work the hours that you are away from the office. See if there is a stay at home business that you can start that will bring money in. There are lots of options out there girl, just open your mind up to them and please apologize to your husband because he is a man, and you are making him feel less than one by coming at him like that.
2007-01-31 02:21:45 · answer #3 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should not resent him that is not fair.He is doing the best that he can maybe you should start looking and see what you can do to earn some extra money.If you want to stay home with your child you can also do that.Why don't you look into child care in your home.There is a lot of money to be made in daycare.If you set your mind to it and you have the will you can do anything.You also need to apologize to your husband for taking your stress out on him.
2007-01-31 02:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is completely normal for this to happen in a relationship.I think that you guys need to sit down and talk about your finances, and maybe even try getting cash benefits that would help with some of the problem.You guys will get through this.Good Luck.I hope you guys work things out ok.
2007-01-31 02:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by 2jackweedm 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just hang in there you know situations can and do change,and it is perfectly normal to feel some resentment,believe me i am a stay at home mom fortunate for me my husband is very successful but i resent him because he works and gets time away from the kids and enjoys in adult contact on a day to day basis,and if you really want to stay home you and your husband can devise a plan were lets say you work for a certain length of time save a little bit of money and start exploring other avenues like you working from home or if you were blessed with any talents start figuring out away to use them and make money,that's what im doing even though my husband makes enough money to support me and 4 kids i feel like something is missing in my life i want to contribute, i want to feel like ive giving my all to me my family and society,I'm a very good cook and i make chicken pot pies from scratch including the crust,that everyone is always raving about and asking for the recipe which i never gave,i now prepare and deliver my pot pies, it works for me i love to cook.so discover and find your place!good luck.
2007-01-31 02:16:19 · answer #6 · answered by my space 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Good for you for identifying this issue you're having. Some people would just get bitter and stay that way and continue to rag on their husbands.
Now that you've identified the problem, try to pinpoint the moment it starts, and redirect your thoughts to something positive about him.
You may also want to seriously consider downsizing your expenses. Your home, car, and debt payments, if you can minimize them you may be able to stay home with the baby. It sounds crazy but many do it.
Good luck!
2007-01-31 02:24:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No! I searched my memory financial employer for something i attempted to cover and got here up with a clean. What you notice is what you get/ i'm faraway from being appropriate, yet i myself have no longer something i want to cover aside from the certainty that I had a destructive overwhelm on Ava Gardner. i assumed she develop into between the main alluring woman I ever observed. Does that count huge variety?
2016-11-01 23:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could remember that he could have said , NO WAY can we afford a baby and you are not having one.
Get over this. There is no inalienable right to staying home with your children. There are many more families where mom is forced to work than those who are not. It is a bit of an insult to us who find themselves in that position that we are somehow inadequate. This is not the world of the 1950's regardless how many conservatives tell you otherwise.
Besides the haus fraus who have nothing better to do than look at their house and kids all day are the ones who slowly go mad.
2007-01-31 02:18:37 · answer #9 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Stop being selfish.......You want what you want and you are throwing a fit. You know that right now you need to do this and you don't want to......So you show your disgust....How do you know that your husband is not already planning something and trying to figure out if it will work or not.
I work, my sister is a stay home mom and we both want what the other has.....even if you get what you want - You may end up wanting something else....
2007-01-31 02:24:15 · answer #10 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋