How can I be more upfront?

Question

There is this girl who I told about two, maybe three weeks ago that I liked her... and the response I got?

"I used to like you, but now I don't know..."

Yeah... talk about leaving me on a string...

It's strange to be around her now, it's like we both feel awkward... and her saying she don't know, i assumed that it's most likely a "no", and I accept that, but how can i get a more upfriont answer from her? And how can I patch up our friendship that we had? because it seems to have self-destructed when I told her that I liked her...

Help!

And to those that are confused, before i get the "your in the wrong section" person again...I'm a lesbian....

Answer 1

I'm a big believer in addressing the "elephant in the room," and you got yourself a ginormous elephant! I'd launch with something like, "What you said last time...should I take that as a 'not interested'? I hate this awkwardness." It's going to be scary and your heart will beat a mile a minute, but many worthwhile things are like that, and it will be so much better than having that hanging over you two. You can resume a friendship from there.

Answer 2

Well first, how long have you been talking and when you first started was it intended to be a romantic relationship or just friends. If you only hung out a few times I would say just leave it alone. There is nothing worse than a stalker and if she said she does not know if she likes you then it’s defiantly not a yes but it’s not necessarily a no. Pay attention to her actions. When you meet does she give you a hug. Does she look into your eyes and smile? Does she sit with her hands folded across her chest or open? The way she acts and talks will show you her true feelings. But the question at hand is you want a direct answer from her. …. Is it easier for you to talk or maybe write a letter? Or IM on Yahoo…. When I was with my X it was very hard for us to communicate (argue) in person so we would set a date to IM and talk it out. The reason this helps is because you can take your time and read what the other person is saying, digest it, respond and reread your response. So hopefully you don’t say something you don’t mean. But back to the stalker thing if you guys were only dating for a few days or weeks it may just be time to find someone new.

Answer 3

I think it is wonderful that you are upfront with your feeling. It is wonderful also that you have found someone that you really like for a girlfriend. Something I learned a long time ago though was that people grow in different ways. It took my now husband about two years to actually tell me he liked me. The important thing now is that you don't pressure your friend into forwarding the friendship. Maybe she just needs time to think things through. By her taking her time, that means that she is taking everything into heart and thinking hard about everything. That means that she A. loves you as a friend and B. just needs more time.

I have attached a great link that has some information about asking a friend out. Yes, it is for hetero's however everyone loves the same, therefore I really like the information that is given.

I wish you the best of luck! I hope she gives you some sort of answer soon!

Answer 4

I understand liking her, but if she doesn't know if she feels the same toward you, Just ask her point blank. If the relationship is that rocky, you have no need to tap dance around it. It would be better for you and her to know how each other feel. I hope that once everything is out in the open, then you can deal with whether the friendship is worth saving, or if it's time for one of you to move on.
I hope you the best.

Answer 5

That sucks, but there's really nothing you can do about it right now. She knows you like her, you have to leave it at that. If she still hangs out with you as a friend, then just be casual. Don't call her a lot, don't stare at her longingly. Just be friendly, but slightly reserved until the awkward moment passes. (And it will!)

Answer 6

Well perhaps she liked you as a friend but is not comfortable with the lesbian aspect or she is not ready to make that kind of decision in her life.

Just give it time and if she really likes you she will come round.

Answer 7

I'm not shore how you could get a more upfriount answer but just give her a little bet more time than just try to talke to her maybe It will go back to normal pleas write me back and let me know how it goes p.s. Im bi

Answer 8

Leave well alone. The ball is in her court. It is up to her to decide if she wants to be with you or even remain friends.

Perhaps you can let her know that you'll be leaving her be - until she can decide that saving your friendship/taking it further is worthwhile.

Answer 9

You may not be able to patch it, it all depends on her maturity level. Were I you, I'd leave it alone unless she brings it up. And if she does you'll know by her tone or reason for bringing it up where you stand with her.

Answer 10

Time will heal. If she did not tell you the positive news, then it is a negative one. She doesn't want to hurt you. Give it some time, it will be okay.