Low sex drive affecting my marriage any suggestions to raise my libido?

Question

My husband and I have been married for three years and he has and always has had a high sex drive whereas mine is very low and pretty much always has. When we make love it is wonderful and he knows how to please me the only thing is I wish I had a bigger desire to just do it! Once we start I'm fine its just getting me to really want it. We do tons of foreplay and like I say he pleases me I just have no desire to have sex and would rather sleep because I've been up with the baby all night. My husband still is very attractive to me so that is not an issue and Like I say its always been like this but I really want to change it. Any suggestions on how to raise my libido?

Answer 1

Visit your gynecologist, or whomever you see for your physical checkups and tests. You may have a hormonal imbalance, and your libido can be increased with the addition of hormones.

Believe it or not, hormonally speaking, women have a low libido for the same reason as do men -- a lack of testoserone.

See your doctor.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

it sounds like you are trying everythin gyou can think of, so at this point i would suggest talking to a sex group. There are groups out there or even online that can help you do more to make your drive increase. I cant say I have that problem, however, there are groups for everything these days so there should be some professional adviser for you. I am not saying you need a "shrink" but there are sex classes you can take, try pole dancing or chair dancing.....it fun , great excercise and it does stimulate the brain! good luck

Answer 4

Try some new ideas and spice things up... Change the routine here and there... Try flavor and toys... Talk to a sex therapist if need be and also talk to your doctor and see if they have any ideas or suggestions. Having a baby can affect your sex drive too.. Maybe one day you should let you baby be at a sitters for a night and then you and your husband have alone time.

Answer 5

Having a baby is a real sex killer. Hormones absolutely take a nose dive and the role of "mommy" can be a one that doesn't jive well with that of "lover".

There are now several hormone supliments, androgens (male hormones) out there that can help greatly with raising libido in women. They are rather controversial because the side effects can sometimes be bothersome but most women find them worth it. Do ask your doctor about them.

The fact that you want your sex life to improve and that you find your husband attractive and that you find sex wonderful once your motor is running are all things in your favor. We are slow to start by nature and this is a fact to live with and simply work around. If you understand this, it may simply be a matter of scheduling time to allow yourself to become aroused.

You might want to make time for yourself to engage in activities that nurture more of the lover in you as opposed to the mommy in you. Invest in some lovely underthings, perfume, erotic films (not porn but the couples love making films), erotic novels to read to your husband, more feminine clothing, new bedroom furnishings, makeup - a host of things that make you feel more like a woman and less like a mother and maid.

Take time also to be alone with your body, to discover and admire it. Work out at the gym, take care of your skin, try on clothes, and yes, masturbate. Find out what pleases you, learn what your responses are, teach your body to respond more quickly to stimulas and perhaps that will help when you are with your husband.

Think about sex. Look around you. Look at other men, other women and other couples. not as partners, of course, but just to get you to begin to think about being more sexual as opposed to being a mother all of the time. When we become a parent we get so into it that I think we forget the sexual part of our lives, or at least put it on the back burner.

Honey, you are going to be fine. The reason I know this is because you want it. You seem to care very much that you please your husband and you are interested in becoming more sexual for him and for yourself. And, you are still interested! You have just become temporarily sidtracked. Try some of the things I have suggested, think of some of your own and I think you will be just fine. There is not a thing wrong with you. Enjoy yourself and enjoy echother. Have a lovely life and a lovely family. gentle thoughts

Answer 6

For women that seems to happen after babies, so for now you have to put your family on a schedule, and force yourself until your desire is back on point again. So get the calender out and you and your husband sit down and plan the days and times that you are going to have sex. Just make sure it is time that does not effect when you have to take care of your little one. You may have to make a date of it until the baby is a little older.

Answer 7

I don't have an answer for you but I can say that I definitely relate to you! My sex drive is at an all time low and my boyfriends is VERY high. I can rub my elbow and he will be arroused. It upsets me because I want to want it more but we can't force it on ourselves!All I want to do is sleep! And I don't even have kids!

You are not alone!

Answer 8

Try taking Ginko Biloba. It increases blood flow in both men and women. You should notice a difference in about 3-4 weeks. Don't take it without checking with your doctor if you are still nursing, though.

Answer 9

We women are considered a slow cooker when it comes to sex.....we need the all day heat to be ready for dinner......Focus on the needs of your husband and desire him all day so at the end of the day you will be ready.....This hard at first, but it will be worth it.

Answer 10

Just remember that you want to do it....

also be a giver, think about doing it for your husbands sake... don't think of it in terms of you wanting it. Think in terms of, "I bet my husband would like some sex now."